Hogwarts Wallflower
by Futago no Akuma Shimai
Summary: When one commits suicide, they certainly don't expect to be born again. Much less into a diff. world where war's on the horizon. A suicidal person doesn't want to live, so who the hell thought it would be a good idea to have her reborn. Who wants to experience puberty twice? Only now Nicolasa gets to be a hormone-driven teen w/ a wand & f-ed up visions of student death everywhere.
1. Chapter 1- Prologue

Chapter 1: Prologue- Goodbye Rosie, Hello Niki

* * *

FULL SUMMERY: _When a person decides to take their own life, aka suicide, they certainly don't expect to be born again… much less into a different universe where war was visible on the horizon. A suicidal person does not want to live, so who the hell thought it would be a brilliant idea to have her reborn. Besides who the hell would ever want to experience puberty twice, only now Nicolasa gets to be a hormone driven teenager with a wand and fucked up visions of her classmates intimate deaths._

* * *

"Sup." = English

 _'Hi…' = Thought_

 _"Hey." = Spanish_

 _"What's up!?" = Japanese_

* * *

 **TRIGGER WARNING!** _(Go to the Warning at the Bottom of the Author's Note for more Info!)_

* * *

 _Drip. Drop._

Red droplets panged hollowly onto the ground as a puddle of her life source formed disturbingly beneath her.

 _Plip. Plop._

Darkness began to cloud her vision. Enthralled, a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. A ragged sigh escaped her lips before hysterical giggles filled her small dreary bedroom.

Her cot was an old bare lumpy mattress on the floor that, despite its hideous apparel and smell, was often far more comfortable to sleep on instead of the ground. The old flower wall paper was stained yellow from age and was peeling in certain areas, the smell of mold and marijuana was predominant in the air, mixing with the metallic smell of fresh blood. The hard wood floor was dull in color and had various suspicious stains permanently scarring its surface.

 _Pling. Shuwak._

The stained razor tore through her small wrist once more, scars, young and old, licked her skin precariously, they crisscrossed in a tantalizing fashion all over her skin.

They were hideous.

They were beautiful, liberating.

She was freeing herself from reality.

Gravity seemed to hit her at full force as her hands fell listlessly beside her, the razor clanging loudly onto the floor beside her, thin bony fingers rubbed fascinatingly against the blood staining the hardwood floor. Using the blood as ink she slowly traced her name with her fingers, 'ROSIE.'

"Hehe, beautiful…." Rosie sighed tiredly as her vision continued to fog over slightly before it cleared once more.

Thin, frail bare legs were stretched out in front of her littered in multicolored bruises varying different sizes. Her thin, hole-filled gray t-shirt was baggy enough to cover her otherwise naked state as it pooled around mid-thigh.

Rosie looked over to where the razor had fallen onto the ground; a ratty tan plush dog, that had definitely seen better days, lied almost sadly by it. It's one coal black eye stared at her almost imploringly as she weakly reached out to it and lifted it up to her face, not caring anymore if blood stained her most prized possession in this world. Despite the underlying scent of mold, the stuffed animal still seemed to faintly smell of the rose perfume her beloved grandmother used to wear before she passed away. It's shaggy 'fur' was soft as she rubbed it on her cheek, comforted immensely by the stuffed dogs presence she gently placed it onto her lap as she rubbed a frayed ear lovingly.

"Woof, woof." She weakly mimicked the sound of a dog, "Hmmm, Boo. I'm gonna miss chu…" she slurred, "You were always su-such a loyal puppy. You'll stay with me until I fall as-asleep right?" she asked the golden retriever stuffed animal that had been by her side since she was a babe. "Hehe, I know chu will… y-you've neber let me down 'fore."

Looking away from her first-and only-friend she peered outside the dirty broken window from where she was sitting on the floor. She could hear a pair of birds chirping in the crisp early evening air as the sun began set over the horizon; its warm rays of light landed on her small broken form gently caressing her as if to say goodbye to a little girl who's only wish in life had been to free.

Rosie's breathing was slowing down, and her vision continued to darken, her grip tightened feebly on Boo as she hugged the plush closer to her body without looking down at it, "B-Boo… I tink its 'ime… lub chu. 'ight, Boo…" she whispered as the last of the sun's golden rays disappeared, stealing the light from her eyes as it disappeared, a gentle smile caressed her face as she stared unseeingly out the window.

Despite her suffering finally ending, Rosaline Louisa Thomas was found dead one week later (when a concerned teacher at the high school called the cops) smiling serenely in a pile of dried blood. Her blank glassed-over eyes stared unseeingly outside of the window as she clutched onto the ratty stuffed dog. She was buried two days later with Boo in her arms. Her 'parents' didn't discover her death until an entire month after her burial when they stumbled into their 'home.' It was an ugly awakening for the deadbeat, druggie couple.

* * *

It was warm. It was dark.

It felt safe, as if she was encased in love. And wasn't that just a foreign concept for her.

She was constantly floating freely, that's what it felt like. There was a steady _'Bu-bump, Bu-bump, Bu-bump, Bu-bump…'_ that constantly seemed to put her at ease.

But overtime, her safe haven seemed to get smaller and smaller, until she could barely move a muscle. She hated that she couldn't float anymore, but the sound of the constant _'Bu-bump, Bu-bump'_ often put her to sleep so she didn't mind so much.

* * *

Something was wrong.

Her safe haven was twitching, squeezing. She could feel herself move downwards, as if being pulled or in this case pushed out by an invisible force.

Pain. The pressure on her head was killing her. Her body ( _'Wait body? B-but I died right?'_ ) felt contorted as she was pressed into painful positions. Something grabbed her head and suddenly…

She was out!

 _"¡Está perdiendo mucha sangre!"_ A panicked voice screamed.

Cold. Freezing. Loud!

The sensations felt so foreign after being under total sensory deprivation, but for now she was more concerned over the fact that she felt like she couldn't breathe and the unsettling notion that something or someone seemed to be holding her effortlessly. The change from warm to cold was so drastic that she felt as if she'd been paralyzed.

 _"¡Doctor! ¿Qué está pasando? ¡Que le va a pasar a mi esposa!"_ a man asked desperately in the background, _"¿La bebe… como esta mi bebe, porque no llora?"_

Suddenly the giant that had pulled her out of the warm and safe place smacked her ass.

 _"La vámos a perder!"_ the same worried voice shouted as people began shuffling around in panic at the voice's shout.

A terrified scream broke out of her mouth. Who hit her! What was going on! She died. She knew she died…. This entire situation felt almost as if… No! That was impossible! She couldn't have been born again… she was not a baby nope! Her terrified wailing reached a higher pitch as she screamed in denial and fear. She had killed herself for a reason!

At least she was breathing now.

" _¡Señor Santos! Tu esposa está perdiendo mucha sangre… no creo que vamos a poder salvarla."_

 _"¡No! Porfabor no! ¡Tiene que haber algo que podemos hacer! ¡Te lo ruego!"_ a different, and somehow familiar, panicked and pain filled voice shouted horrified, making her cry harder in fear.

 _'What in the world was going on! What language are they even speaking right now! They sure as hell ain't speaking English!'_ she thought as she panicked.

She tried to open her eyes to find out what was going on, but the world was a bright painful blur, squeezing her eyes in pain she continued to cry in confusion and anger as the giant- _she was not ready to accept that she was a baby just yet_ -finally wrapped her up in something warm.

 _"Ricardo. Sabiamos los riesgos. Porfabor, Ricardo, déjame ver mi bebe mientras tengo la fuerza._ " A tired and weak voice spoke softly.

 _"Ángela…"_ the male's voice broke painfully, " _No sé si lo puedo hacer sin ti."_

 _"Mi bebe…"_ the woman's voice pleaded.

 _"Felicitaciones Señora Santos, es una niña. Se ve muy sana también."_ The giant's voice carried over sadly - _pityingly_ \- to the whispering couple and she was placed on top of someone's chest, her ear was placed right over the bosom of a woman - _because guys don't have boobs, so it had to be a woman_ \- she could hear the steady _'Bu-bump, Bu-bump'_ that she had grown to love when she was still in her safe haven. Oh, god. It was a heartbeat. This-this was her mother, wasn't she? _'NO! No I'm not a baby, I'm not!'_

 _"Mi amor, se ve preciosa."_ The woman, her mother, said in awe, " _Tiene tus rulos y tus orejas, incluso tiene las marcas de belleza como tú tienes."_ A beautiful laugh escaped her lips as she gently caressed the top of her head.

 _'Bu-bump, Bu-bump… Bu-bump, Bu-bump…. Bu-bu-bump, Bu-bump….'_

The man chuckled painfully, _"Si, y tiene tu nariz y boca… la forma de tus ojos también."_

 _"Jeje, mi preciosa bebe…. La vas a cuidar con tu vida verdad, Ricardo. Ella y Luka son mis tesoros. Las pruebas de nuestro amor."_ Her mother pleaded to the man she assumed was her father from the way they seemed to treat each other. From the heartbreak in both their voices and actions.

 _'Bu-bump… Bu-bump…..Bu-bu-bump, Bu-bump…..Bu-bump…..Bu-bump…..'_

 _"Ángela, te lo prometo. Te lo prometo amor."_ Her father said in pain.

 _"¡Gracias! Gracias Ricardo, por convertirme en una mama… la única cosa es que lamento no ser parte de su vida, pero yo siento que puedo morir en paz porque tú vas a estar aquí para ella."_ She could feel her face getting wet from her mother's tears as she spoke to the man…. Something was terribly wrong; she could feel it in the pit of her stomach.

 _'Bu-b-bu-bump… B-b-bu-bump….. Bu-bump….'_

 _"Ricicardo… Su nombre es... Nicolasa, Nicolasa Candelaria Santos…."_ Her mother breathed out lovingly, _"Mi preciosa Niki….. te amo…. Dale un abrazo y un bezo a mi Luka… dile que mama lo ama con toda de su corazón."_ She whispered in her ear before pressing a trembling kiss to her temple.

 _'Bu-b-b-bu-bu-bump….. Bu-b-bu-bump…Bu-bump…..Bu-bu-b-bump….'_

 _"Ángela, gracias por entregarme este regalo precioso… gracias por casarse conmigo, por ser mi amante esposa y por darme una hermosa hija para amar…. Gracias por amarme. Ángela, te amo."_ Her father choked out as he shifted above her, she was positive that her new parents were kissing

 _'Bu-b-bu-b-bu-bump… Bu-bump….. Bu-b-bump….'_

 _"Yo también… te amo Ricardo….."_ she breathed out tiredly as all the air seemed to leave from her chest, to - _the newly named, not that she knew that just yet_ \- Nicolasa's rising horror her mother's chest wasn't rising anymore.

 _'B-b-bump…. Bu-bump… Bu-bum….'_

Silence.

Nicolasa screamed in horror, and a bit in grief, as her new mother passed away. Her sobbing father cradled her under his chin as he rocked her in his arms in comfort.

 _'What a horrible way to come into the world.'_ Nicolasa thought privately to herself, when she fell asleep that night after being bottle fed by her grief-stricken father as he brokenly hummed a lullaby to her.

* * *

 **It was peaceful, she could feel nothing. All the pain from the beating her dad and mom had given her when they were drunk had disappeared. She looked down at her lifeless body unflinchingly; she appeared to be some sort of ghost as she seemed to be floating gently in the air above her broken body.**

 **Ah, so this was death.**

 ** _'What a rip off.'_** **Rosie thought, what was the point in killing herself if she was just going to be an eternal specter haunting the earth? _'Then again, the bible says that people who suicide go to hell… I guess this is better than that.'_ She huffed.**

 **"Rosie." A voice said lovingly behind her, causing her eyes to widen in shock as joyful tears threatened to spill over her eyes.**

 **Slowly Rosie turned around in disbelief, "Nana?" she asked hesitantly, looking at the floating specter behind her. She looked healthier, compared to the day that she'd passed away; her cheeks were rosy and her smile full and at peace. She was wearing a light yellow sundress that flowed angelically around her, cornflower blue eyes looked at her full of love and compassion.**

 **"My darlin' baby girl," the old woman said choking up as she opened her arms wide, Rosie let the tears in her eyes spill over as she ran into the warm embrace of the only living person who had ever gave a damn about her, "Look at chu?" she said as her arms held her tight, "My sweet baby you've grown up beautifully." As she stroked her straight orange hair softly, before pulling back from her hug to look into Rosie's identical cornflower blue eyes.**

 **"I missed chu." Rosie sobbed, "I was so 'lone."**

 **Her sweet grandmother hugged her under her chin once more and rubbed her back comfortingly, "I know baby, I know. I've been watchin' over you this entire time."**

* * *

 **~SEVEN MONTHS LATER~**

Being a baby was incredibly boring, sure it had been entertaining at first learning how to speak Spanish, but even that lost its glamor after a while. She completely depended on her Papi for everything; diaper changes, eating, bathing, sleeping… even attempting to alleviate the boredom she constantly felt. The only reprieve she got was when she was asleep or when her Papi let Luka play with her, otherwise she was a bit of a gloomy baby.

Luka, as she found out shortly after arriving home, has her older brother by two years. The toddler was completely adorable (he had the cutest beauty marks on his face) and had taken to guarding her whenever there were visitors, as if he was afraid that someone was going to take her away from him. Sure sometimes he was a little rough with her, but she blamed that on the fact that toddlers were generally uncoordinated.

One interesting thing she had noted though, after her memory of what happened between her death and being reborn returned to her, was that magic was real. As in wizards and witches actually existed, they really rode on brooms and waved sticks around to do amazing deeds. Her dad, for instance, often used his magic to clean up after the messes she and Luka (mostly Luka, since the most she could do was barf and/or poop on him) made, he would use a charm to make all of their toys put themselves away and he even had a nifty spell that cleaned all of dishes. Most of her toys were animated and would 'play' with her when she reached out to them; Luka for example had this amazing toy dragon that could fly and 'breath fire' on the 'evil' knights trying to slay him.

When she had first noticed that her dad could perform magic she had, naturally, panicked. After all, magic didn't exist in her original world. The most magical thing about her universe, in her opinion at least, had been the internet.

 _"Goo' mornin' Niki!_ " Luka's high-pitched voice giggled above her, yawning she looked up into his loving greenish grey eyes and cooed back in greeting. His smile widened, the dimple on the left side of his face becoming more pronounced, as he used all of his strength to hop over the bars of the cradle and cuddle up into her side after kissing her temple. Nicolasa's pudgy hand lightly patted his chubby cheeks as she wiggled excitedly when he began to tickle her sides gently. His messy chin length straight red-brown hair was sticking up in funny directions as he laid back down beside her when he heard her small tummy rumbling. " _Jeje, Niki! Are chu hun'gy? Let's call Papi… cry now!_ " he told her excitedly as they both began to cry together to get their dad running to the nursery.

" _I'm up!_ " they heard his groggy voice shout as he ran to her bedroom, " _There, there… don't cry._ " He said soothingly as picked her up with one arm and grabbed Luka with his free one. " _I bet you guys are hungry right?_ " he asked them, " _What do you want to eat for breakfast Luka?_ "

Luka rubbed his eyes before smiling into the crook of their dad's neck, " _Eggs! An' bay-ken! tetero too!_ " he cheered.

Nicolasa giggled giddily in agreement as she flailed her arms excitedly, even though she knew that the only thing they would be giving her was the _tetero_ (baby bottle/formula).

" _Alright, eggs and bacon it is!_ " her Papi agreed as he smiled lovingly down at them.

" _Yay!"_ Luka cheered happily as he threw his arms in the air.

 **~ONE MONTH LATER~**

Teething hurt. But at least now she was eating solid foods again….

Nicolasa chewed vigorously on her teething ring as she lay contently on her belly on the play mat; Luka, as always, was sitting close by her as he watched contently as his toy dragon decimated the knights. Her Papi, at the moment, was in his study doing some paperwork.

She had finally realized what country she had reborn in, she was a Spaniard! In other words, she was in Europe! She had always wanted to visit Europe. In her past life she used to spend the majority of her time reading books about the amazing history that Europe held. It had been one of her dreams, before reality destroyed them, to go on a massive road trip that would take her all over Europe. Now Europe was in her back yard and the road trip would definitely be possible when she was older.

Giggling cutely as she flailed her legs behind her excitedly at the thought of going on a European road trip.

" _Niki…._ " Luka came up and squatted in front of her a serious expression for once painting his face, " _You're 'ike me right? You died an' come 'ere._ " he told her in hushed whisper.

Nicolasa's eyes widened in surprise and fear, her lower lip trembled as her baby instincts were screaming at her to cry. Silent tears began to cascade down her chubby cheeks startling Luka out of his reverie as he reached own gently and tried to wipe away the tears from her eyes.

" _Don' cry Niki, I knewed fr'm da beg-gin… from da start. 'Cause you is like me…_ " he tried comforting her as he explained, " _I was fr'm Japan, an' when I die- dey tol' me I was havin' a secon' chance an' dat I wasn goin' ta be da only one._ "

Nicolasa looked at him in shock as her mouth opened and closed, she pulled her brother closer to her and hugged him tightly, " _Lu-Lu…"_ she whispered brokenly.

Luka hugged her firmly as he rubbed her head, " _Don' worry nii-chan will protec' you…_" he murmured soothingly in her ear, " _Dey say you're jus' like me… so dat means you also kill you self too… now yous don' need ta w'rry 'cause I'm here now. Okay?_ "

Nicolasa nodded her head, still trying to process the fact that her seemingly older brother had also suicided and ended up as a baby, as she nervously as she bit her bottom lip, " _Lu-Lu… lub me?_ " she asked tentatively trying to ask the toddler that she had grown to love over the last couple months if he still loved her despite the fact that she wasn't really a newborn baby, just like he wasn't really just a toddler either.

Luka pulled her away from where she had burrowed herself into his shirt and kissed her forehead lovingly, " _Si, always! I love you Niki, I always protect you!"_ he promised seriously, before his eyes widened and a giant smile bloomed on his face, " _You-you say your first words! An' it was me name!"_ he cheered excitedly as he stood up and did an adorable baby version of the 'victory dance' causing Nicolasa to burst out into peals of laughter, before she put her forefinger clumsily in front of her mouth.

" _Lu-Lu, sec'et."_ She admonished him as she smiled widely, as he continued to dance and laugh.

' _Despite the fact that I didn't want this second life…. I'm glad I have it…_ ' Nicolasa thought as she stared at her beloved older brother lovingly as her Papi came into the living room to see what was so funny, ' _I wouldn't trade Luka for the world..'_ her daddy grabbed Luka and twirled him around in the air as more shrieks of laughter filled the room, gigging joyfully she raised her arms in the air to be picked up too, _'Or Papi of course.'_ She thought as he lifted her gently up and rested her onto his hip before kissing the crown of her head lovingly.

 _"Okay guys, who's hungry?_ " he asked cheerfully.

 _"Me!_ " Luka chirped before speaking up for her, " _Niki too!"_

Yeah, she wouldn't trade this for the world. They weren't perfect, but they were hers.

* * *

 **After Rosie's sobs ceased her grandmother wiped away the stray tears and kissed her for head lovingly before she sighed sadly and grabbed her wrists gently, "Oh my sweet Rose, I know why you did what you've done… but my heart aches knowin' that your life was cut so short. You don't deserve this love. You were supposed to fall in love with a nice boy an' get married, have chil'ren an'-and just be happy." The old woman said mournfully as she rubbed her grandchild's skinny wrists.**

 **Rosie looked at her arms blankly, she wasn't ashamed of cutting but she was sad that she'd hurt her grandmother so much, "Nana… I'm sorry." Making her grandmother's eyes snap back to look at her.**

 **"Don't you say that child." She warned her finger wagging chastisingly at her, "I know you ain't 'sorry' at all. An' I don't blame you for that either. But I can only wish that you are able to find love an' happiness now…. You have to promise me that. Promise me that you'll find a love so b'utiful that the angels above well sing songs abou' it." She pleaded her desperately.**

 **"Wh-what? Nana, what are you talkin' about?" Rosie asked confused out of her mind.**

 **Her grandmother rubbed her arm comfortingly, "Oh my baby girl, it- it wasn' your time to go. You're getting' a secon' chance at life."**

 **Rosie felt herself pale in fear, "No! No, I jus' wanna stay wit' you! I-I wanted to die for reason Nana, I don' need another chance at nuttin!"**

 **"Sweetheart, you'll be goin' to a magical place, it'll be an entire different universe. There's wizards an' witches, wit' real magic spells and magical critters…" her grandmother gushed excitedly, "It'll be amazin'! I made sure tha' your new parents are lovin' people, they'll treasure you like my son and his wife were 'upposed to do."**

 **Rosie blinked in confusion and fear of the unknown, "But Nana, I-I don' wanna be born again… I jus' wanna be free-Ow!" Rosie yelped as her Nana pinched her arm.**

 **"Now you listen to me right now child! It wasn' easy for me to convince them tha' you deserve an explanation before you were reborn in an entirely different universe to have a better life than the one you were given! So don't you give me no lip!" she reprimanded her angrily.**

 **"S'rry, Nana." Rosie whispered as she rubbed her arm.**

 **Her grandmother nodded her head, "Goo'. Now listen to me real careful child, this is importan'. Yer secon' life ain't gonna be normal in th' sense tha' you'll be able ta see t'ings you'd never seen before. You'll see the deaths of people in a'vance, but only if their death ain't natural. They say that there will be triggers, learn'em an' use them to yer advantage. I know tha' you have more questions darlin' but it's time fer you ta go."**

 **Rosie blinked rapidly, you couldn't just dump that kind of news on someone and expect them to be fine, "Nana! Wait, what do ya mean?" she asked her confused as the old woman began to push her into the direction of the window where a bright light shone beautifully, despite the fact that the sun had already set.**

 **"Oh, bef're I forget. My sweet lil' flower, you need to 'member this: you are not 'lone." She told her sternly before she pushed her out the window.**

 **"Wha-! Nana!" she screamed in fear as the warm light enveloped her ethereal body gently.**

 **"Goo' luck baby girl." The old woman said lovingly as Rosie's vision turned black and she knew no more.**

* * *

 **Translate:**

 _"¡Está perdiendo mucho sangre!"_ **"She's lousing too much blood!"**

 _"¡Doctor! ¿Qué está pasando? ¡Que le va a pasar a mi esposa! ¿La bebe… como esta mi bebe?"_ " **"Doctor! What is going on? What is going to happen to my wife! The baby… how is my baby?"**

 _"La vámos a perder **!"**_ **"We're gonna lose her!"**

 _"¡Señor Santos! Tu esposa está perdiendo mucho sangre… no creo que vamos a poder salvarla."_ **"Mr. Santos! Your wife is lousing too much blood…. We're not going to be able to save her."**

 _"¡No! Porfabor no! ¡Tiene que haber algo que podemos hacer! ¡Te lo ruego!"_ **"No! Please no! There has to be something that can be done! I beg you!"**

 _"Ricardo. Sabiamos los riesgos. Porfabor, Ricardo, déjame ver mi bebe mientras tengo la fuerza."_ **"Ricardo. We knew the risks. Please, Ricardo, let me see my baby while I still have the strength."**

 _"Ángela… No sé si lo puedo hacer sin ti."_ **"Angela… I don't know if I can do this without you."**

 _"Mi bebe…"_ **"My baby…"**

 _"Felicitaciones Señora Santos, es una niña. Se ve muy sana también."_ **"Congradulations Mrs. Santos, it's a girl. A very healthy baby too."**

 _"Mi amor, se ve completamente preciosa. Tiene tus rulos y tus orejas, incluso tiene las marcas de belleza como tú tienes."_ **"My love, she's completely precious. She has your curls and your ears, she even has beauty marks like you do."**

 _"Si, y tiene tu nariz y boca… la forma de tus ojos también."_ **"Yes, she also has your nose and mouth, even the shape of your eyes."**

 _"Jeje, mi preciosa bebe…. La vas a cuidar con tu vida verdad, Ricardo? Ella y Luka son mis tesoros. Las pruebas de nuestro amor **."**_ **"Hehe, my precious baby… You'll protect/care for her with your life right, Ricardo? She and Luka are my treasures. The proofs of our love."**

 _"Ángela, te lo prometo. Te lo prometo amor."_ **"Angela, I promise you. I promise you my love."**

 _"¡Gracias! Gracias Ricardo, por convertirme en una mama…la única cosa es que lamento no ser parte de su vida, pero yo siento que puedo morir en paz porque tú vas a estar aquí para ella."_ **"Thank you! Thank you Ricardo, for making me a mother… my only regret is not being able to be a part of her life, but I feel like I can die in peace because you will be here for her."**

 _"Ricicardo… Su nombre es... Nicolasa, Nicolasa Candelaria Santos….Mi preciosa Niki….. te amo. Dale un abrazo y un bezo a mi Luka… dile que mama le ama con toda de su corazón."_ **"Ricardo… Her name is…. Nicolasa, Nicoloasa Candelaria Santos…. My precios Niki….. I love you. Give a hug and Kiss to my Luka… tell him that mama loves him with all of her heart."**

 _"Ángela, gracias por entregarme este regalo precioso… gracias por casarse conmigo, por ser mi amante esposa y por darme una hermosa hija para amar…. Gracias por amarme. Ángela, te amo."_ **"Angela, thank you for gracing me with this precious gift… thank you for marrying me, for being my loving wife and for giving me a beautiful daughter to love… Thank you for loving me. Angela, I love you."**

 _"Yo también… te amo Ricardo….."_ **"Me too…. I love you Ricardo…."**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Well here I am… writing another fanfic when I still haven't updated two of my other fics. Please don't kill me. If anyone out there is reading my One Piece fanfic I just updated it today so feel free to go check that out. If anyone is reading my OHSHC fanfic, I am slowly editing the story (I did chapter 2 yesterday) as the writing in my opinion was shitty and all over the place… once I'm done editing I might start regularly updating it as well… We'll see what happens. As for those of you who are fans of my Naruto Fanfic… please have patience with me, I'll see if I can update it within the next week or so. For all of those who are new to reading my stories, WELCOME! I don't update regularly but I usually post a new chapter every two months (I know it's a loooong waiting period), but even if it takes a while for me update I promise I will never, and I mean never, abandon a story.**

 **One interesting fact about this story is that the first part of it was inspired by a short story I had to write in my creative writing class about a girl who commits suicide. If anyone is interested in reading it let me know and I may post it online as an original work.**

 ** _Warning:_**

 ** _This story is going to be a bit more triggering and dark than my other fics because of the subject matter revolving around death, depression, self-worth issues, suicide, etc. If anyone out there is suffering from depression or having suicidal thoughts, this story may not be for you. And that's okay. I wrote this during a very dark period in my life. I had a note written and everything, but I got the help I needed and here I am a year later posting this. If anyone reading this needs someone to talk to or hash out their feelings with, feel free to message me. Writing this fic was extremely therapeutic for me and I hope that it can touch/impact other people as it has to me._**

* * *

 ** _Words:_** ** _4,004_**

 ** _FAV/FOLLOW/REVIEW_**

 **Love, Mara-Chan (o l l o)**


	2. Chapter 2: Birthday's&GrowingOlder(pt)

**Chapter 2 _: Birthday's and Growing Older (pt.1)_**

* * *

"Sup." = English

 _'Hi…'= Thought_

 _"Hey." = Spanish_

 _"What's up!?" = Japanese_

* * *

 ** _TRIGGER WARNING: Talk of SUICIDE! _**

* * *

**~FOUR MONTHS LATER~**

Today was her first birthday; she had surprisingly been born on April 1st 1960, basically, it was the universe's form of saying _'Haha, and you thought you could escape me.'_ She woke up that cheery morning to an excited Luka climbing into her crib and peppering her up in hugs and kisses.

" _Happy Bir'day Niki!"_ he exclaimed happily.

She giggled joyfully as she buried her face into his pirate pajamas _, "Luka!"_ she chirped. That's right chirped, Nicolasa had said her first 'official' words the month before- much to her father's joy and surprise when she screamed _'Papi!_ ' at the dinner table one night when they had guest over to get his attention.

 _"Jeje, your finally one!"_ Luka exclaimed excitedly, _"I'm so proud!"_ he sniffed suspiciously before showering her with kisses again.

 _"Lu-Lu, off..."_ she whined, trying to hide a smile, as she failed to get her emotional older brother to stop slobbering her up with love _. "No more…"_ she giggled.

 _"I can' stop, you are too cute!"_ he admonished as he squeezed her once more, tucking her small frame to his slightly bigger one.

 _"Lu-Lu… you so annoy-"_ she starting complaining, feeling more than a little suffocated by her brother's intense love before a familiar loving voice interrupted her.

 _"Where's the birthday girl!"_ her _Papi_ said happily as he basically bounced into her nursery _, "Ah, I see that the big brother has already made his presence known, huh Lu-Lu?"_ he asked teasingly as he used the pet name Nicolasa had been using for Luka.

Luka pouted, _"No Papi! Only Niki can call me Lu-Lu!"_ he chastised with a pout.

 _"Oh, really?"_ their father asked in barely concealed amusement, _"Well then I'm sorry Luka, only Niki can call you Lu-Lu."_ He agreed if only to get her brother to stop his sulking, as he untangled the siblings and picked her up lovingly into his arms. Kissing her temple gently before smiling at her proudly, _"Happy Birthday, my sweetest treasure!"_

Luka pulled himself up with the help from the bars on the crib before lifting his arms up, " _Papi pick me up too!"_ he demanded as their joyful dad complied with a laugh and a bright smile as he lifted his only son up onto his hip with practiced ease.

 _"Alright you two let's get breakfast over with so we can get ready for Niki's birthday party!_ " he said in teasing tone as the both of them cheered in - _false, not that he knew that_ \- excitement. After all, a party meant having to share not only their dad's attention with other people but each other as well.

Breakfast went by quickly and messily, prompting their dad to draw them a bath and dump the three-year-old and one-year-old into the tub. Giggling the siblings made their bath as difficult as possible, not because they don't love their father… but because being a baby/toddler was mind-numbingly boring and they needed to be able to draw amusement from the 'little things' in order to stay sane.

After being dried off, Nicolasa and Luka watched passively from their perch, on their dad's massive king sized bed, as he brought out two 'fancy' looking outfits and began to dress them. Deciding that they had been mischievous enough that morning with a glance, they let their frazzled looking father dress them quickly and make their hair (for Luka this meant having it combed back, and for Nicolasa this meant she now had two tiny little pigtails on top her head with blue little bows to match her party dress) before he set them down on the floor.

Nicolasa looked around the room curiously, she had only been in her _Papi's_ bedroom a handful of times before and that was usually at night, when they had some special nighttime cuddles before going to sleep… So she'd never actually explored his room before. Luka seemed to immediately notice her curiosity and smiled gently at her before taking hold of her small pudgy hand and pulling her up to her feet shakily.

 _"Come on Niki, I bet you have never looked at yourself in the mirror before."_ He said excitedly as he tugged her over to the walking closet they had just seen their dad disappear into before taking her to the back of the closet. Nicolasa stared at her reflection in wonder.

The little toddler whose hands were clasped with her older brother's stared back at her in wonder and fascination. She had the same greenish-grey almond-shaped eyes and long thick eyelashes and an upturned/dainty nose that Luka had, but her hair was black and wavy (despite how short it was at the moment) similar to her father's own hair. Her olive tan skin had no blemishes other than the five beauty marks on her face (one below her right eye, one on the left corner of her mouth, and three shaped like a 'U' under her left eye). Her face was pudgy with infanthood but she could tell that it was heart shaped and she seemed to have been gifted with natural pink pouty lips (that she'd been utilizing unknowingly to her advantage by giving her father the 'puppy eyes' to get her and Luka out of trouble whenever the siblings had ever crossed the line in their endless pursuit to end their boredom) that smiled back at her curiously as she stared at her reflection. Blinking amusedly she noticed that just like Luka she also had a dimple on her cheek but it was just on the right side of her face mirroring her brother's smile.

Luka smiled lovingly at her reflection, " _You're pretty, Niki. You look like Mami."_ He told her seriously.

Nicolasa's eyes widened in surprise, before she looked up at her older brother in wonder, " _Mami?"_ she asked disbelievingly, she had been practically blind when she was born and had never really had a chance to look at the woman who had given birth to her before she'd died.

 _"Yea, you and Mami are very beautiful."_ He told her in an honest voice before kissing her forehead clumsily.

 _"Luka, Niki? Where are you two?"_ their fathers concerned voice questioned as he looked for them in between the clothing hanging in the closet, before his face relaxed as he saw his two well dressed (for once, as the majority of the time the two of them like to run around barefoot in diapers after pulling off whatever clothes he'd put on them in the morning) children hugging each other in front of the mirror _. "Oh, is this what you two have been up to?"_ he questioned them as they pulled away from each other.

Nicolasa giggled excitedly as she pointed to the mirror to show him her reflection, her dad laughed at her excitement before he picked her up and set her on his hip, _"I see you've discovered your reflection today, huh?"_ he asked her as he hugged her into his chest, _"You've gotten so big princesa, it feels as if were only yesterday when I brought you home from the hospital,"_ he confessed to her sweetly before sighing sadly, " _If only your Mami was here, she would have been so proud of you…"_

Nicolasa exchanged a concerned look with Luka as he led them to the living room before grabbing her dad's face to get his attention, _"I lub chu Papi."_ Nicolasa said as she looked at him seriously.

Her dad's previous melancholy expression melted off his face before a wide smile bloomed across it, showing off her dads elongated canine teeth, _"I love you too princesa."_

Luka tugged cutely on his pants as they stopped in front of the fireplace, _"Me too!"_ he said seriously _"I love Papi too!"_

Her dad smiled lovingly at Luka before picking him up with his free arm, " _I love you more_." He told Luka with a smile as he kissed the top of his head making Luka smile cutely in response.

After throwing a pinch of salt into the fireplace and yelling _: "The Angel's Lair,"_ the small family of three disappeared from the living room.

* * *

 **~SIX MONTHS LATER~**

Nicolasa wasn't ashamed to admit that the first time her father ever morphed in front of her she had screamed in fright. Then again no one could blame a one and half year old for freaking out after seeing their beloved father turn into a white lion right before their eyes. Even Luka had been initially unsettled before he remembered that the lion before them was still their father.

 _"Niki, it's okay! Don't be scared, that's just Papi!"_ he tried to explain to her while she hid fearfully behind him.

Shooting him a disbelieving glance she let out another shriek of fear as the massive lion padded closer to where they were standing _. "That's a lion! Not Papi!"_ she shot back at Luka, _"Where Papi go?"_ she asked worriedly, the white lion didn't seem to be acting aggressively and had even stopped moving closer when she had shrieked in terror, but Nicolasa was just about ready to trust the lion as far as she could throw him.

Luka turned around and hugged her tightly before pulling back and looking into her eyes, " _No Niki. That is Papi, 'member? He told us he was gonna show us something special that everyone in our family learns how to do."_ He stated seriously before whispering in her ear, _"Besides, I've seen Papi do that b'fore when Mami was still here. I promise it's okay."_

Nicolasa peeked at the lion from behind Luka before looking at her older brother dubiously, _"Po'mise?"_ she asked nervously.

" _Promise."_ He stated before smiling goofily down at her and tugging at her hand, " _Come on let's go and pet Rey, that's Papi's animal name!"_ he told her cheerfully as he dragged her towards the lion, who was at this point laying languidly down in the middle of the living room as he stared back at them with warm attentive greyish-blue eyes. Her father's eyes. Nicolasa felt herself calm down as she stared into the lion's loving eyes, now fully convinced that her father had magically turned himself into one of Africa's giant cats.

She watched on curiously as Luka flung himself against the lion's side and began rubbing his face against his fur, giggling in amusement as Luka clambered onto the lions back and began petting Rey's/ _Papi's_ mane, Nicolasa tentatively reached out her hand in front of the lion's nose. The albino lion blinked before sniffing her pudgy hand and licking her fingers.

Nicolasa shrieked as a high pitched giggle escaped her throat and threw herself onto the lions head and began rubbing her face against his, who knew lion's fur could feel so soft?

The small family of three spent the rest of the afternoon in a familiar manner as their father gave them piggy back rides in his lion form until it was time for dinner. It even eventually became the siblings' favorite pastime to play with their father's animal form on days where he wasn't too busy.

* * *

 **~FOUR YEARS AND THREE MONTHS LATER~**

 _"Luka!"_ Nicolasa whined in annoyance as her older brother snatched her music paper away and ran to the other side of the room, _"Give it back! I'm trying to practice here!"_ she demanded jutting out her hip imperiously as she held onto her twelve-hole transverse ocarina that had been carved out of wood. It had been given to her by her _Papi_ for her fifth birthday.

Luka laughed merrily at the tone his little sister was making, _"Niki, I just want to see the music you're learning!"_ the seven-year-old admonished her, _"I'm trying to convince my cuatro teacher to get us a duet to work on together."_ He explained as he read the sheet of music, _"Seems like you're getting pretty advanced already."_ He said proudly, _"We'll definitely be able to convince our music teacher to let us do another duet together."_ He said excitedly, making Nicolasa roll her eyes.

 _"We have the same music instructor Lu-Lu…. Besides Luka, we already play the guitar together why do you want to learn these instruments together too?"_ she asked him exasperatedly.

Luka looked at the floor in slight embarrassment _; "Well…"_ he trailed off making Nicolasa look at him in concern.

 _"Lu-Lu, what's wrong?"_ she asked gently in concern as he looked up from the floor.

 _"It's just that… you're gonna start kindergarten this September, and they already decided to move me up two more grade levels again next year since fourth grade was too easy for me … we don't spend enough time together as it is."_ He said nervously as he played with the hem of his shirt.

Nicolasa smiled at her silly older brother, " _Oh, Lu-Lu. I don't want to play music with anyone else!"_ she explained to him fondly, " _You're the only one that understands me anyway…"_ she said referring to their past lives, " _It's gonna be annoying to have to go to kindergarten… maybe they'll test me and move me up a couple of grades too!"_ she said excitedly, _"This way the faster we make our way through school the faster we can graduate and never have to go back!"_

Luka smiled widely at her, showing off the elongated canine teeth he had inherited from their dad, _"That's true! The sooner we can get out the sooner we can get back home!"_

It was no secret in their family that the two siblings were extremely intelligent for their physical ages, and the siblings had been talking in full sentences since they were both a year old, they had even learned how to read when they were just toddlers out of the sheer boredom it was to be a baby. Luka and Nicolasa had simply decided to never hide their intelligence, it would have been too much of a bother in the sibling's opinion, and their dad had encouraged them to read as many books as they could, until the point where it seemed that the two siblings had read the entirety of the medium-sized library in the house.

He had eventually decided to enroll the siblings in a mundane primary school in hope that it would alleviate their boredom and prompt the two introverted children into making friends their age… So far, for Luka that plan had been a horrible failure. Due to his advanced intelligence, he didn't get along with the kids in his age group and the older kids as well (those whom he went to class with) didn't want to associate themselves with a younger kid, especially one that would fall under the category of a 'nerd.'

It was also no secret in their family that Luka absolutely abhorred mundane school, sure he liked learning but he already knew everything that was being taught in school. He hated the students for picking on him for being smart. He hated the teachers who only made things worse by favoring him in class. He hated being separated from his sister (the only human being on the planet who actually understood him). And he hated not being able to play or practice his music whenever he wanted…

 _"Or maybe we can even convince Papi to homeschool us instead!"_ Nicolasa chirped hopefully as she tried to cheer up her older brother, _"The same way we have English and Japanese tutors, and flamenco classes-and music lessons!"_

Luka smiled widely at her, " _Yea! He'll definitely give in! It wouldn't make sense for him not to!"_ he agreed.

 _"Hmmm, 'he'll give in' to what?_ " their father asked as he looked at his excited children as they sprang up from where they'd been sitting and quickly made their way to him.

 _"Papi!"_ they cheered in surprise and barely concealed hope and anticipation as they wrapped their arms around him.

* * *

 _ **~FLASHBACK: A YEAR AND A HALF AGO~**_

 _"Lu-Lu?"_ Nicolasa whispered to the older boy from where she was laying on her tummy in her sleeping bag.

 _"Yea?"_ he whispered back as he shuffled around so that he was facing her.

The brother and sister had decided to have a 'camp out in the living room that night and had spent the entire afternoon building the fort they were now going to be sleeping.

Nicolasa nervously chewed her lip before looking her brother seriously in the eyes, " _My name was_ Rosaline Louisa Thomas, _but my_ Nana _used to call me_ Rosie."

She could make out Luka's eyes widening in surprise before he looked at her in understanding, " _My name used to be Akiyama Naoki."_ He whispered back causing her to smile gently at him before she swallowed nervously and continued.

 _"I was born in the_ USA, Tennessee _on October 2nd, 1997. My first 'parents,' had me when they were teenagers. They didn't want me but my_ Nana _didn't let my mother have an abortion."_ She confessed nervously.

 _"I was born in Tokyo, Japan on November 13th, 1995. I was an unexpected baby because my 'parents' already had an heir… my older brother Ichiro… they didn't really pay much attention to me."_ Luka shrugged.

" _My 'parents' were druggies and drunkards. All they cared about was doing marijuana and drinking. When they were drunk they would hit me. After my_ Nana _passed away we didn't have money for food, so they told me to either get a job so they could buy more drugs or they would pimp my body."_ Nicolasa said nonchalantly.

 _"I'm gay. My 'parents' saw me kissing another boy when I was thirteen; my 'dad' shaved my head. He never let me grow out my hair again. The kids in school somehow found out. I was bullied in and out of school over the internet. The boys in my class would beat me until I'd lose consciousness afterschool every day."_ Luka explained.

 _"There was a boy in my grade who was ostracized after he came out…. I didn't have any friends, they thought I was weird and gloomy… they didn't want to be friends with someone that would wear the same clothes every day because I couldn't wash my laundry or bathe regularly. My 'dad' got even more violent after he would drink, and he started beating me even more. He broke my ribs and my arm once."_

 _"The kids in school put tacks in my shoes and in my locker, and they vandalized all my books and my desk. They would steal my lunch and corner me in the bathroom where they would dunk my head in the toilet. They ruined my school uniform. My 'parents and my brother' didn't care. I had to pay or the repairs on my own. My 'dad' said that maybe it would get rid of the faggot inside of me."_

 _"I started cutting myself. It was liberating. At first, I was scared that it was going to painful, but even the little pain I got from that was enjoyable since it took my mind off of everything else. The scars were hideous but beautiful, and they were everywhere. I would often lose myself staring at them, sometimes I miss them. Throughout all that time I only had Boo, she was my stuff animal. She wasn't the prettiest stuffed dog in the world but she was mine, she was in my arms when I died."_ She said almost serenely.

 _"The teachers weren't helping me, I heard them once in the teachers' lounge talking about how they wished I would just go away because I was bringing down school morale causing problems. I heard my 'parents' speaking one night, they were planning to disown me and kick me out of the house if I didn't change my preference from male to female. Then I found out that it had been Ichiro who had told the school I as gay. That was the last straw."_ He growled angrily, the betrayal of his once-brother still as raw around now as it had been when he'd first found out. Nicolasa's grip on his hand tightened in comfort.

 _"The girls from school found out that I had to work so that my parents could buy more drugs, they started up a bunch of horrible rumors about how I was a slut and that I had diseases like AID's from how much 'I slept around.' No one believed me when I said it was a lie, they just told me 'to go work my corner…' it was heartbreaking."_ She said softly.

 _"I was frustrated and angry and I didn't want to live anymore. I made a video stating my name and who I was, where I was from, my school and confessed everything. I named all of my tormentors, all of the teachers that would look away, everybody that could have helped me but didn't. I spoke about how Ichiro ruined my life. One night, I sent the video to all the major news sites and uploaded it to a bunch of websites."_ Luka explained.

 _"I lost my job because my boss thought that the rumors were true. My 'parents' found out and they were furious… My 'dad' was so angry that he didn't stop hitting me until I lost consciousness. I woke up the next morning when he brought another man with him… I- I was raped."_ She said quietly as Luka gasped in horror before she continued, _"The man paid my 'father' and then he left. He was so happy- he even told me I did a good job before he and my 'mother' left to go buy more weed. I was so disgusted with myself that I slit my wrists and purposefully nicked both my veins, I remember feeling really calm and I was holding Boo in my arms… I died when the sun set over the horizon."_ She whispered out hoarsely.

 _"After I sent the video, I broke into the school I vandalized all of the lockers of the students who would torment me, I slit my wrist so that I could write with my own blood and wrote over the desks of everyone in the classroom. For the people who would just ignore me I wrote: 'Coward. You could have saved me.' And for those who actually participated in bullying me I wrote: 'Murderer, I'll see you in hell.' Or 'Your fault, murderer.' By that point I was losing a lot of blood and I knew that people were looking for me, so I quickly threw my noose over the ceiling light and tied it up and put it around my neck. I remember standing on top of my desk as the sun started coming up… I kicked the desk out from underneath me and I stopped breathing… I remember feeling really peaceful though."_ He sighed softly before looking at Nicolasa in surprise when she started giggling.

 _"Lu-Lu, we're s-so fucked up."_ She laughed quietly, _"I think we were destined to be siblings!"_

Luka giggled at his morbid little sister, _"Yea, I think so too. Niki?"_

 _"Yea, Lu-Lu?"_ she asked curiously.

 _"I still love you and I'm still going to protect you with my life."_ He told her determinedly as he thought back furiously over how she'd explained that her first 'father' had sold her body away for drugs.

Nicolasa smiled fondly at her brother before untangling their hands and crawling out of her sleeping bag and into his, " _Me too. I love you even more than I ever loved Boo, and she was my only friend in the entire world before you. Besides, I think it's cute you're gay."_ She whispered in his ear, _"You're much too pretty to be straight."_ She stated.

Luka's face went red, " _Niki!"_ he whined, _"I'm not pretty I- I'm handsome, b-but not pretty!_ " he spluttered put indignantly causing Niki to giggle, " _You- you're so annoying…."_ He complained.

" _Yea."_ Nicolasa agreed smiling before kissing his cheek, " _But you love me anyway."_

 _"True."_ He agreed as he hugged her smaller frame to his protectively, " _Night Niki."_

 _"Night Lu-Lu."_ She whispered back as she let sleep take her at last.

 ** _~END OF FLASHBACK~_**

* * *

 **~FIVE MONTHS LATER~**

Nicolasa sat bored out of her mind in her third-grade classroom as her teacher, Senora Alma droned on about where the five oceans were as she pointed to them on her pull out map. As soon as she had entered the school the teachers, after realizing that she was Luka's younger sister, had given her the advanced placement test so she had been moved up from what was supposed to be her first year of kindergarten to her first year in third grade (they didn't feel comfortable letting a five-year-old into any of the higher levels until they saw her performing in a school setting despite the fact that intellectually she could have been placed in higher grades much like her brother).

Luka and Nicolasa had made a tentative deal with their father in which he would consider hiring them private tutors and becoming homeschooled for all subjects based on their performance in school. If their dad didn't like the way things were being done in their school (aka. problems with other students because of their age, aka. bullying, teachers treating them as if they are incompetent due to their physical age, etc.) by the December break, he agreed that he would pull them both out of mundane school.

Sighing under her breath her fingers began to play with the small ceramic birdie ocarina pendant, which her brother had lovingly picked out for her as a 'First Day of School' present for his little 'songbird.' Looking up at the board she scowled up in annoyance, she wasn't seated the farthest away from the map but for some reason, she just couldn't read the map at all, well unless she was standing directly in front of it that is.

 _"Santos!"_ the stern voice of Senora Alma, as well as the cruel giggles of her fellow classmates, broke her train of thought as she stared condescendingly down at her, _"Can you tell me the names of all five oceans?"_ she asked, trying to embarrass the five-year-old for not paying attention to her 'riveting' lesson.

Nicolasa nodded carelessly, _"Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Arctic and Antarctic Ocean's_." she said in a bland tone, showing her teacher just what she thought of her class.

Senora Alma tried and failed to hide a scowl at her perfect answer, " _Very good."_ She said stiffly before returning to her lesson.

Someone sitting behind her, most likely Vanessa Pierro, yanked on her ponytail maliciously as they began giggling amongst themselves at their teasing… Nicolasa's eyes stung bitterly with unshed tears as she bit her lower lip to keep herself from crying out. She hated school. It was, unfortunately, the same no matter what universe or continent she was on.

 _"Papi!"_ Nicolasa shouted as she ran into her father's outstretched arms, as she hurriedly left the school building, the brisk December wind not stopping her from her course.

 _"Well, hello there princessa!"_ her father said amusedly as she quickly burrowed her face into the crook of his neck, before becoming concerned at her unusual lack of response and the small wet tears he could feel trickling down his neck, _"Niki, what happened? Are you hurting?"_

Nicolasa sniffed sadly, _"Papá, I don't have to come here anymore right?"_ she asked him nervously, not moving to look at him _. "I don't like it here, the other children always pick on me and the teachers are mean to me…."_ She whispered.

Pulling her away from where she was hiding her face, her father looked at her seriously and little sadly, _"No princessa. You don't have to come here anymore."_ He promised.

Nicolasa smiled happily for the first time that day _, "Really!? Thank you Papi! Thank you_!" she squealed as she attacked her dad with hugs and kisses, not minding all of the questioning glances from the other parents and children.

 _"Come on, Niki let's go home okay?"_ he asked her gently after she'd finished singing him praises in her excitement of never having to return to the elementary school.

Nicolasa frowned in confusion, _"But don't we have to go pick up Luka now?"_

Her father sighed morosely, _"A couple of boys from the middle school were picking on your brother today and it got out of hand. I picked him up earlier today from the nurse's office."_ He explained to her gently as Nicolasa's previously confused expression turned into pure fury on behalf of her older brother.

 _"What did they do?"_ she bit out angrily as she tried to control herself from cussing, after all five-year-olds (no matter how intelligent they are) aren't supposed to know, much less use, such language.

Her father began rubbing her arms in a comforting manner, _"He had a black eye, but I already put a healing balm on it. I already pulled him out of school…. You guys were right, the mundane world doesn't know how to handle genius' like you two."_ He said sheepishly before looking at her apologetically, _"I'm sorry that I put you guys through that."_

Nicolasa smiled sadly, " _It's okay Papi. You didn't know."_

Then again it wasn't just the mundane world that didn't know how to react to unknowns. It was all humans. After all as a species, humans didn't like what they could not understand... even if they were humans too.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Hey! So it's been a while since I posted the first chapter and I figured that the 10 people who are following (and 6 favorites) this story were due another one!**

 **I really want to thank _Cassiopea-D-Orion_** **for being the only person to review this fic so far! It means a lot to me that you deemed it worth a review! I'm sorry if it made you cry... but at the same time I'm not sorry :)) Oh, and thank you for the compliment! I was very nervous about posting this but your review made me feel a lot better about my decision. This fic is very different from my previous work and I hope that it reflects how much I've grown!**

 **If anyone reading this likes One Piece, I've just uploaded chapter 17 of _My Second Chance: Gift from Fate_ (OC insert) today as well. Be sure to check that out. It's my baby... even if the first two chapters are a bit shitty! **

**_Warning:_**

 ** _This story is going to be a bit more triggering and dark than my other fics because of the subject matter revolving around death, depression, self-worth issues, suicide, etc. If anyone out there is suffering from depression or having suicidal thoughts, this story may not be for you. And that's okay. I wrote this during a very dark period in my life. I had a note written and everything, but I got the help I needed and here I am a year later posting this. If anyone reading this needs someone to talk to or hash out their feelings with, feel free to message me. Writing this fic was extremely therapeutic for me and I hope that it can touch/impact other people as it has to me._**

* * *

 **Words: 4932 ( _Approximately)_**

 **FAV/FOLLOW/REVIEW**

 **Love, Mara-Chan (o l l o)**


	3. Chapter 3:Birthday's&GrowingOlder(pt2)

Chapter 3: Birthday's and Growing Older (pt.2)

* * *

"Sup." = English

' _Hi…' = Thought_

 _"Hey." = Spanish_

 _ _"_ What's up!?" = Japanese_

 **~~'How's it going?'~~ = Vision**

* * *

 **~THREE YEARS LATER~**

The last three years had gone by quickly for the small family. Nicolasa and Luka had (both) mastered the piano, acoustic guitar, ocarina and _cuatro_ and were each learning how to play a fourth instrument on the side for their own enjoyment. Their father, in honor of their mother, had also enrolled them in _flamenco_ classes when Nicolasa was four… and despite their initial dislike for dancing (especially in public or in front of an audience), the duo was advancing well in their lessons, especially after they dropped out of mundane schooling since they had more time to focus on their individual talents.

The siblings had also caught up to where they had originally left off in mundane schooling (as in where they had left off before they… well died) and were now fluent in both Japanese and English. Even their dad had picked up on the languages after they had finally convinced him, after years of begging, to let them attend a magic school in Japan or in England as opposed to the more local Spaniard boarding school. The siblings were set onto surrounding themselves in a culture with their old native tongues respectively. Nicolasa had found learning Japanese to be a rather interesting past-time, even if she still struggled somewhat with reading and writing the language. However, knowing Spanish had actually helped her learn the Asiatic language since the way Japanese words are pronounced sound very similar to the way Spanish is spoken. Her brother had initially struggled with English, but their love for music helped win that battle. Luka and Nicolasa learned how to play and sing various songs in English together until Luka's pronunciation was perfect.

Her brother was going to be attending the _Mahō to Majutsu no Gakkō_ (or the School of Magic and Witchcraft/Wizardry) in Kyoto Japan that Spring (since school in Japan starts in April as opposed to September) and he was beyond excited to start learning about magic in an actual school environment, despite his reservations about leaving his sister behind as well as having to be alone to deal with the 'banshee screams,' as he once described it to her.

Luka's punishment for committing suicide involved hearing the horrific pain-filled screams of people who were being faced with their own mortality (hence the morbid 'pet' name 'banshee screams' that he had for the unique… ability) whenever he had the misfortune to be around someone who was going to die soon. The only trigger of his 'gift,' was the person in question impending death. Depending on how traumatic the persons' death would be he would receive a blurry vision of the person's untimely demise when he was sleeping, but not where or when so he wouldn't be able to prevent anything. It had manifested when he turned six years old and the first time he'd heard the terrifying screams Luka had folded into himself and screamed right with them in fright, scaring their father as well their father's (now) _late_ boss. The man had suffered from a terrible accident involving run-away buldgers at a Quidditch tournament. It was needless to say that Luka _hated_ the flying sport. Nicolasa couldn't fault him for that.

When their father realized that Luka was essentially seeing visions (of people dying) he began researching his beloved Angela's family tree to see if such a _gift_ had ever popped up before in her bloodline (since he already knew that seer blood did not run through his), it had. Towards the beginning of the Nevada Family Tree there had been a lot of seers, specifically those geared towards predictions of death or extreme calamity, before they eventually died out or lost the gift over time. It was just misfortunate that the 'gift' had to reemerge in his children.

Of course, Nicolasa knew that what their father was not aware of (nor would he _ever_ be) was that this was the exchange, aka. punishment, Luka had to pay for killing himself in his first life and being reincarnated in this one. It seemed that perhaps their ancestors were as fucked up mentally as Nicolasa and Luka were that there seemed to have been a large cropping of cursed reincarnated individuals, so much so that the ability was deemed a gift in their family. It was also weirdly comforting in a way to know that others who had committed the same sin they had made lives for themselves.

Later on, just like her Nana had forewarned her before she was reborn during those brief weird moments when she'd been a weird ghost floating around in her old bedroom, Nicolasa too came into her 'gift' when she was six years old like her brother had. Her seer-like abilities only allowed her to see a person's death if it was going to be horrific or unnatural as well as the events that led up to it. The 'gift' was unfortunately triggered by touch and sight. In other words, Nicolasa had to be looking at the person in the eyes while having skin on skin contact (like holding hands) for her to see their future/death. Occasionally she was able to catch a glimpse of the person's future if she just looked them in their eyes. As a result, she tended to generally avoid people deemed to die in a few short years, it just really wasn't worth the heartache in her opinion. The first time Nicolasa would see the events of a person's death, it would be an involuntary vision that she would have to see from the beginning to the end, and if the person's death was particularly horrible or unjustified, she would lose control over her body and prophesize it on the spot. Fortunately, that had only ever happened the first time she ever came in contact with the person, after that it wouldn't matter if she had contact with that person again (basically if she wasn't specifically looking for their impending death she didn't ever have to see it again).

Her father had been devastated to learn that both of his children's innocence was going to be tarnished before they were even into their double digits, and as a result, he had become even more overprotective of them. Which, incidentally, was the main reason that it had been so difficult for the siblings to convince him to let them both go abroad for their magical schooling. In the end, they had been able to convince their father by reminding him that they couldn't live in fear of their abilities acting up for the rest of their lives, people died every day and the two of them needed to be able to cope with their 'gifts' on their own because their father wasn't always going to be there to shelter them from the ugly truth.

Nicolasa's fingers moved with a graceful ease over the holes of the first ocarina that had ever been given to her, Luka had helped her recreate a beautiful song called 'Sadness and Sorrow' that had been featured in her brother's favorite anime (' _I think it was called Naruto….'_ she pondered momentarily before dismissing it from her mind altogether), Luka accompanied her by gently strumming his acoustic guitar beside her on the bench of the sleek black grand piano. For once they didn't have any lessons to attend to, as it was the weekend, and they had decided to spend their time softly playing music together in the hall. As they confidently finished one of their favorite pieces, they could hear the sound of shuffling feet and familiar voices nearing their peaceful sanctuary.

" _Kids, you're Aunt and Uncle are here!"_ their father cheerfully called as they entered the hall.

Her Aunt Juliana was carrying their youngest cousin, Mateo, who was only a couple of months old as their Uncle Alexander held their youngest daughter Sofía (who had recently turned three).

" _Uncle_!" a young and slightly high-pitched voice said indigently, " _We're_ _here_ _too!_ " their cousin Luciana (six years old) protested as she dragged her younger brother, Diego (five years old), behind her.

" _Jeje, we can see that Cia."_ Nicolasa teased her cousin who smirked back at her in response, it was a completely adorable expression to see on the fair-haired six-year-old. Smirks generally didn't impart the emotion intended behind them when they were being given by children. Not that Nicolasa would ever inform her cousin of that.

 _"Really? That's like a miracle since you and Luka can't tell that anyone else exists when you start playing music."_ She taunted playfully as she 'pompously' stuck her nose in the air and 'looked down' upon them.

Luka's right hand grasped his shirt tightly over his chest, _"Ooo, ouch Cia. That hurt right here."_ He said dramatically as he 'clutched his heart,' prompting the adults to roll their eyes at their antics despite the smiles adorning their faces.

The cousins had always had this strange playful way of greeting each other after they hadn't seen one another in a while, and considering that the Acosta family (the family Aunt Juliana, who was their dad's, Ricardo's, beloved younger sister, had married into) had just returned from their month-long vacation to the Caribbean Isles… their form of playful bantering had been long overdue.

" _Ah, I'm glad that my words still hold such strong sway over you, cousin."_ Luciana said snottily as she upturned her nose to them once more. The four of them, including Diego even though he'd just watched on stoically beside his sister, exchanged amused glances before they began laughing uproariously.

" _Haa_ ," Nicolasa sighed as she wiped an amused tear from her eye, " _Really, how was the Caribbean Cia, Diego? Did you guys have a lot of fun?"_ she asked honestly as she turned her attention to Diego. He was a rather shy boy, taking after his father unlike his older sister who took after their exuberant mother, and the siblings had always made it their duty to make sure that he never felt excluded from their interactions.

Diego smiled shyly up to her, " _It was good. We had a lot of fun swimming on the beaches."_ He said softly.

Luka smiled gently at the younger boy, " _I'm glad…"_

" _Children_ ," Aunt Juliana interrupted, " _Before you guys start talking more about the vacation, I was wondering if could keep an eye on Mateo and Sofía for us while we talk in the parlor."_ She asked them while looking at Luka and Nicolasa imploringly (as despite the fact that they were children as well, all of their family knew that they were mentally a lot more mature than they often let on in front of their cousins).

" _Of course, Tia."_ Nicolasa responded gently while Luka nodded understandingly, as Uncle Alexander smiled at them gratefully before letting a squirming Sofía down onto the floor, while her Aunt transfigured a bassinet to put Mateo into as the cousins all got comfortable on the plush carpet on the ground.

 _"Thank you my darlings."_ She said with a small smile as the three adults move to the parlor.

 _"Anyway… Did you guys end up going to those pirate tourist spots we told you about?"_ Luka asked their cousins excitedly acting like his physical age as he practically vibrated in anticipation of their answer.

 _"Yes! They were so cool!"_ Luciana raved joyfully as Sofía made herself comfortable on Luka's lap, much to Nicolasa's amusement.

 _"Cia, don't shout so loud. You might scare Mateo."_ Nicolasa chastised half-heartedly before smiling happily at Luciana, _"I'm glad you enjoyed it, I know we did when we visited last year."_ She said referring to their own vacation to the Caribbean the previous year.

The two siblings had spent their entire time at the infamous pirate sites trying to reenact various scenes from the first 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movie. Briefly sharing a secret smile with her older brother, the two turned back to their cousins as Diego began to shyly regale them of the hilarious tale of Luciana accidentally getting herself entangled with a fisherman's net after falling off the docks when she thought she'd spotted a mermaid in the water.

* * *

 **~TWO YEARS AND SEVEN MONTHS LATER~**

Today was September 1st …. In other words, today was going to be her first day of attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hogwarts was the closest English-speaking school to Spain, so it had been officially decided the year previously that this was going to be the institution she was going to be attending. Her father had hopelessly tried to re-convince her to attend the institution available in Spain or at least attend the same school Luka was in for months before giving in to her wishes. Nicolasa had originally tried convincing her father to let her attend a magic school in the United States (after all she had been an American in her first life), like Salem's School of Witchcraft or it's most famous counterpart Ilvermony… but her father had drawn the line at having his precious little baby girl all the way across the Atlantic Ocean.

Nicolasa looked at the impressive red steam train in the station as children and teens of all ages ran around excitedly as families shared their-temporary-last moments together before the Yule Holidays. A gentle calloused hand rested on her head forcing her to look up at her kindhearted father… Swallowing a lump in her throat she smiled shakily up at him, it was just the two of them at the station today. Luka had already started his second year at _Mahō to Majutsu no Gakkō _back in April and wasn't able to send her off like he had originally wanted to, but the siblings (per usual) had been exchanging letters back and forth non-stop since his departure. She had also already exchanged her farewells with her Aunt and three Uncles as well as with her younger cousins earlier that morning at home, so they had not accompanied the two Santo's to the train station. Something that Nicolasa was grateful for since she was positive her Aunt Juliana and Luciana would have made a huge spectacle at the train station otherwise. Not that the two hadn't done so during their goodbyes at home. Her poor Uncle Alexander had looked embarrassed enough this morning.

 _"Well princessa,"_ her father said encouragingly, _"Let's get you settled, yes?"_ he smiled crookedly at her while guiding her towards the train.

Smiling hesitantly back up at him Nicolasa nodded, " _Okay Papi…"_ she muttered nervously as she subconsciously tightened her grip on the strap of her new small enchanted saddlebag.

Her father had charmed the brown leather trunk that would be loyally serving her for the next seven years to float as he 'carried' it onto the train and into the nearest empty compartment to the exit before placing it delicately onto the rack above her seat.

His blueish grey eyes were incredibly warm as he stared lovingly at her and rubbed Nicolasa's arm comfortingly as he innately picked up on her ever-growing anxiety, _"I'm going to miss you my sweet princessa. The house is definitely going to feel empty without you and Luka there to keep me company."_ He confessed to her quietly.

Nicolasa felt her eyes begin to burn with unshed tears as she buried her face into her father's shirt, _"I'm really going to miss you too Papi…"_

Her father rubbed her back gently as he hugged her small frame tightly, _"It won't be too long right, just four months until the Yule Holidays and you two crazies will be back in the house driving me insane…"_ he teased as she giggled pulling her face away from where she'd been burrowing it in to his shirt. _"Ahh, I'm really going to miss you aren't I?"_ he asked in false sarcasm.

 _"Yup!"_ she agreed mischievously, playing along to his rouse, as the train whistled warningly in the background before looking up at him anxiously at the impending departure, "Papi?"

"Hmm?" he questioned as he played with a long lock of her hair, not looking at all concerned with their dwindling time.

Lifting her arms up, she mimicked a toddler and muttered an embarrassed, _"Up."_

He looked at her in surprise, Nicolasa had always been an independent child (despite the fact that she had adored cuddling) and hadn't asked to be lifted in years, before quickly complying as he lifted her up into his arms. Nicolasa wrapped her arms around his neck lovingly and kissed his cheek, ignoring the ticklish stubble prickling her sensitive skin, " _I love you, Papi… and I'll miss you too…"_ she whispered before burying her face into the crook of his neck one more time.

She heard him breathe in shakily as he hugged her tightly to him before he determinedly set her down onto the ground, _"Your mom would be so proud of you…"_ he said lovingly as he gazed down at her contemplatively as the train whistled warningly one last time, before his expression turned more mischievous, _"Alright princessa, it's time for me to get off. I'll see you soon, okay? Don't forget to send me a bunch of letters!"_ he demanded playfully as he left the compartment making her giggle nervously at his childish antics.

Sitting by the window, Nicolasa watched her father get down from the train and move onto the platform below her. Opening the window as fast as she could, she called out as the train began to slowly pull out of the station, _"Bye Papi! Expect a letter soon!"_

He smiled warmly up at her and waved his right hand 'goodbye.' Nicolasa watched longingly as the platform disappeared into the distance before sighing and turning her attention onto her bag. It had been a custom made gift from her father, after all she was starting a new chapter in her life by going to Hogwarts and her magical education. The bag had been charmed to be endless and light by the store it had been purchased from, she absolutely loved it. Nicolasa knew that theoretically, she could have just put her trunk inside of her bag, but she hadn't really wanted to draw attention to herself by arriving at the station without a trunk. Currently, inside of the saddlebag, she had put in various precious knick-knacks that she'd felt uncomfortable leaving in her trunk. This included the uniform she'd be changing into later in the day as well as her beloved acoustic guitar and her various ocarinas (she would never have been able to leave them behind). She peered inside and moved her uniform out of her way and began rifling through it for her private Journal.

She and Luka had both received Journals from their Uncle German (their dad's older brother and head of the family) shortly after their 'gifts' were discovered. They were supposed to be a therapeutic sort of gift, given to them so that they would write down all of their feelings/visions/dreams. And while it was primarily used for that purpose (since actually writing them down, as well as acknowledging the horrible visions Nicolasa received helped her come to terms with them better and push them out of her mind for some well-deserved peace) they were also used to write down stories (like scenes from their all-time favorite movies, for example, the siblings were both big-huge-fans of the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' franchise and had written down as many accurate scenes as they could remember) from their past lives and to store any art that they drew inside its pages, they also used the Journals to store the 'original' music that they had composed and brought to life over the years. The Journals had been specially charmed by their Uncle so that only they could open their respective journals and they were also protected from getting stolen, damaged, being burned or ripped/destroyed.

Kicking off her dark green flip flops she delicately curled her legs underneath her matching forest green gypsy skirt; she bent down quickly and picked up her favorite form of rubber foot-wear and placed them on the seat beside her before pulling the cover of her Journal open. Flipping languidly through the pages she paused in front of a quick sketch she'd drawn of her small family including her brother's as well as her father's familiars, it was an incomplete piece, but it wasn't half-bad. Nodding resolutely to herself she pulled out the special drawing pencils that her cousin Luciana had gifted her and began working on it. Having lost herself in her drawing, Nicolasa hadn't noticed when the compartment door opened until the figure standing at the doorway cleared his throat to gain her attention.

Looking up at the person responsible for the sound, Nicolasa studied the ashen face of the black-haired child, all the while being careful not to look him directly in the eyes, staring expectantly back at her as he studied her unabashedly in return. He sneered at her slightly before asking, "Is it alright if we sit here?" The boy was wearing a set of black slacks that had been adjusted to his size and a plain long-sleeved white button-up shirt under a faded light green sweater vest and a pair of worn dress shoes, overall the boy practically screamed he was less fortunate than she was… and that was just based on her observation on his choice of outfit. His posture, while impeccable in the sense where he was standing straight with his shoulders pulled back perfectly like most pureblood children seemed to carry themselves when they were attending important events with their families, was slightly off… his shoulders still looked as if he carried the weight of the world upon them and no one had ever stopped to help alleviate that weight.

His slightly malnourished frame gave away that he'd had to skip more than a few meals in his life, reminding Nicolasa of her own painful past; the boy's nose was crooked, showing that it had been broken before and it either hadn't been set correctly or hadn't been corrected the moment it had been broken. Nicolasa would bet the small ceramic birdie ocarina pendant hanging from her neck, that hidden beneath his long-sleeved shirt, the boy had hidden from the world bruises of different sizes imparted on him by his 'loving' guardians… After all, a former victim of abuse would always be able to recognize a fellow survivor and victim.

Nicolasa peered at him curiously behind the cover of her Journal as she curled into herself even more warily, "Hmm, sure. I do not mind." She said with an accent belaying her foreignness, gesturing to the seat across from her.

The boy nodded stiffly and looked down the hallway, "Lily, I've found us a compartment!" he called before moving to sit at the gestured seat.

"Coming!" the grateful voice of a young girl, no doubt their age, responded relieved as she quickly made her way to the compartment and offered Nicolasa a small strained smile, "Thank you for letting us sit here, I'm Lily Evans and this is my best friend Severus Snape." She introduced as she gingerly sat down beside the sullen-looking boy.

Nicolasa stared at the duo unashamedly, they were just so different from one another; the girl, Lily Evans, was wearing a light cotton summer dress with white sandals and had beautiful red hair, not dull orange locks like she'd had in her first life, but honest to God beautiful straight red locks of hair that framed her peach-colored skin and popped against her dress. She wasn't malnourished in any shape or form like her friend Snape was and had natural rosy cheeks full of life as she looked at her expectantly... And despite the fact that the smile she'd given her was strained, it was still a beautiful one that was adorned by cute little dimples… she had a delicate pert nose that twitched slightly when she smiled and her eyes were a beautiful emerald gree-

 **~~'Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead-' an older, terrified looking version of the eleven-year-old in front of her pleaded brokenly as she shielded a scared black-haired baby sitting up in a crib behind her.**

 **'This is my last warning-' a cruel voice growled impatiently as a man with an absolutely terrifying visage approached her and the child she was protecting menacingly.**

 **'Not Harry! Please… have mercy… Not Harry! Please- I'll do anythi-' the older Lily pleaded brokenly before she was cut off by a flash of green light as the unforgivable curse was cast angrily by her murderer.~~**

Nicolasa gasped almost inaudibly before tearing her gaze away from the girl's beautiful -resigned- eyes, and licking her dry lips, "I- I am Nicolasa Santos." She said quietly as her accent became more pronounced with her anxiety. The innocent-looking little girl in front of her was going to die in a few short years, and by the looks of it, the child (most likely her offspring) was going to die as well at the same hands of that- that horrifying snake-man freak… she would most definitely be recording the small glimpse she'd uncovered into her Journal the moment she could without looking rude.

Evans didn't seem to notice Nicolasa's sudden aversion of looking into her eyes, as the red head's smile lost some of its tenseness at her nervous introduction, "That's a very pretty name; I hope you don't mind me asking but are you foreign by any chance?" she asked in open curiosity.

Nicolasa started playing with one of her dark locks of hair nervously, "Oh, um- yes, I am. I was born in Espania. I wanted to go to an English-speaking school of magic, so my Papi enrolled me here in Hogwarts." She explained as she quickly peered outside of the window, she must have been working on her family portrait a lot longer than she had originally expected because the sun was already starting its descent on the horizon, letting her know that they would-fortunately-be arriving at Hogwarts in one-two hours.

"Oh, really! How fascinating! I'm a muggle-born witch myself, the first of my family. In fact, I didn't even know magic existed before I met Severus, he was the one who told me that I was a witch and that magic was actually real… not that I had believed him at first." Evans said chirpily, her previous frustrated mood disappearing.

Nicolasa blinked at the unfamiliar word, 'Muggle-born? What on earth is that? Is she talking about being a first-generation witch?' she wondered, but before she could ask her question she was cut off by Snape.

"Lily, you really shouldn't go around introducing yourself as a muggle-born." He chastised concernedly.

Evans narrowed her eyes angrily, "Why shouldn't I Severus?" she asked frostily, her voice practically dripping displeasure. The redhead's sudden mood swings were really starting to make Nicolasa's head spin…

Snape huffed in frustration, obviously, this wasn't the first time the two friends had this conversation before, "I told you, Lily, that not everyone is as accepting of muggle-borns, I just don't want you to get hurt or in trouble with older and more prejudiced students. The students who are usually intolerant are from older and influential families… I'm just trying to look out for you." He explained. Evans' face softened at his explanation as Nicolasa looked on in interest. She'd never really had a friend before in either life (Luka, as well as her younger cousins, didn't really count since they were family members and they all had grown up together as a result of that) so watching their dynamic play out was rather fascinating for her observe.

"Oh, Sev… I know that you're just worried, but I really can take care of myself. Besides, I want people here to like me for myself, not for the 'quality of my blood.' Real friends like you, wouldn't care if I was a muggle-born, halfblood, or pureblood…" Lily said softly while touching the slightly taller boys' shoulder gently.

Snape nodded somewhat disbelievingly, but let it go in order to avoid any more conflict on the matter, "If you say so, Lily."

Evans nodded happily, "I'm going to the loo, I'll see you guys in a bit." She told them while shooting them a smile as she left the compartment.

As soon as Evans shut the compartment door the two remaining students-to-be stared at one another. Snape's eyes were obsidian, as dark and shadowed just as how Nicolasa assumed his childhood to be-

 **~~ 'You've been a good and faithful servant, Severus, but only I can live forever.' The same cruel voice that had ended Evans' life hissed as he stared at the much older, weathered down version of Snape… It didn't look like the years to follow were going to be any kinder to the poor boy.**

 **'My Lor-' Snape began asking, as his eyes clouded in fear, before being cut off brutally when the snake-man sent him flying into the wall with a flick of his wand.**

 **Calmly the man hissed, 'Nagini kill.'**

 **Nicolasa froze in terror as one of the biggest snakes she'd ever seen launched itself viciously at Snape various times as it struck his neck, pumping its victim with venom. Blood gushed down the dying man's throat at a horrifying pace as Snape struggled to breathe. His eyes began to glaze over with pain. Nicolasa heard a door open and footsteps rapidly approach the suffering man.~~**

Nicolasa's heart jumped in her throat, flinching slightly at the vicious vision she'd witness. Looking away from the confused and slightly perturbed boy in front of her she quickly flipped her journal to a clean page, deciding to forgo subtlety and just jot down the two visions as quickly as possible. Something was wrong, she could accept the fact that the unfortunate childhood friends were destined to die at the hands of the same person, no matter how unlikely that coincidence was… but what the terrifying snake-man-creature-thing said was unsettling….. **'You've been a good and faithful servant, but only I can live forever,'** it sounded beyond ominous… after all death was an inevitable certainty of life, and she'd, unfortunately, witnessed enough of it so far in both of her lives to believe so.

Unanimously deciding that she would be a major fool for not scribing down both of the partial visions of her peers demise while they were still fresh in her mind she quickly jotted them down, labeling which prophecy was entitled to them respectively, along with a small bio of what she had learned about the two childhood friends in the short amount of time that she had been observing the pair. She also labeled a page for the snake-man that had ended their lives, sensing that this probably wasn't going to be the last time that he (it?) would ever star in her visions. Her pencil flew across the pace in a vicious flurry as her heart continued to pump fear-induced adrenalin into her veins, after finishing, Nicolasa decided that it would be for the best if she never made contact with the duo again.

' _It's not worth the heartache.'_ She chanted in her mind like a mantra. Her glazed eyes not really seeing the page in front of her anymore.

This was definitely not the first time she had ever witnessed the brutal demise of innocent people, and she knew that it definitely would not be the last, when it came down to it there was very little she could do to save their lives. Everyone dies in the end. It was a fact of life; she could try to prolong the inevitable, but the last time she'd tried to save the life of someone who was going to suffer from a painful death…she had only made it worse. The poor kid was beaten even more terribly by his father than he originally had been in the vision before he eventually succumbed to his wounds and passed away alone. Completely broken in his basement.

Nicolasa knew she was being selfish… but she didn't want to risk making anyone's death more painful than it really needed to be… Besides she didn't think that she could ever handle having that sort of guilt of having failed someone so intimately, someone who had suffered like her, again.

It had been heart-shattering for her to discover after the weekend that she'd failed to help the sweet, small brown-eyed boy who had once sat beside her in mundane school as a child. He'd suffered because of her.

No one.

No one would ever suffer because she intervened again.

Everyone dies in the end.

* * *

 **5439 Words**

* * *

 **This chapter is dedicated to _MissyStells_ and their wonderful review! Thank you very much! It made my day!**

* * *

 **FALLOW/FAV/REVIEW**


	4. Chapter 4:The Sorting and the First Year

Chapter 4: The Sorting and the First Year

* * *

"Sup." = English

 _'Hi…' = Thought_

 _"Hey." = Spanish_

 _"What's up!?" = Japanese_

 **~~'How's it going?'~~ = Vision**

* * *

The rest of the train ride had gone by quickly and quietly, Evans had ended up meeting a bunch of other first-year girls on her way back from the loo and had taken almost an entire hour to come back to the compartment, much to Snape's silent ire. Thankfully, they had been informed by the conductor that they would be arriving at Hogwarts shortly, so there hadn't been much conversation after that. The duo had then decided to leave since they had to go retrieve their uniforms and change, which were still in the original compartment that they'd had been sitting in (apparently, they had left because there were a couple of jerks sitting in there that had been making rude and completely unnecessary comments to Snape).

As soon as the two friends had left, Nicolasa changed into the mandatory school robes in a peaceful manner, happy to have her solitude once more. She left her saddlebag on by hiding it underneath her cloak while her birdie ocarina still hung elegantly around her neck (she refused to take it off despite it being against the rules), before disembarking the train. It was completely chaotic. There were older students laughing and shouting over each other to be heard by their friends as their younger counterparts stumbled around in utter confusion.

"Firs' ye'rs! Over 'ere!" a deep booming voice shouted above the chaos.

Nicolasa wove through the crowd towards where the voice was coming from and she couldn't help but stare in awe at the huge man once she reached him. He appeared to be a bit taller than eleven feet, inwardly Nicolasa concurred that the man had to be at least part giant to be so huge naturally, he had crazy wild brown hair and an extremely bushy beard to match his grizzly appearance. His clothes seemed to be made of various animal hides, and she couldn't help but feel relieved when she glanced into his warm black eyes and didn't immediately find herself plunged into another vision.

"No mor' than fer to a boat!" he instructed, gesturing to the rickety boats with his lantern as various first years began cautiously boarding the precarious little boats.

Someone shoved her from behind in frustration, "Move, you blubbering buffoon." An aristocratic boy sneered cruelly as a couple of high-class looking boys and girls giggled at her misfortune.

Ducking her head in submission she stuttered an apology and moved quickly to one of the boats with an empty seat, as she tried to ignore the cruel laughter behind her. Children would be cruel no matter where she went.

Nicolasa clutched her birdie ocarina as if it were a lifeline as the boats started moving on their own over the Black Lake, they had to travel under an opening in the rocks and through a thick curtain of ivy before they finally caught a glimpse of the castle. She couldn't have withheld her gasp even if she tried, Hogwarts was magnificent. The majority of the massive castle was built upon a rocky cliff side beside the lake, she was able to make out the makings of what appeared to be a forest surrounding Hogwarts on the other side. She could see smoke coming out of a small cottage that was stationed close by to the castle that she assumed belonged to the groundskeeper.

As soon as they made it to the harbor, she quickly disembarked the rocking boat and began following the large half-giant up the stairs and through the entrance. Nicolasa admired her surroundings curiously as they were led up three short flight of steps to a cross looking woman standing in front of a set of wide closed double-doors.

The woman was the epitome of a scholar; her posture was stiff and her gaze demanded the respect of all of the first years (it was only a bonus in her opinion that looking into the woman's piercing blue-green eyes did not cause her to envision anything). Upon her head, she was wearing a crooked pointed black hat and wore a stylish plain black robe. Inwardly, Nicolasa decided not to get on this particular Professor's bad side.

"Welcome to Hogwarts! I am Professor McGonagall " she greeted them with a Scottish lilt in her voice, "you must be sorted into your houses now. They are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin." She explained seriously, "Now while you're students here your houses will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you points, and your rule-breaking will lose points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the House Cup. The sorting ceremony will begin momentarily."

The serious woman poked her head through the doors and informed the rest of the school that they (the first years) had arrived and that the sorting could commence.

"Now in a few moments you will pass through these doors and join your classmates, but before you can," turning back to them, Professor McGonagall commanded, "Please form two straight lines and follow me in."

Nicolasa quickly positioned herself into the line on the Professor's left, behind a boy with almost shoulder-length curly brown hair. She began fiddling with her ceramic ocarina again nervously as the doors opened wide and Professor McGonagall led them into the Great Hall. All of the older students turned to look at them curiously as they marched between the two tables towards the center of the room. The ceiling had been charmed to portray the actual sky making it appear as if there was no ceiling while hundreds of candles hovered above the tables lighting the room spectacularly. The strict Professor climbed up the two steps elevating the teachers' designated eating area and stood beside a stool with an old pointed hat placed upon it. She gestured for the group to stop in front of her as they all piled up into an undefined blob before her once more.

"Now," the stern voice of the female Professor called out, "before the sorting begins, Professor Dumbledore would like to say a few words."

Nicolasa looked at the old wizard as he stood stoically up from where he was sitting at the center of the teachers' table, he had one of the longest beards she'd ever seen and his hair was as white as snow, "I have a few starter term notices I wish to announce. For the first years please note that the dark forest is strictly forbidden for all students also our caretaker Mr. Filch would like to remind you that there is no use of magic permitted in the hallways." Professor Dumbledore nodded to Minerva to continue before he sat down expectantly.

The female Professor turned back to look at them, "When I call your name you will come forth, I shall place the sorting hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses." She instructed as she pulled a roll of parchment from underneath her sleeve, "Bertram Aubrey."

A nervous-looking first-year boy hesitantly stepped out from the crowd and sat gingerly on the stool as the Professor placed the ancient-looking hat upon his head. Nicolasa chewed on her inner lip to keep an exclamation of surprise from escaping her when the hat suddenly shouted Ravenclaw. The blue and silver table broke out into cheers as Aubrey quickly found a seat with his new housemates.

"Reginald Avery."

The black-haired boy that had shoved her when they were boarding the boats walked up confidentially to the stool and sat down prestigiously as the hat was placed on his head. It only took a few moments for the seam in front of the hat to rip itself open once more and shout, "Better be… Slytherin!"

The table with the green-colored ties started clapping politely as the boy joined their table.

Nicolasa watched the rest of the sorting in contemplation as she waited to be called up, she even clapped politely when Evans was sorted into Gryffindor.

"Nicolasa Santos." Professor McGonagall's stern voice called out, swallowing the lodge that had gotten stuck in her throat she nervously walked up to the stool and sat stiffly as the Professor placed the hat on her head.

 _'Hmm, I see…'_ the deep voice of the Sorting Hat ranged through her mind, nearly making her jump in fright, ' _What an interesting mind, a reincarnation with a full conscious of her past life…. And what's this! You've been blessed with a 'gift!'_

 _'It's more like a curse.'_ Nicolasa thought back.

The hat chuckled lowly, ' _Yes, I can see how one would see it that way… Now where to put you? You have a strong mind and a passion for reading and learning new things… but that comes second before your loyalty to those whom you deem fit to receive it, hmm… you are as hardworking as any Hufflepuff, but... that's not where you belong. No your darkness and aversion to people prevent you from opening up to others easily, you'd become an outcast quite quickly…. Ah, but my dear, you are brave are you not?' he asked her rhetorically, 'You could have easily hidden yourself from the rest of the world to prevent anyone from utilizing you for your gift, but you did not… While you won't stand for yourself, you'll stand up for others… Yes, yes… I know where to put you…'_

He called out loud, " _Better be Gryffindor!_ " he announced as the red and gold table started clapping for their newest member as the strict Professor took the Sorting Hat off her head and called out the next name. Nicolasa smiled happily as she made her way down the two steps and joined the rest of her housemates as they congratulated her on her sorting. The rest of the sorting passed in the same fashion and at the end of it, Professor Dumbledore finally announced for the feast to begin.

Food appeared instantaneously, covering the long tables completely. Nicolasa watched passively as students began to fill their plates with their favorite meals and as groups of friends began to chat among themselves happily. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied Evans talking to the two other girls that had been sorted into Gryffindor, Alice O'Donnell and Mary MacDonald; she also saw that the group of boys in her year were already chatting amiably together. Despite the fact that Nicolasa had found herself left out of any of the groups, she couldn't help but smile at the camaraderie amongst her peers… Besides she'd always been more of introverted/solitary person. She would make friends later.

When they were finished eating the Perfects led them expertly to the Gryffindor Common Rooms, personally Nicolasa could barely remember what the Perfects had said in their small 'Welcome to Gryffindor!' speech… she was just too exhausted from a day full of traveling, in fact, she considered herself lucky to even remember what the password _was_ to enter the Common Rooms the next morning.

* * *

 **~ONE AND HALF MONTHS LATER~**

Nicolasa discovered that Hogwarts was everything she had expected it to be and then some… Based on her previous experience of going to school, these observations were an accumulation on both of her lives, she had already derived a _long_ time ago that children were cruel. It was a fact. They liked- no needed to make themselves _feel_ as if they are more than what they are, to make themselves more important by putting down others that are preconceived as _weak_ in their eyes. (It was beyond stupid in her opinion, but what was she going to do?).

She also discovered that the majority of the Slytherin purebloods were fanatics about blood purity, they carried themselves arrogantly while they snubbed anyone whom they believed wasn't 'pure' enough. Nicolasa also learned that she absolutely _hated_ Reginald Avery, he was a jerk of massive proportions that was unfortunately in her year group. Making it hard to avoid the berk before, after and during their shared lessons. He and his friends, who were also extraordinary assholes on their own, had assumed from her meek demeanor when they'd first encountered her at the train station that she was a first-generation witch or a muggle-born (as she learned what they were called/referred to in England).

They took great pleasure in sneering down at her and pulling mean tricks against her, they often would whisper or proclaim 'mudblood' superiorly when they believed that they could get away with it. Ironically, Nicolasa was far from being a first-generation witch; the Santos were the third oldest dated family from Spain (their family tree even extended all the way back to before the arrival of Merlin and this was even without taking her mother's family into account, which was older than her Papi's before they died out), they even had ties to the monarchy of Spain before it fell out of use and turned into a democratic Ministry… it appeared to her that the British pureblood community either didn't educate their children as well as they did back home. She had known of the important and significant pureblood families from other countries for years, it was either ignorance or the children themselves attending Hogwarts were stupid beyond compare.

(Once it was officially decided that she would be attending Hogwarts her tutors had tested her knowledge of the ancient houses residing on the isle. Nicolasa could name all of them and describe what they are most known for as well as their magical orientations in under fifteen minutes).

She also quickly decided that she wouldn't say anything… After all they were the ones burning bridges with an influential family (whom had strong ties to _all_ of the other Spanish purebloods. Besides, Nicolasa hadn't been raised to put much priority in the status of blood. In Spain, most people didn't care for blood status much or whether or not you came from an _ancient_ family. Sure it was a prestigious _plus_ , but in the end... you either had magic or you did not.

In Spain, they had also discovered that the union between a first-generation wizards/witches with a pureblood wizard/witch often resulted in having _very_ powerful offspring. Various studies had shown that interbreeding amongst the pureblood families of Spain would have eventually resulted in the stagnation of their family lines. Their magic would have gotten weaker and weaker until the family died off and branched off into squibs, which incidentally were the ancestors of first-generation wizards/witches in the first place.

Nicolasa sighed as her quill flew across the parchment in front of her before it stopped as she peered back into her Charms textbook. She was currently writing an essay about the theory behind the levitation charm, _wingardium leviosa_ , it was due Thursday so she only had two more days to complete it. Luckily, due to being used to completing homework and writing complex essays because of the tutoring she had received at home as well as the copious amounts of schoolwork she was tasked with as a high school student in her last life, Nicolasa was already used to the taxing regime of school work that some of her other peers were still coping with. It appeared that the majority of the students struggled at balancing themselves between homework and leisure at first, since they weren't used to doing so many 'assignments.' In comparison to the college-level high school essays she had to complete at home, Hogwarts homework was a cakewalk.

She already knew how to study and research, Nicolasa also had solid theory behind her form of notetaking and being multilingual made understanding the Latin used in spells easier. It was just tedious work in her opinion. Nicolasa would often just complete whatever homework she had to do the day that she got it... After all her situation in the friend department hadn't improved since September. In other words, she had _none_. Especially after she accidentally discovered that _all_ of her fellow Gryffindor year mates were destined to die unnatural deaths… not a _single_ one would live to be a pruned and wrinkled grandparent. Nicolasa decided that it had been for the best that she didn't originally make any close friends during the Welcoming Feast.

* * *

 **~TWO MONTHS LATER~**

Nicolasa smiled happily as her Papi lifted her up and let her ride on his broad shoulders. She could hardly believe that the Yule Holidays were already upon her, currently, they were waiting at the Kyōto no suichū-eki (or the Underwater Train Station of Kyoto) that led to Luka's school. The slim and modern-looking train hissed and groaned as it pulled into the station. As soon as it made a complete stop, children and teens of all ages got off the train in a familiar chaotic fashion.

 _"Do you see him princessa?"_ her father asked as his eyes darted across the crowded platform.

Nicolasa looked around carefully as she tried to spot her thirteen-year-old brother and his two best friends, " _Nope, not ye- wait! Wait, I see them! That way Papi!_ " she commanded him as she shouted over the noise to the three boys, " _LUKA!_ _Onii-chan over here! Akio-nii! Akira-nii!"_

Luka's head snapped up to look at his little sister as she clung to the top of their father's hair. He quickly picked up his pace and made his way towards them through the crowd. Smiling he shouted in return, " _NIKI! It's been so long!_ " he exclaimed when they finally reached them.

Nicolasa smiled brightly as she jumped of her father's shoulders and barreled her brother into a hug, " _I missed you Lu-Lu…_ " she whispered into the taller boy's chest.

Luka smiled gently down at her, " _I missed you too Niki…_ "

" _Well, well… would you look at this 'Kira…_ " a teasing voice said good-naturedly, " _Little Niki, hasn't even spared us a glance in comparison to her beloved Onii-chan."_ he said in a cutesy voice.

" _Hmm, I can see what you mean Aki…"_ a similar voice played along, " _She has decided to ignore our beautiful and marvelous existence… for shame!_ " he cried dramatically as he placed a hand on his forehead in 'pain.'

" _Oh, 'Kira!_ " The first boy cried as they threw their arms around one another, " _Don't you worry, you'll always be first in my heart!_ " he proclaimed dramatically as crocodile tears streaked down their faces.

" _Aki…_ " the other boy whimpered touched, " _Of course! We'll always be on each other's sides!_ " he exclaimed as they hugged each other even tighter and 'sobbed' loudly.

Luka and Nicolasa exchanged amused glances before bursting out in laughter as even their father chuckled good-naturedly at the twins' dramatic cry for attention.

Akira and Akio were identical twins and had become Luka's best friends after they had met each other on the train ride to school during their first years. They were all the same age and the twins shared Luka's (and Nicolasa's) _passion_ for music (they could play the drums, bass guitar, piano, violin, and the cello)… and while the twins were exceptionally bright and could keep up with Luka who was mentally older than they were... they enjoyed placing most of their efforts into making people smile with their antics or by playing harmless (but hilarious) pranks.

Both boys had had shaggy chin-length black hair, pale skin without any blemishes other than the beauty marks they both had under their left eyes, their eyes were a dark grey color that twinkled with mischief and they were both prone to smiling crookedly at people. The twins also, interestingly enough, had eidetic memories and could remember things from when they were very young; Nicolasa had almost died of laughter when they told her that their first memories were of them pissing simultaneously on the family nanny while getting their diapers changed.

They were the youngest children out of five and while they weren't necessarily _neglected_ , as they were financially supported by their family, they were often _overlooked_ by their parents. After all, they already had two male heirs to take after their family lines (the oldest brother would inherit their patriarchal line while the younger would take over the matriarchal line), and they had one lovely daughter that was already betrothed to be married into a wealthy and powerful line….

Ever since their small family of three had discovered the strained relationship the twins had with their family, the duo had often been invited to spend their holidays with them. Currently they were going to spend their Yule Holiday's with the Santos in Spain, like they had been for the last two previous years.

" _Oh! Akio-nii, Akira-nii!_ " Nicolasa pretended to swoon after she stopped laughing, "I _'ve missed you both so much!_ " she confessed dramatically as she pulled the two of them into a hug before kissing their cheeks messily.

The twins smirked as they pulled her into a hug between them, " _Aki, what do you think?_ " the twin on the left questioned.

" _I agree with you brother…_ " Akio agreed.

" _Yes, yes… We're sorry-_ " Akira confessed in false remorse.

" _Luka, but it looks like-_ " Akio continued in the same tone.

" _We're gonna have to-_ " Akira reluctantly nodded along as both of the twins tightened their hug around her.

" _Kidnap your little sister to be ours after all!_ " they finished together. Luka's eyes widened in horror before his face comically became flushed with anger.

" _You- You evil doppelgangers! Unhand my sweet innocent baby sister at this moment! She's mine! You can't have her!_ " he cried out anxiously as he tried to pull her out from between their grasp.

The twins burst out laughing at their friend's genuine distress, " _HaHaHa! Lu-Luka, You're such a si-sister-con!_ " Akio howled as he bent over in laughter. Nicolasa began giggling at her brother's stupefied expression as he realized that he'd been duped, once more, by the twins' mischievous actions.

" _Jerks!"_ he pouted adorably as the twins rolled on the ground like loons as they continued to laugh at his expense, Luka's eyes widened with betrayal as their father, who'd been joyfully watching over the reunion in silence, also started laughing at the twins small 'prank.' " _Dad_ _!_ " He cried out in shock.

" _I'm sorry Luka, but you should have seen your face!_ " he chuckled before ruffling his hair gently, renewing everyone's laughter as Luka's pout became more pronounced before he started to walk away, extremely offended by their laughter against his person.

* * *

 **~FIVE MONTHS LATER~**

It was now May 18th and Nicolasa, much like the rest of her year mates, was hastily preparing for the final exams to come the following month. Throughout the entire year, she hadn't put much effort into her work, as the first-year curriculum did not really require so much concentration from the mentally older eleven-year-old, but she was still one of the top five students from her age group.

Nicolasa sighed in annoyance as some of the rowdier Second Year Gryffindor's began making a racket in the library and broke her concentration for the umpteenth time. She began packing her books up in minor annoyance as she glared angrily at her fellow rowdy Gryffindor's; she wouldn't be able to study with them making so much noise anyway.

She was just leaving the library in calmly as Madam Pince began yelling at the four boys for 'disturbing the peacefulness and sanctity of the library.'

Letting her feet guide her blindly to her destination she came to a familiar alcove on the seventh floor; Nicolasa's lack of friends resulted in her having a copious amount of free time, so she had spent the majority of her time exploring the halls and secret passages of Hogwarts in search of a quiet and peaceful place where she could be herself and play her music.

The seventh floor in particular was a blessing in disguise for her as people rarely went up there since no classes had taken place on the floor for a century. She dropped her bag underneath the window sill, heaved herself over the spacious ledge and leaned against the wall to look out of the windowpane. The view from where she was sitting was particularly spectacular; she could see the entirety of the beautiful grounds of Hogwarts from her perch. The Dark Forest was as ominous looking in the broad daylight as it was at night and she could spot the outskirts of Hogsmede in the distance, the Black Lake shimmered mysteriously as the sun's rays hit the water serenely as she spied some older students relaxing by its banks (most likely taking a break from the seemingly never-ending studying).

Smiling gently at the peaceful scenery, Nicolasa pulled out her 12 hole transverse ocarina (the first one that had been gifted to her and was carved out of wood). Gently bringing the mouthpiece to her lips, her fingers began dancing across the length of the instrument. The familiar melody of 'Always With Me' began playing soothingly in the otherwise silent and tranquil corridor, Nicolasa allowed herself to relax completely as she shut her eyes from the rest of the world and allowed herself to just feel.

Despite her relatively new joyful childhood, the invisible scars left from her past life still haunted her constantly. When her nightmares weren't revolving around the disturbing visions of complete strangers dying, she was plagued by her neglecting drug-addict parents and the uncaring eyes belonging to the people from her old town.

* * *

 **Around 4208 Words**

* * *

 **Notes:**

The song 'Always With Me' comes from the movie Spirited Away (Ghibli), you can listen to STL Ocarina's beautiful version of the song on YouTube through this link: watch?v=nWSNWnX2n38

* * *

 _Translation:_

Onii-chan or Nii-chan is a Japanese endearment for 'older/big brother,' when Nicolasa calls Akio and Akira, Akio-nii and Akira-nii… she is doing it out of endearment, referring to them as beloved older sibling figures, although Luka is the only one she'll call 'nii-chan' outright.

* * *

 ** _Message from the Author:_**

I apologize for updating this fic sooo late, I've been really busy with my other fics, school, work, and general messiness that is life. I will try and update more frequently. (If anyone here likes the Hunger Games, The Walking Dead, Naruto, and One Piece feel free to check out some of my other fics!)


	5. Chapter 5:2nd Yr & Weird Friendships

Chapter 5: Second Year and the Start of a Weird Friendship

* * *

"Sup." = English

 _'Hi…' = Thought_

 _"Hey." = Spanish_

 _"What's up!?" = Japanese_

 **~~'How's it going?'~~ = Vision**

* * *

 **TRIGGER WARNING!**

* * *

It was already three weeks into the new school year and Nicolasa already wished that she could return back to the comfort of her home in Spain.

In other words… Nicolasa had completely enjoyed her summer vacation away from Hogwarts. She hadn't completely realized until she arrived back home just how stressful it was for her to be completely surrounded by utter strangers who had the unfortunate potential for dying in a painful fashion. It was truly just dawning on her that the majority of students from Hogwarts were destined to have unnatural deaths (that sadly really never failed to trigger her 'gift') which in the end forced her to avoid nearly everyone she came into contact with.

Her year mates in particular, seemed to be _damned_.

* * *

 **~FLASHBACK ONE MONTH AGO (AUGUST)~**

It was around nine-thirty in morning and Nicolasa had been enjoying the relatively quiet company of her brother while she read her Second Year DADA textbook in advance. She had always enjoyed reading ahead of time to see what they were going to be learning, so the moment that she had received her school list she had insisted to go supplies shopping in order to get some reading done. Currently the twins, Akio and Akira, were both sleeping in that morning as they had arrived from Japan pretty late the previous night. (Despite the fact that the twins had been spending the majority of their summer in Spain with them, they had still visited their birth family for a week in order to celebrate their oldest brother's birthday, for which their parents had organized a giant party for their heir, making their attendance mandatory).

The feeling of an animal rubbing its body gingerly against her stretched out legs quickly caught her attention as Socks, Luka's adorable familiar, stalked towards her. He quickly rubbed his head against her stretched out hand and cuddled up into her side as he made himself comfortable. Socks was an unknown breed of cat (though Luka fervently claimed that Socks had to have a kneazle ancestor, since the cat was extremely intelligent to not have any magical history in its blood) and was primarily grey with darker grey stripes on his back and tail, he was aptly named as his hind paws were snow-white resembling the socks he was named after. He was a rather docile cat in nature and had taken the new rambunctious addition of the house rather passively…

" _Quico~!_ " Luka cooed at the small beagle puppy that was currently chewing on his large white bone with fervor, the puppy looked up at his name and wagged his tail excitedly, " _Come here Quico!_ " Luka encouraged as the puppy tripped over his own feet to get to him faster.

Nicolasa giggled from her comfortable perch curled up on the couch, as the puppy barreled over her brother in his excitement as Socks barely blinked an eye at the puppy's actions. Quico was the newest addition to the Santos family and he had yet to stop making each new day exciting or hilarious. " _Aww, look at that Lu-Lu… he loves you!_ " she teased as Luka's hair was mused upwards in a strange direction from how hard Quico was licking his face.

Apparently, their father had gotten lonely with both of his children now off at boarding school. Keeping in mind how much they'd both liked dogs (despite the fact that Luka's familiar was a cat), he'd decided that the household needed a new furry companion to distract him during the school year.

Luka shot her a fairly annoyed glance before he tried to calm the excitable pup down, " _Alright, alright… Quico, stop that!_ " he admonished the pup and gently held the dog's jaw closed making Quico whine in distress, " _Fine…_ " Luka sighed in resignation and let go, resulting in the puppy continuing to bathe Luka's face. Nicolasa began laughing even more now (her brother was such a pushover), ignoring Sock's disgruntled glare as the cat continued to rub his face against her side as he prepared himself for a nice long nap, just as their father walked into the living room jovially.

" _Luka, Nicolasa!_ " he chirped gaining their attention, " _As you both know, the Santos Family have prided themselves in the art of the animagus transformation to the point where it has become practically a part of our bloodline._ "

Nicolasa and Luka exchanged glances before nodding in recognition, the information their father was providing wasn't anything new. After all, the majority of the bedtime stories they'd heard over the years incorporated an animagus in one form or another. Besides, they practically grew up with their father constantly shifting into his animal form and giving them rides around the living room when they were younger. She had always thought that her father's form was rather brilliant and represented the man well… Besides now that she was a Gryffindor, his white African lion form was rather ironically amusing to her since lions were her house mascot.

" _As tradition has it…_ " he said excitedly as he locked eyes with Luka, " _You will be turning fourteen this year, so it's time to start training and preparing you for your animagus transformation!_ "

Nicolasa gasped in surprise as Luka's eyes widened momentarily before he jumped to his feet, startling poor Quico as he fell off her brother's lap, " _Are you serious!_ " Luka exclaimed.

" _Completely serious!_ " their father crowed extremely pleased with himself before turning back to look at her, " _Nicolasa, don't feel left out princessa, I will also be guiding you your animagus transformation when you turn fourteen._ "

She wouldn't have been able to stop the smile from blooming upon her lips if she tried.

A tired voice rang out irritably, " _What's all this racket about?"_

 _"Yea?_ " the other twin asked sleepily as a yawn escaped his lips.

Luka smiled excitedly at his best friends, " _Aki! Kira! You're up!_ "

The first twin glared crankily, " _Yea, Lu-Lu. I can see that, can't you Aki?_ " Akira asked his counterpart sarcastically.

" _I can brother dear, Lu-Lu must be losing his marbles…_ " Akio played along.

Luka ignored their less than kind words resulting from jet-lag and blurted out, " _I'm going to be an animagus!_ "

The twins' mouths dropped comically in unison as they shouted in surprise, " _WHAT!?_ "

Socks was less than pleased with her when Nicolasa began laughing once more in amusement and accidentally dropped her textbook onto his head.

* * *

 **~END OF FLASHBACK~**

Nicolasa sighed forlornly from her corner in the Common Room, it seemed like the new Gryffindor First Years were already assimilating smoothly into the school. She couldn't help but feel a little jealous that everyone around her seemed to have made close friends already and she'd yet to even have a five-minute-long conversation with anyone her age since her first train ride.

Closing her eyes momentarily, she rubbed her forehead tiredly as Evans and James _bloody_ Potter started fighting once more. James Potter was a Light orientated pureblood wizard, with messy dark brown hair and chocolate-colored eyes hiding behind a pair of circular framed glasses. He along with his merry band of friends were known to be notorious pranksters, and they often enjoyed singling out Snape amongst their _many_ Slytherin victims.

In her opinion, they were a bit like bullies, and no better than the 'slimy snakes' they so despised. They could be completely malicious with their pranks, and they often humiliated their victims completely… of course, not all of their pranks were like that. Some of them were really quite funny, like when the hair of _all_ of the respective houses turned into their designated colors. But at that moment, Nicolasa didn't really care for him nor his group of friends much… Especially since he was currently clashing with Evans once more, that girl was a goody-two-shoes through and through, but whenever she was around Potter for too long, things got _explosive_. That girl had a strong pair of lungs on her and never failed to give Nicolasa a huge headache when she got into a row with Potter.

Giving up on being able to relax in the Common Room she snuck up the stairs into her dorm (Evans had pulled her wand out when she'd made it to the stairs and Nicolasa did not want to get caught in the crossfire, once was more than enough, thank you very much), pulling the curtains shut around her bed and cast a silencing spell, Nicolasa curled under her covers as her head throbbed painfully.

Her father had been trying to teach the sibling duo how to shield their minds through a form of mind magic called _occlumency._ Apparently, it was supposed to, theoretically, help them shield their minds better against visions. So far it hadn't been working very well. Nicolasa was starting to feel more than resigned against her lot in life.

Slowly she felt her eyes grow heavier and heavier until she fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

 **~FOUR MONTHS LATER~**

It was already the end of January, it had only been one month since the Yule Holidays and Nicolasa couldn't help but _long_ for the rest of the year to go by faster than it currently was… especially at that moment.

"Huh, mudblood… are you going to cry?" Avery sneered cruelly as Rosier and Mulciber laughed in the background.

She had been on her way to the kitchens, which was unfortunately located in the dungeons (close to the Hufflepuff Common Room/Dormitories), when she'd been cornered by the three Slytherin's in her year before she could make it to the portrait with a pear painted on it. She had discovered the kitchens by chance just before the holidays and had started to make it a habit to start eating the majority of her meals there in silence. It was more peaceful that way (and there were no chances of her looking accidentally into someone's eyes or being accidentally touched by her peers)… Besides, the house-elves were absolutely adorable, not to mention good company when she actually wanted to have a conversation with someone else.

"Would you look at that Quillian, Reginald… the little _mudblood_ thinks that it can ignore her betters. That can't be left unpunished now can it?" Rosier asked rhetorically as a malicious glint lit up his eyes.

Mulciber snickered, "Of course not Evan, we need to think of a proper punishment for the mudblood to show it how insignificant it really is."

Nicolasa resolutely kept her eyes firmly glued to the floor, staring at the books spilling out from her school bag; she frowned and swore inwardly as she saw ink begin to soak into the cover of her Transfiguration textbook, that would take forever to take out manually and she didn't know the spell to vanish the ink without vanishing the actual words in the textbook as well. A trip to the library was in order. Suddenly a sharp pain that racked her entire frame, reminding her slightly of what it felt to be electrocuted, caused her to hit the ground onto her knees jolted her out of her thoughts. Peeking up through the fringe of her hair at the boys taunting her, she watched cautiously at the three infuriated boys.

Avery was glaring at her angrily, "Mudblood whore," he hissed, "who do you think you are to ignore us?"

Nicolasa bit the inside of her cheek harshly as she tried to keep her temper under control… the three Slytherin's that kept antagonizing her were quickly rising up on her list of people she despised.

"Reginald," Mulciber stated as he placed his hand on his shoulder, as if to calm the irate pre-teen, "the bitch isn't worth your anger." He finished as he glared at her as if she were the scum of the earth.

"Yes, let's just leave… it has a vacant stare, it probably can't even comprehend what's going on at the moment." Rosier sneered as the group began to leave pompously.

As soon as Nicolasa spied that they had left the corridor she gathered her knees to her face and allowed a few traitorous tears to escape. Whatever hex they must have put her under had caused her to feel as if electricity was running dangerously through her veins, shakily fingering her birdie ocarina Nicolasa sighed morosely before she began picking up her things and carefully made her trek to the kitchens once more. After all, it would do her no good to contemplate her ill fortune, children were cruel. She had learned that lesson _long_ ago.

All she wanted to do now was eat a meager meal served by overly friendly house-elves and go to sleep. Fixing the damage that the three prejudiced assholes had left on her bag and her books could be dealt with at a later time.

* * *

 **~THREE MONTHS LATER (APRIL 1ST)~**

Nicolasa woke up that morning with a start, the previous night she had made the mistake of accidentally looking into Regulus Black's eyes (he was the younger brother of Sirius Black, a Gryffindor who was in her year… Black was also, unfortunately, a part of Potter's posse and enjoyed playing pranks as much or maybe even _more_ than Potter did) at the Great Hall when she had spontaneously decided to eat there instead of the kitchens for once. What she had glimpsed in the younger boy's eyes was simply tragic.

He died _alone_ , well not completely… he was in the company of an old sobbing house-elf as he slowly choked on his own blood, he had drunk some sort of poison in a dark cave. She sincerely doubted anyone ever found out whether or not he'd passed away or not as he had ordered the elf to incinerate his body the moment he passed. What really bothered her was that his final words were desperate choked pleads to the elf to destroy a locket for him. He had willingly drunk a painful and fast-acting poison… all to destroy a bloody _locket_?

The moment she had arrived back to her dorm room she had created a bio for the younger Black, next to the page she had of his older brother, and jotted down everything she could remember from her vision… She was a firm believer in the notion that if she couldn't at least save all of the people who were going to pass, Nicolasa was at the very least going to remember them and their last moments.

" _Tempus_." She whispered, the spell revealed that it was seven-forty-five in the morning.

Sighing sadly, as it was a Saturday, at the missed chance to sleep in she slowly started getting out of bed. Noticing that all of her dorm mates were still soundly asleep, she quietly gathered her towel and toiletries and headed for the bathroom to shower. After showering she pulled on a plain cotton black dress that reminded her of the one that Kiki from 'Kiki's Delivery Service' used to wear and a pair of black tights, she slipped on her favorite black cloth (ballet/jazz) dance shoes and grabbed her saddlebag. She paused momentarily in front of the vanity the other girls had set up in the bedroom.

Her physical appearance hadn't changed much since she was younger, she still had a ridiculous amount of beauty marks adorning her face and while she had lost the majority of her baby fat there was still some remaining. She had recently just started wearing a bra, but her boob size wasn't really impressive just yet (she was just an A-cup at the moment but she knew that would change as time went on considering her mom had been a bombshell and all of the females on her dad's side were also gorgeous and voluptuous, looking). Her hair was a lot longer than it used to be and it was reaching her mid-back now, looking critically at her hair she quickly twisted her hair into a bun and held it up with her wand. Smiling, she quietly made her way out of the dorms.

Letting her feet carry her she quickly made it to her favorite alcove on the seventh floor. After settling into her spot she pulled out Luka's latest letter. Apparently, the twins had gotten a two-week-long detention for playing a prank on the teachers (it made them _all_ lose their hair) and Luka had made a new friend with a boy from a grade below them. His name was Hiro, and because he was a child of two known werewolves, he hadn't made any friends because ignorant people decided to ostracize him for his inherited condition. Personally, Nicolasa was rather proud of her brother and the twins for becoming friends with Hiro. She knew that they had lost a couple of friends and standing amongst their peers for associating with him, but they stood by Hiro's side and told anyone off for messing with the younger boy.

Nicolasa didn't believe that prejudice should exist between magical creatures and wizards… frankly, it was stupid in her opinion to ostracize anyone for being different. In the end they all had magic, and frankly, the magic community depended on each other… By constantly discriminating against the non-humans in their community, they were burning bridges with creatures that could potentially end up helping them…. On top of that it was building up resentment against the wizards, inwardly in the recesses of her mind, Nicolasa couldn't help but worry about them eventually leading a well-deserved revolution against mankind in order to get equal rights or more… not that she would ever blame them.

Deciding to write a letter back to Luka, she pulled out a spare sheet of parchment and a fountain pen (they were easier and more practical to write with, in her opinion, compared to quills).

 ** _O~o~O~o_**

 _Dear Luka,_

 _I'm glad that Hiro is feeling more comfortable with your group of friends; I just hope that Akio and Akira don't scare him off with their ridiculousness before I get to meet him (Just kidding… but seriously I really do want to meet him). I swear if you don't invite Hiro over during our summer vacation I'll never forgive you!_

 _I've been doing alright. I really miss you and Papi…. Especially last night! I had a horrible nightmare; there is something weird going on in England brother. Do you remember what I told you about my school mates? The majority of them are going to end up dying at a young age, and all the deaths seem to revolve around this group called Death Eaters and that weird snake-man… I'm worried Lu-Lu._

 _Anyway, I've been practicing with my ocarina (as always) and you'll be proud to know that I can now play 'Oppa Gangnam Style…'_

 _I know! I'm pretty amazing aren't I? (That's a rhetorical question, you're not allowed to answer that…)_

 _I haven't made much progress in the friend department, as always, but I am on good terms with Mr. Filch. He's a squib who lives in the castle, he's like a custodian and guardian of the hallways. Most students don't like him since he enjoys giving out the nastiest detentions if he catches a student out in the halls after lights out. The only reason he even likes me is because I saved his cat, Mrs. Olive, from a group of Slytherins… apparently my selfless actions have proved my apparent worth in his eyes._

 _It's actually kind of nice to have someone to talk to other than the house-elves… even if the man is obsessed with catching this group called the Marauders. They are this sort of vigilante, pranking group of students that surfaced right after the Yule Hols… (I don't believe I have mentioned them before now)… anyway, I believe that it's really James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. They are notorious prankers after all… and I may or may not have seen them bribing the house-elves to sabotage the food served on the Slytherin table._

 _Oh! And because I know you'll want an update… the bullying hasn't really gotten any better, but it hasn't gotten worse either. Just meager name-calling and stinging hexes nothing I can't deal with or haven't dealt with in the past. Don't worry! I can tell from here that you're frowning angrily, I'm fine! Really!_

 _Well… I guess I better go now, I have a Transfiguration and an Herbology essay due Monday… plus I really want to recreate the song 'Live Like You Were Dying,' and yes dear brother, it's another one of my 'depressing' country songs… deal with it, I was a hill-billy once upon a time._

 _With lots of Love,_

 _Nicolasa S._

 _(o l l o)_

 ** _O~o~O~o_**

After revising her letter for any spelling errors she smiled contently and folded the parchment carefully before sealing it inside an envelope. She would drop it off at the owlery before heading to lunch.

Taking out her Herbology textbook she began to write her essay in peace, only stopping after completing the entire paper, Nicolasa put away her text and homework before jumping down from the ledge and stretching.

" _Tempus_."

It was already 11:30 and she'd been feeling hunger pangs for a while, especially since she'd skipped breakfast that morning… Deciding to ignore the unfortunate events from the previous night, she headed to the Great Hall for some early lunch. She observed absentmindedly as students from all houses chatted jovially with their friends as she served herself a plate of food. Thankfully the Hall wasn't that full as it was a Hogsmede weekend and most of the older year students were out enjoying themselves. The lamb was looking and smelling rather delectable and the mashed potatoes were thick and creamy, Nicolasa hummed in delight as she chewed and swallowed forkfuls of her meal while she continued one of her favorite pastimes: people watching.

While she didn't have friends per se, it didn't mean that she was ignorant of all the goings of her fellow Hogwarts students. Besides it was like doing recon, Nicolasa learned whom to avoid (who was friends with whom and people who were 'mortal enemies' with one another) simply by listening to gossip… On top of that, she was always careful to avoid looking directly into people's eyes…. Basically she considered it training for how to live in the real world after she graduated from Hogwarts.

Nicolasa's gaze snapped upwards as she heard two familiar screeches above the noise of chatty students. Her father's regal African Grass owl, Blu, and her Aunt Juliana's Australian owl, Lola, were flying gracefully towards her as they both carefully carried a large picnic basket between them. A couple of nosy students looked at her package curiously as the two owls gently placed it on the table in front of her, Nicolasa quickly offered both owls a treat as she eagerly opened the card attached to the basket.

 ** _O~o~O~o_**

 _My Dear Princessa,_

 _As your father, I believe that I know you quite well… so I'm going to assume that you've forgotten you're birthday… again. Anyway, you're Aunt and I have sent you a small cake, to share with your friends, along with your gifts, after all, one doesn't turn thirteen every day._

 _I hope that you are having a lovely birthday so far and I can't wait to see you!_

 _Happy Birthday, Princessa!_

 _With a lot of Love,_

 _You're Father,_

 _Ricardo Santos_

 _PS. You are going to love your gift!_

 ** _O~o~O~o_**

A giant smile bloomed across her face as she finished reading her father's card, it was April first! She couldn't believe that her birthday had slipped her mind again, for two years in a row now. Opening the basket she quickly spotted a delicately wrapped pastry box that contained her birthday cake, underneath it there were two small wrapped presents and a small jewelry shaped box. Deciding that she would finish opening her gifts as well as eating her cake in private, and away from all of the annoyingly curious eyes staring her down like greedy vultures, she carefully shut the basket and finished her lunch quickly (aka stuffing the last few bites in her mouth) before making her way out of the Great Hall.

Deciding that the best place to quietly celebrate her birthday was her little alcove on the seventh floor, she merrily let herself skip to her destination.

"You!" a familiar voice grouched cruelly, "No running in the halls!"

Turning around, Nicolasa smiled apologetically at the aging squib, "I'm sorry Mr. Filch… I was really excited." She apologized sheepishly as Mrs. Olive began rubbing against her legs happily.

The cruel glint in the man's eyes seemed to vanish as he recognized the apologetic young witch in front of him, "Oh, it's you. You should know better than to run in the Halls, Ms. Santos." He admonished her.

Nicolasa's face colored, Mr. Filch reminded her of her own grandfather when he was chastising her…. Before she began smiling excitedly at the man, "Mr. Filch I don't want to bother you, but as it is, today is my birthday and my father sent me a small cake to share with my friends and I wanted to know if you and Mrs. Olive would like to join me?" she asked hopefully.

The man looked at her in surprise, "Why on earth would you invite me to eat your cake with you and not your friends?" he asked incredulously, "You're not trying to trick me are you?" he questioned her suspiciously.

"No! Of course not! I- I don't know if you noticed Mr. Filch, but you and Mrs. Olive are really the only friends I have here other than the house-elves… So I would be honored if you'd join me." She reassured him.

The man rubbed his chin before nodding somewhat reluctantly, "Alright, we'll join you…. But! That doesn't mean that we like you! Got it girl!" he barked ignoring the bright smile Nicolasa beamed up at him.

"Alright!" she agreed as she led the two of them up to her alcove where they shared the small buttercream cake happily.

After Mr. Filch left, he had a very important job to complete after all, Nicolasa opened her gifts carefully. Her Aunt and cousins had given her a beautiful jewelry box that had a little ballerina twirling around to a twinkling rendition to the famous tune from 'Romeo and Juliet' when it was opened, they had also given her an enchanted dream catcher hoping that it would bring her better sleep at night. Luka had sent her new music sheets as well as a new quill pen for her Dream Journal, the twins had sent her a bunch of interesting Japanese pranks to try and even Hiro had sent her some sweets (despite not knowing her at all, what a sweetheart!). Her Uncle German, who was her father's older brother and head of the family, and his husband Antonio had sent her an expensive-looking moon ring that would accurately reveal her true feelings. Her father had sent her the best gift of all in her opinion… it was a detailed book over the animagus transformation as well as his own journal recounting his experience becoming an animagus.

Squealing in delight, Nicolasa quickly read the note that was taped to the journal.

 _Princessa,_

 _Now that you are thirteen, we are going to start going over the theory of the animagus transformation… We are also going to start working on figuring out what animal you are, and while you won't be transforming until you are at least fourteen or fifteen years of age this marks the start of your training._

 _I'm so proud of you my darling and your mother would be too._

 _See you soon,_

 _Papi_

* * *

 **Around 4565 Words**

* * *

 **TRIGGER WARNING:** Bullying, racial slurs

* * *

 **Notes:**

The song 'Live Like You Were Dying' is sung by Tim McGraw and you can listen to it through YouTube or through this link: watch?v=LxDkWBvxHE, Nicolasa was a country girl before she was reborn in Spain so she will occasionally be playing or singing country songs… I hope this doesn't put anyone off, I'm not a country girl (trust me I'm a full-bred Latina) but I've found that a lot of country songs are extremely touching and in some cases, really depressing which would go well with this story as Nicolasa is adepressed individual.


	6. Chapter 6: Third Year

Chapter 6: Third Year

* * *

"Sup." = English

 _'Hi…' = Thought_

 _"Hey." = Spanish_

 _"What's up!?" = Japanese_

 **~~'How's it going?'~~ = Vision**

* * *

Monkey.

Luka's animagus form was a White-Fronted Capuchin monkey ( _Cebus albifrons_ ) that oddly resembled the monkey Jack from the 'POTC' movies. Nicolasa was positive that she'd hacked out a piece of her lungs from laughing when her brother had reluctantly revealed his form to her.

He had discovered what his animal counterpart was a month into his new school year and had flaunted that fact in her face through all of the letters he had sent her, but he'd refused to write her what animal he actually was (claiming that he had wanted to tell her in person). The fact that Luka had been able to withhold any form of information from Nicolasa was an impressive feat in itself, especially considering that he usually caved just thinking about her sad puppy dog face, so it had been killing her to find out. When he finally got out for summer vacation, she honestly couldn't tell if she was more excited to meet Hiro in person or find out what animal form best represented her brother…. And if she was honestly thinking about it, being a monkey suited her brother.

Luka was very family-oriented and thrived best when they were all together… and like his monkey counterpart, he was territorial of his home and family members (a prime example would be his panic attacks whenever one of the twins teased to take her way and keep her all to themselves). Basically, despite his banshee screaming curse, he was a very social person, the number of friends he had made since starting school had made that evident.

On the other hand, her _occlumency_ lessons were progressing rather well, which would eventually help lead her to discover what her form is ahead of time. So far, she has the meditation part down pat, her father suspected that she would probably discover what her animal is after the Yule Holidays…. After that she would need to research her animal carefully. Despite the fact that becoming an _animagus_ was pretty much guaranteed because of her family line, it still wouldn't be an easy feat… In order for her to be able to successfully shift into her animal form, she would need to know all about her forms skeletal frame and muscular structure…. Basically in order to be able to shift into an _animagus_ the person in question would need to become an expert in that type of animal. This is why most people don't ever actually become an animagus, deeming it too much work that was based on their memorization rather than their magical capabilities.

(Luka was going insane researching over his animagus form… he'd researched everything! From the White-Fronted Capuchins' dietary preference to their social habits and behavior).

Based on her estimations, after finding out her form, she would still need an additional year or more in order to shift painlessly and accurately… and to be completely honest she couldn't wait!

It was sadly the last week of the summer vacation and Nicolasa was cuddled up against Luka on the back porch swing, despite the fact that it was an extremely hot and sticky afternoon the siblings were pretty much entangled with one another as the swing moved slowly.

" _Niki_?" her brother's baritone voice mumbled absentmindedly as he twirled a lock of her black hair.

" _Yea_?" she whispered contently as Quico rolled around comically on the grass.

Luka shifted and turned to look at her with consideration, " _You would tell me if you're struggling right?_ " he asked worriedly.

Looking up at the teenaged boy in confusion, Nicolasa questioned him, " _What do you mean Lu?"_

" _I mean, you would tell me if the bullying at Hogwarts ever got worse… and if you ever start feeling- well down again, right?_ " he pleaded referring back to their mutual depressing past lives.

Nicolasa sighed, this wasn't the first time the siblings had a similar talk and it certainly wouldn't be the last time either. Before the duo had started school they had made each other promise to always keep the other in the loop, after all even though they lived completely different lives compared to their past ones… They weren't exactly one hundred percent okay, or even over what they had been through. When they were babies and young children it was easier for them to ignore those lingering emotions and actions as their bodies were physically too young and their bodies couldn't mentally cope with those past and now present feelings…. But now that they were older… depression seemed to return with a fury.

Luka had found comfort not only in their family, as their father never favored one sibling over the other and made it clear to them that they were both extremely loved… but on top of that, he had found comradeship and acceptance in the form of his friends, something he was completely lacking in his old life. He had people that he trusted to fall back on when he wasn't at home, which was unfortunately pretty much all year round considering that he attended a boarding school in Japan… but his little sister had no one to fall back on at Hogwarts, and from what he had gathered based on the letters they frequently exchanged throughout the year, Nicolasa hadn't made any friends her age… on top of that, she seemed to be an easy target for bullies. He was worried about her, being a teenager wasn't easy and in his opinion, they pretty much screwed it up the first time around by killing themselves when they couldn't cope any longer.

Somedays Nicolasa would just lose her appetite and motivation to do anything she would usually find comfort in… like her passion for reading and music. Other days, she would spend the entire time playing her music without end… she had been able to recreate seven songs from her ever glimmering past just in the last two weeks alone when she went through one of her ' _I need to be alone_ ' bouts.

Burrowing her face into her brother's neck she mumbled, " _I guess… I don't think it'll get any worse though Lu-Lu, so don't worry about me ok?"_

Luka looked at her disbelievingly before he sighed and tightened his arms around her small frame, " _God Niki… I'm going to go prematurely grey because of you."_

Nicolasa giggled at the thought, " _I think you could pull it off._ " She stated seriously making the teen chuckle.

" _Can you imagine what the twins would say? 'Hey Lu-Lu, it looks like being an older brother does make a person age… Hmmm, we need to try harder to make you go grey, after all, Niki shouldn't be able to beat us!' I would go insane within a week!_" he said hysterically after mimicking the twins' voices…. That only made Nicolasa laugh even more knowing that Akio and Akira would take it as a personal challenge to make all of Luka's hair go grey. Hiro, on the other hand, would probably enjoy the show and laugh at all of their attempts and results.

" _Hey_ ," she said smiling softly as she looked into his greenish-grey almond-shaped eyes, " _I love you, you know?"_

Luka smiled lovingly back down at her, " _I love you too baby sis._ " He kissed her forehead softly before the two siblings looked back up at Quico who had run to where they were sitting in order to be petted and loved as well.

* * *

 **~TWO MONTHS LATER~**

Third-year at Hogwarts had been keeping her completely entertained; she had decided to take three additional classes: Study of Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, and Care of Magical Creatures. Her schedule was completely booked and she rarely had time to dwell on any negative thoughts, which was a definite plus… On top of that, she genuinely enjoyed all of her classes.

She hadn't made any new friends this semester either, shocker, but for once Nicolasa couldn't care less. She was too busy completing homework assignments out of class and trying to actually enjoy her free/alone time... than to really put any thought on trying to make a friend her age. Besides she was still on relatively good terms with Mr. Filch, as she'd had actually had the foresight to write to him a couple times over the summer as well as bring him a little 'start of the term' gift (it was a special collar for Mrs. Olive that was connected to a leather armband covered with matching runes on his wrist that would let him know if a student was breaking a rule around the vicinity of the collar), and with the house-elves… so if she ever truly wished for the company of another being all she had to do was go find it.

Currently, she was in her favorite secluded corner of the library as she completed her DADA homework; thankfully the essay she was writing was only a foot and a half so she would be able to finish it quickly.

"Goodbye Barty, I'll see you in the common room later." A soft cultured voice murmured confidently from one table over from hers, looking up momentarily to see who was talking and breaking the quiet peace she'd been enjoying, Nicolasa almost accidentally locked eyes again with one Regulus Black.

Looking away quickly she turned her gaze back to her paper as she heard Barty Crouch Jr. (a first-year and the son of the current British Minister) gather his belongings and exchange his own farewells with the older boy before he vacated the library. Nicolasa listened with dread when a chair creaked as it was pushed back and a pair of footsteps approached her table, silently hoping that Black currently wasn't standing beside her she diligently continued writing about Boggarts and how to get rid of them.

"Excuse me?" Black asked.

 _'Fuck my life_.' Nicolasa thought bitterly as she withheld the need to sigh tiredly. "Yes." She responded demurely, putting her quill into the ink well as she turned to stare at his nose resolutely.

Black seemed to take that as a cue to sit in front of her as he pulled out a chair and sat eloquently on it, "I have seen you around the Gryffindor's before, but I've never been able to catch your name." He stated expectantly.

Nicolasa allowed a fake polite smile to paint her expression, one that Luka had once referred to as her 'dealing with this idiot' face, "I believe that may be because you are a Slytherin and a year below me."

The second-year boy simply lifted his eyebrow expectantly, "That I already assumed. Avery, Mulciber and Rosier have mentioned a Gryffindor mud- muggle-born student in their year before. But they have never mentioned your name before so I was curious."

She winced slightly at the mention of the three boys who were her main tormentors, "Ah, they've never really bothered learning my name before either. After all, mudblood's aren't human enough in their opinion to even have a name." she said flippantly as she picked up her quill once more and began to continue writing.

"Hmm," the younger boy hummed, "You are rather good at avoiding the original question I asked… On top of that you don't deem to be offended by the term mudblood since you have no qualms using it, are you even a muggle-born? You certainly don't act like one."

Smirking, Nicolasa risked looking at his face once more coyly, "I never once confirmed to those _coño madres_ that I was one, we just don't use that phrase to describe first-generation magicals in Spain."

Black seemed to mirror her smirk as he caught onto her to quiet deceit, "Your name?"

Nicolasa stared at the boy searchingly, the boy's body posture didn't scream deceit and she really couldn't see the harm in divulging her name to him, "Nicolasa Candelaria Santos, and I believe that you call ancient lines of magical family's purebloods, correct?"

"Yes." He stated plainly.

"Ah, then my family can be considered to be pureblood." She stated disinterestedly before turning back to her paper.

Black hummed contemplatively once more, "Why haven't you corrected them? I mean you can't exactly enjoy the way you are being treated by my housemates."

Nodding in agreement Nicolasa paused writing once more and looked at his forehead and agreeing, "I detest it."

"Then why?" he asked genuinely curious.

She chewed on her lip contemplatively before responding, "Because they are idiots. My tutors drilled me and my brother into being able to recognize all of the major influential families in Europe and Asia, it's standard for children to be taught this in Spain and my tutors told us that this was a standard practice in England as well."

The younger boy nodded in agreement, "That is true, but usually it is the clan heir who learns that."

Nicolasa nodded, "Yes, well, then they should have recognized my name. My father didn't necessarily raise us to prioritize blood purity, but that certainly doesn't mean that my family is any less ancient. The Santos family is the third oldest wizarding family in Spain and my mother's line was the most ancient family line before they died out with her passing… they were even royalty at some point!"

Black gaped in surprise, "That's…"

She gingerly rubbed her brow in frustration, "I've never been raised to believe myself to better than first-generation magicals since they are a needed factor so that magic doesn't die out, but that doesn't mean that I'm not proud of who I am… but I don't really care for English politics nor alliances, in my opinion, the English 'purebloods' have burned all ties they could have possibly made with the ancient lines of Spain."

"I see… that would be understandable." The boy contemplated, "But would it not be easier to just come clean with your heritage, the Slytherin's would no longer treat you as they do if they knew."

Sighing, she looked back up, "I don't want to. Frankly, I hate all of them with a burning passion, and I don't want to be treated differently just because I'm not a muggle-born… that's just not the kind of person I am."

Black smirked in amusement, "Gryffindor."

"Yes. I guess I am." She snorted avoiding his gaze expertly as she began to write her essay once more.

"You're strange. You know that don't you?" Black questioned her rhetorically, "I wouldn't have noticed you to be honest if you weren't. You seem to make a constant effort to not make friends, you avoid most human contact… Hell, you refuse to look most people in the eye, including my own."

Nicolasa giggled nervously, "Well aren't you an observant little boy?" she teased bitterly, "I have my reasons." She promised morosely before looking behind him in determination, "If you'll excuse me, I have an essay to finish." She stated softly as the younger boy stood from his seat and began to walk away.

"Goodbye Regulus Black, _may God have mercy on your soul._ " She whispered in Spanish as she recalled the horrific vision she'd seen of the boy in front of her dying.

 ** _O~o~O~o_**

 _Dear Luka,_

 _I'm glad you're feeling better Lu-Lu, but honestly only you would catch the flu right after the holidays pass! The twins and Hiro have been keeping me updated this entire time, and yes they told me that you puked all over you're precious Yuki-kun (3)…_

 _Hehehe, I know that I shouldn't be laughing at the fact that you vomited all over your crush, but I can't help it! You don't mess up nearly enough for me to gather up a sufficient amount of blackmail._

 _I do hope that your relationship with him hasn't deteriorated though, that would be dreadful… but if it has, then Yuki is a dick and doesn't deserve someone as loving and amazing as you._

 _Poor Mr. Filch has been suffering dreadfully because of the cold, I've taken to casting heating charms on his robes so that he won't freeze… but that man is so stubborn and won't tell me when he's cold! Do you think it's possible for me to customize his winter cloak so that it has a permanent heating charm in it? Hmmm, I'll definitely have to look into it. Maybe it can be done with runes…._

 _Mrs. Olive has been trailing me lately so I haven't had many confrontations with those pesky Slytherin boys in my year since the start of the second semester, but unfortunately, there is this annoying girl in Slytherin who is also in my year that has been cornering me in the girls' laboratory. It's rather frustrating since I haven't done anything to warrant her grievance or ire. Her name is Dolores Umbridge, and brother she is a complete toad! (I swear! She physically looks like a toad!)_

 _Anyway, you'll be surprised to learn that I, Nicolasa Candelaria Santos, have had the longest conversation in my history with someone who is my age. Do you remember when I told you about that dream/vision about Regulus Black? He was that boy whose dying words were only heard by his house-elf… Don't worry! I avoided eye and physical contact with him (you're such a worrywart, if you're not careful you will be all wrinkly before you're thirty)._

 _So yeah, I spoke to him for a total of fifteen minutes! We didn't speak about much, but he did point out my 'strangeness.' He said that the only reason he noticed me was because I was a self-made outcast that avoided human contact… the boy is pretty sharp Lu, he even picked up the fact that I don't look certain people in the eye. I also ended up admitting to him that I wasn't a first-generation witch… mostly out of frustration since he mentioned having heard of me from Mulciber, Rosier, and Avery before…_

 _It kind of makes me uncomfortable that he's been paying so much attention to me… Do you think I'm being paranoid Lu? Maybe I'm just used to being overlooked by my peers…_

 _Hahaha, let's leave this letter off with a lighter note! How's the -snorts- band going? Have you boys been able to have any practice since the start of the term? I mean I know that exams are coming up for you guys soon, so you might not be able to put in a lot of practice, but if you four want to be ready or any gigs this summer you need to keep practicing! What did you end up naming the band again? Sound Four?_

 _Hehe! I know I shouldn't laugh, but it's too cute!_

 _Maybe it's just me who can't take you guys seriously because I'm your little sister… I honestly can't see you guys as 'cool' since I've seen you all at your worst… don't worry, if you guys go big I won't ever sell out your most embarrassing moments to the press… maybe…._

 _With Lots of Love,_

 _Niki_

* * *

 **~THREE MONTHS LATER~**

As always, her father was right. Nicolasa hadn't figured out what her animagus form was until after the Yule Holidays… four days after to be exact. And when she had finally made out what her form was, Nicolasa wasn't ashamed to admit that she had cried.

Boo.

Her precious stuffed dog from her first life, her only friend and companion, her trustworthy and ever-present confident….

It seemed that she was still looking out for her in this life as well since that was what she turned out to be. She was a snow-white retriever.

Of course right after the shock of finding out her form had worn off, she had quickly wrote to her father and Luka to inform them. Her father had congratulated her and had sent her a bunch of books about her breed of dog and Luka, after praising his younger sister for discovering her form, had teased her about being a 'mangy mutt.'

Overall, Nicolasa would be a dirty liar if she said she wasn't happy with the final outcome of her form. In fact, she was downright enthusiastic. She hadn't felt this way about anything before, other than her music that is. She spent the majority of her time researching about her animal form when she wasn't completing homework assignments or avoiding pesky Slytherin's.

At the moment she was curled up on comfortable chair in her common room, it was a Hogsmede weekend and all of her year mates, as well as the older students, were all exploring the small village on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest… so the room was fairly empty and quiet. Only a couple of first-years were breaking the silence from where they were huddled up on the other side of the room. She was reading and marking notes with a pencil on the margins of her dog anatomy book.

Nicolasa glanced up from the page she was currently reading when the portrait door opened and Remus Lupin entered quietly with his second-hand DADA textbook slung underneath his arm. Lupin was the more studious/mature and laid-back member of Potter's group, he was also probably the brains behind the more elaborate pranks the group played but he was also the kindest member of the group and was often seen helping out younger years with their assignments… He was probably a shoe-in for the Perfect position in two years if he kept up his grades and continued behaving well. But the boy was also weary... that was probably due to his furry condition more than anything else.

Turning back to her book, Nicolasa didn't notice that the taller boy had made his way beside her chair until he spoke up making her jump.

Lupin chuckled well naturedly, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

Swallowing the lump in her throat she nervously looked up at the boy through her thick reading glasses, avoiding the boy's amber eyes, "Ah, it's fine…" she mumbled, "Is there something that you needed help with?" she asked, wanting her brief conversation with the kind-hearted boy to end as quickly as possible.

She had nothing against werewolves, after all she practically adored Hiro and he suffered from the same ailment (except his condition had been inherited due to both of his parents being wolves as well rather than being bitten like she suspected Lupin had been), but she knew that wherever Lupin went… his friends were sure to follow.

"Oh, well there was nothing in particular that I wanted to talk about… I just wanted to introduce myself, I mean I know that you're in my year but we've never really talked before have we? Anyway, I'm Re-"

"Remus Lupin." Nicolasa cut him off, "I know, I might not be the most social person in the world but I made it my business to at least know all of my year mates." She explained hurriedly wanting the conversation to end.

The boy blinked in surprise before smiling sheepishly, "Ah, yes… I'm a bit ashamed to admit that you have me at a disadvantage here, since I don't know your name…"

Nicolasa smiled gently before looking at the fireplace, "My name is Nicolasa Santos. It's been a pleasure to formally meet you." She said softly as the portrait opened once more and the rest of Lupin's friends stumbled into the common room loudly.

She quickly stood from her chair and turned to the other boy and smiled sadly at him once more, it was a shame… Nicolasa wouldn't have minded befriending the other boy (even if he also seemed to be destined to die when he was older), but he seemed to be happy with the loyal group of friends he'd made, " _Goodbye Remus Lupin, I hope that this life treats you well, you deserve it. After all, not many people are given this difficult slot in life, little wolf cub._ " She finished softly in Spanish before making her way up the stairs to the girls' dorm rooms for some peace and solitude.

It was better not to get involved with the other boy. No matter how much her heart ached for any form of companionship with someone her age.

* * *

 **~FIVE MONTHS LATER~**

Nicolasa let her fingers gracefully move across the neck of her beloved acoustic guitar as she softly strung a tune. The only sound in her train compartment came from the guitar as the Scotland countryside sped by her in the window.

She began humming along with the soft tune before opening her mouth and beginning to sing in a soft and tender voice,

"Somethin' in your eyes makes me wanna lose myself

Makes me wanna lose myself in your arms

There's somethin' in your voice makes my heart beat fast

Hope this feelin' lasts the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been

And how long I've been so alone

And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along

And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks down a long dark street

And a siren wails in the night

But I'm alright 'cause I have you here with me

And I can almost see through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me

And how long I've waited for your touch

And if you knew how happy you are making me

I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong…."

She continued humming softly as she stroked the strings of the guitar gingerly expertly ignoring the burning on the tips of her fingers, this was the price she had to pay for not having played the guitar in a while. This was one of her favorite songs to play on the guitar, it was a sad love song that had always rang a chord with her when she was Rosie and still seemed to impact her as Nicolasa. Besides it was a rather appropriate song to sing at the moment.

She was currently on the Hogwarts express on her way home for the summer, and to be honest she couldn't wait. Apparently, her father had a huge surprise for the siblings, and the last time he had a huge surprise for them he had bought Quico… so Nicolasa couldn't wait to find out what he had up his sleeves this time.

Smiling mischievously to herself she fluidly changed the chords she was playing as she transitioned into a different song from her past/future,

"I'm staring out into the night,

Trying to hide the pain.

I'm going to the place where love

And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.

And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old,

So I'm going home.

Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,

The closer I get to you.

I've not always been the best man or friend for you.

But your love remains true.

And I don't know why.

You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,

'Cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all,

And then some you don't want.

Be careful what you wish for,

'Cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old.

I said these places and these faces are getting old,

So I'm going home.

I'm going home."

If there was a more appropriate song to sing at the moment, she would bite her own tongue. The rest of the ride to Kings Cross station was spent similarly as she let herself immerse in music, the only time she was disturbed was by the woman pushing the trolly, Nicolasa couldn't wait to be home.

* * *

 **4789 Words**

* * *

 **Notes** :

The song 'Feels Like Home To Me' is sung by Edwina Hayes and you can listen to it through YouTube or through this link: watch?v=Ym9wFydQFYc

'Home' s sung by Chris Daughtry and you can listen to it through YouTube or through this link: watch?v=0Ytod23dBeI

Also as a side note if any of you are curious as to how I have imagined Nicolasa's singing voice to sound like… I'd like to think that she sounds like Daniela Andrade, if you've never heard of her… search her up! She has one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard! She was an account on YouTube that you can find under her name, this is the song that got me hooked on her, it's called 'En La Vie En Rose' and you can find it through this link: watch?v=3Ba_WoSZXvw


	7. Chapter 7: Fourth Year

Chapter 7: Fourth Year

* * *

"Sup." = English

 _'Hi…' = Thought_

 _"Hey." = Spanish_

 _"What's up!?" = Japanese_

 **~~'How's it going?'~~ = Vision**

* * *

Mexico.

Their father had taken them (as in herself, Luka, Akio, Akira and Hiro) to Mexico as a surprise vacation destination… and it had been absolutely amazing! They had visited the various ruins of the ancient civilizations, and soaked up the sun at the warm beaches… They had visited the Mexican Magical Community and bought a butt-load of books and trinkets.

It had honestly been an amazing summer, they had even gotten Quico a female doggy companion. Leia, named after Princess Leia from the Star Wars movies, she was a golden brown Cocker Spaniel that reminded Nicolasa of Lady from the children's movie 'Lady and the Tramp.' The pup was extremely sweet and loved, being a pampered pooch, she even got along well with Quico who was still very rambunctious despite the fact that he was almost two years old.

Hiro had been completely amazed by the Mexican community, to be honest all of them were, magical creatures of all kinds could be seen roaming the dirt streets openly and without a care. Apparently, discrimination against non-human magicals was practically unheard of in Central and South America and was seen as a very backward practice.

The twins had been enthralled by the different products that were available in Mexico for pranking, they were particularly enthused by the different kinds of fireworks that were available, and the two of them had spent a small fortune on buying a bunch of them. Nicolasa secretly approved, while Luka and Hiro moaned at their own misfortune.

She and Luka, of course, had been particularly amazed by their music. The different sounds and beats they could make were simply amazing and beautiful, the few mariachi performances they had seen had left them breathless. Overall the entire experience had been amazing and exotic.

The four boys had even had a couple of gigs where they performed in restaurants or on the streets where they would get free publicity. They sang mostly songs in Spanish, as it is the dominant language in Mexico, but they also sang a few songs in English and Japanese. Nicolasa had even been pulled onto the stage a couple of times to sing the female leads in a couple of their songs.

It had been an enlightening experience for all of them; Mexico had made them all, in a way, more confident. If only it never had to end with the start of the school year once more. At least for her.

Nicolasa groaned pitifully as the train began to pull away from the station, she stood by the window and waved 'goodbye' to her father, who as always, waved tearfully back until the platform disappeared in the distance.

She fiddled absentmindedly with her birdie ocarina as she continued to contemplate her more than amazing summer.

Luka was already able to make a complete transformation into his animagus form, he had finished the final steps for the transformation two days into the summer break and had spent the majority of his time riding her shoulders when they hadn't been doing anything too interesting in Mexico. They had also officially named his Capuchin counterpart… He was hereby called Kaizoku whenever he was transformed into his smaller, cuter counterpart. Kaizoku is the term used for pirate in Japanese, as the siblings had decided to name him in honor of Jack the White-Fronted Capuchin from the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movies that he resembled.

She had already started partial transformations of her animagus form under the careful guidance of her father. He had proudly proclaimed, much to her joy, that she'd be able to fully transform by her birthday… Thankfully a week after her birthday they always had a week and a half off for Spring Break and she'd be able to transform completely for the first time with her dad by her side.

Nicolasa kicked off her flip flops and pulled her legs under her before leaning against the windowpane, she might as well meditate to pass the time until they pulled into the Hogsmede station.

* * *

 **~A LITTLE OVER A MONTH LATER~**

Halloween was coming up soon and Hogwarts was abuzz with joy and mischief. Nicolasa was already knee-deep in assignments and had been feeling ever thankful for her private alcove on the seventh floor. Otherwise, she would never have time to herself… not because she had any particular friends or acquaintances that would distract from schoolwork, but because of Potter and Evans.

Potter had apparently fallen in love with the beautiful red-haired girl at the end of their third year and was absolutely adamant in scoring a date with the girl. Evans on the other hand would probably prefer to snog the Giant Squid in the Black Lake than go on a date with him…. Unfortunately, that meant that there were often _major_ clashes between the two of them, and it certainly didn't help that Potter and his merry little gang hadn't let up on bullying Snape. In fact, it seemed almost as if it had gotten even worse with Potter's crush on Evans.

The Gryffindor common rooms were often compromised now due to their loud arguments, even the library wasn't completely safe! Thankfully the seventh floor was usually empty and the only visitors she ever had were Mr. Filch or Mrs. Olive, and that was only when they weren't busy trying to bust the Marauders.

The Marauders had become even more infamous this year and their pranks often affected all of the houses, even though the Slytherin's were often singled out overall.

"What can Tiki do for Ms. Niki!" her favorite Hogwarts house-elf chirped as she slipped into the kitchen.

Smiling gently at the female elf she responded, "Hello Tiki, I was just hoping to have lunch down here today."

Tiki's smile widened as she twisted her ears excitedly, "What would Ms. Niki like to eat!?"

"Hmm," Nicolasa hummed as the elf led her to a secluded table in the right corner in the room, "I hope you don't mind Tiki, but I was wondering if you could make me enchiladas with rice and beans…"

The elf's eyes grew wide as she bounced on her tiptoes, "Would Ms. Niki like Tiki to try the recipe yous gave Tiki?" she breathed out in anticipation.

Nicolasa smiled amusedly at her elfin friend, "Ah, yes. Only if it's not too much of a bother."

Tiki gasped, "Oh it's never a bother to help Ms. Niki!" she admonished her, "Would Ms. Niki like to drink her regular juice?" she questioned.

Smiling sheepishly she placed her saddlebag on the table, "Yes, please Tiki."

The elf snapped her fingers and a cup of sweet mango nectar appeared before her instantly, "Tiki is going to go prepare Ms. Niki's food now, it'll be done soon!" she chirped before turning to the kitchen to complete her meal.

"Thank you, Tiki!" she called after the elf in gratitude only to receive a wide smile in return.

Nicolasa had met Tiki when she first discovered the kitchens, she had been the only elf to approach her initially, and they had strung up a quick friendship after Tiki realized that Nicolasa treated her as an equal. On top of that, the small female elf had been beside herself with joy when Nicolasa instructed her to call her by her nickname Niki, as the spelling of their names were quite similar. Nicolasa often enjoyed coming by the kitchens and learning as well as exchanging recipes with Tiki when she wasn't too swamped with work. She was also on relatively good terms with the other Hogwarts house-elves as a result of her friendly nature with Tiki, but whenever she visited the kitchens they usually let Tiki attend to her needs (the little elf was a possessive little thing, much to her amusement, and didn't like sharing her with her fellow elves).

After she had finished eating her lunch and had had a nice chat with Tiki, Nicolasa left the kitchens feeling refreshed and full. Quickly deciding that spending the rest of her Sunday afternoon in her alcove was the best place to complete any last-minute assignments, she let her feet guide her to her destination with ease.

* * *

 **~TWO MONTHS LATER~**

Nicolasa smiled widely as she raced the boys down the stairs of her childhood home, tripping and pushing against each other competitively as they each tried to reach the beautifully decorated evergreen tree first.

 _"HA! I win!_ " Hiro chirped triumphantly, his amber eyes shining happily as he brushed a lock of dark brown hair out of his face.

Akio pouted, " _Humph! That's only because you had a head start! Right Kira?_ " he asked his counterpart inquiringly.

" _Exactly!_ " Akira agreed before nodding decisively, " _Besides Nicolasa here tripped me!_ " he whined 'pitifully'.

" _Oh, you poor baby…_ " Nicolasa crooned teasingly causing Hiro and Luka to start laughing.

Luka grinned mischievously before patting the twins' shoulders patronizingly, " _There, there…. no need to be sore losers right?_ "

Giggling under her breath, Nicolasa looked up to the top of the stairs when she heard the familiar comforting chortle of her father.

 _"You five sound like a wild herd of animals when you go down those stairs."_ He teased good-naturedly as he seated himself on the couch. Nicolasa smiled brightly before sitting on his lap ungracefully and kissing his cheek.

" _Morning Papi!_ " she chirped earning a loving smile from the man.

" _Good morning princessa._ " He replied after kissing her brow.

Luka pouted playfully as he plopped down on her lap, " _You guys are having a moment without me!"_ he whined as he pulled his arms over the two of them, " _Don't you guys love me too?"_ he 'cried.'

 _"Phfft! You idiot…_ " their father laughed fondly before lightly whacking him on the back of his head before pushing both of his children off his lap, " _I'm going to need coffee if I'm going to have to put up with your ridiculousness this early in the morning._ " He stated getting up determinedly only to stop as he stared at the three other teens standing in the living room.

Hiro, Akio and Akira were giving him identical puppy eyes as they held their arms open pleadingly as they waited for a hug… Nicolasa watched bemusedly as her father 'sighed' and opened his arms in acceptance while the three teens smiled widely and pounced.

" _He loves me more!_ " Hiro hissed teasingly, his Spanish had been improving by leaps and bounds, at the twins as they gasped in indignation and clung on tighter to her dad.

 _"Nuh-uh! He loves us best!_ " they cried in unison as Luka began laughing hysterically in the background.

Her father just laughed before rubbing their hair, " _You guys are all idiots!"_ he teased as he made his way to the kitchen.

" _But we're your idiots Mr. S!_ " the three crowed to his back before they tackled her still laughing brother to the floor, only for all four of them to be tackled by a very energetic Quico. Nicolasa just laughed in amusement as Leia jumped onto the couch and sat beside her as she grinned doggily and began begging for pets.

" _Hey your cousins are going to be flooing over soon for breakfast and present opening…_ " her father reminded them as he took a sip from his coffee.

She nodded absentmindedly before looking up at him inquiringly, " _Oki! Hey Papi are Uncle German and Tulio coming over as well?"_

Luka looked up from where he was trying to fend off his friends from smothering him, _"Oh that's right, we haven't seen little Miguel since he was born a week before school restarted during the summer…"_

 _"Oh, I remember that… Luka, your baby cousin was adorable._ " Hiro chirped as he tugged on Luka's hair earning a painful screech from the older boy and a snicker from the twins as they attacked Luka's sides.

" _Get off me you cowards! And fight like a man!"_ Luka whined as he elbowed Quico gently when the dog began licking his ear, Hiro graciously let up on his attack.

" _Aww are you growing soft Hiro-chan!"_ the twins teased the werewolf in unison earning a soft playful, growl before Hiro tackled them to the ground.

 _"You boys need to be more careful, or one of you are going to lose an eye!"_ her father chastised them as they continued scuffling before looking at her contemplatively, _"I believe that they may be coming over, but they are first time parents so it's possible that it won't be until later_." He remarked.

Nicolasa couldn't help but feel an overwhelming amount of love for her family at the moment… especially after Akira accidentally rolled onto poor Sock's tail causing the disgruntled cat to lash out against all five them… as he started chasing the four boys and Quico around the living room all the while spitting out vicious hisses. She sincerely hoped that her father was able to snap a picture of that.

* * *

 **~THREE MONTHS LATER~**

Nicolasa sighed in frustration; she'd been peacefully practicing her partial animagus transformation (as she wouldn't be able to shift completely just yet without supervision) in an abandoned classroom close to the Hufflepuff Common Room before her double Potions class when she had realized that she only had a couple of minutes left to make it to the classroom. Unfortunately, the potions lab was not only in the dungeons where the Slytherin common room was located but… she also shared that class with the Slytherin's, specifically the three pureblood boys who had decided to make her school life less than pleasant on a regular basis.

"Hello mudblood… did you think you'd be able to give us the slip, little mudblood?" Avery asked cruelly as he smirked down to her.

Inwardly, Nicolasa sighed. Her confrontations with the Slytherin boys in her year well as the boys above her year were becoming more frequent. It was relatively harmless in the sense where they would just corner her and call her uncreative names as well as jinx her… but it was starting to wear her down.

Rosier laughed, "Reginald, the mudblood is too stupid to even follow through with that kind of difficult thought process!" he exclaimed lightly.

Avery chuckled in response, "Too true Evans… Hmm, I believe we have potions now yes?"

"That's accurate; we might as well get this over and done with. Don't want to waste any of our precious time on the mudblood now do we?" Rosier asked cruelly as the boys smirked maliciously.

Nicolasa tightened her grip on her bag as she waited for the two Slytherin's to finish enacting their form of 'just' punishment. She was beginning to feel fed up with the entire situation. The taunting, hexes, jinxes and malicious pranks played onto her were beginning to destroy her self confidence.

' _You can't let them see that they are getting to you…'_ she instructed herself harshly, _'Don't let them see you cry… Don't let them win!_ ' she thought as Rosier cast a painful boil curse on her face.

Quickly her face was littered with the red boils and some popped painfully as her current tormentors laughed uproariously before they turned their backs to her and made their way to the potions classroom. As soon as they made their way around the bend she quickly began running the familiar halls to the infirmary. This wasn't the first time Rosier and Avery had cursed her using the same hex, and Nicolasa knew that the faster she received attention the less painful it would be for the boils to heal.

"Oh dear, not again." Madam Pomfrey sighed as she walked into the infirmary.

She smiled sadly up at her before grimacing as another boil popped. Madam Pomfrey quickly led her to one of the empty beds before turning around to get the proper removal potion.

"Here you go dearie. Drink up." She commanded her softly as Nicolasa looked at the potion in minor disgust before downing it all in one gulp. "I simply do not know why you always end up here at least once a week." The woman mumbled angrily, "Are you really not going to tell me what happened this time?" she asked in mild exasperation.

Nicolasa smiled at her gently, "I'm sure it was an accident Madam Pomfrey."

The woman scoffed, "Right. And last week when you came to me with a fractured ankle, I suppose that was another one of those 'accidents' right?"

She just shrugged innocently as the woman seemed to become more frustrated in front of her eyes, "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on Nicolasa." Madam Pomfrey sighed.

"There's nothing going on." Nicolasa replied calmly giving the older woman a false smile.

* * *

 **~ONE MONTH LATER~**

She did it.

She had finally completed her animagus transformation. During her short spring break, she'd finally been able to shift into her animal form under the careful guidance of her father. Afterward, the two of them had spent the rest of the afternoon in their forms in celebration as they played together along with Quico and Leia, who were very happy to have a new doggy friend. Her father had been extremely proud of his little _princessa_ and had made it a grand event by inviting over her Aunt and Uncles as well as all of her cousins (who were also on break) in order to properly celebrate.

Luka, Hiro, Akio and Akira were disappointed to have missed it, they had started school two days' before she'd been able to complete her transformation, but they had sent her a bunch of gag gifts over the mail to congratulate her…. Luciana had teased her relentlessly, much to Diego's embarrassment as well as Sofia's and Mateo's amusement, over the hot pink dog collar that the twins had sent with a tag attached to it proclaiming her to be their property. Luciana had insisted that the twins were beyond kinky and then wished to inquire where they got such a trinket so she could procure her own.

Poor Diego's face got so red that she'd been afraid her poor cousin would faint… but the poor boy must have gotten used to his older sister's antics by now, right? Apparently not, as Diego actually passed out when Luciana asked if she'd ' _had hot, passionate kinky sex with those twins already?_ ' because if they were available, she was ' _willing to jump them_ ' herself.

Nicolasa let her fingers move fluidly across the strings of her acoustic guitar as she strummed a soft tune absentmindedly before starting the intro of 'I'll Follow You into the Dark.'

"Love of mine

Someday you will die

But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light

Or tunnels, to gates of white

Just our hands clasped so tight

Waiting for the hint of a spark

If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule

I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black

I held my tongue as she told me, son

Fear is the heart of love, so I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see

From Bangkok to Calgary

The soles of your shoes are all worn down

The time for sleep is now

It's nothing to cry about

Cause we'll hold each other soon

The blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

I'll follow you into the dark"

She finished softly as she looked out into the Black Lake. It was the end of April and although the Scottish weather was just starting to warm up, Nicolasa had still bundled herself up and decided to spend a day basking in the sun. She was sitting in her favorite spot beside an old willow; she was a bit far off from the castle so it was a fairly private and secluded place from the hustle of the castle and its residents.

Nicolasa began to play another song as she thought back to Luka's last letter.

 ** _O~o~O~o_**

 _Dear Niki,_

 _I can't believe that I'm already starting my last year!_

 _God how time flies!_

 _Anyway, the teachers have been piling on an unbelievable amount of homework onto us in order to 'prepare' us for the real world. To be honest I think the twins and I are going to open a music store after graduation. We've been saving up for a while now, and to be honest, if I'm going to dedicate myself to a career for the rest of my life… it's going revolve around music._

 _I wrote to Dad about it and he agrees with me. (I think it's mostly because he wants me to be happy...) Anyway, what we were thinking is that we would sell instruments and offer music lessons as well. But because all of us, I am including Hiro in this as he has expressed his desire to work with us when he graduates next year, still want to play our own music... So, we're thinking of keeping the band going and doing gigs at night so they don't interfere with store hours._

 _Hey, and you can even help us out at the store during your breaks! It's going to be amazing! (And don't complain I can practically hear your disapproval from all the way over here!)_

 _We're planning on opening the store up in Spain since Akira and Akio desperately want to get out of Japan (they were officially disowned by their parents three days ago when they played a small prank on the heiress of a 'potential' ally and now they want nothing to do with them). You should write to them soon baby sis, they need to remember they're not alone. Dad already offered to pay for the rest of their schooling as well as offer them lodging after we graduate._

 _Don't worry, I already sent a howler to their parents… those assholes sincerely deserved it (I hope it went off in front of 'important' company)._

 _Hiro is feeling a bit anxious about being on his own next year so the twins and I have been reassuring him as much as we can… Do you remember that conversation we had about cell phones and connected reflective mirrors? I was thinking of making it my final Ancient Runes/Sealing project… I'll take the idea of the connected mirrors, but instead of there being just a pair, they'll be various mirrors that it can be connected to… they'll also be designed to look like a phone so that they can (eventually as the cell phone has yet to be invented, kami I miss my Samsung) be used in front of muggles. It's a pretty interesting concept don't you think?_

 _It kind of reminds me of your idea of ripping off the iPod and creating your own wizarding version by using omnioculars and scopes as the base….. I think that's something you should look into little sister, you could be rich! We'll even give you free advertising in the store when you finish the final project!_

 _Oh… I almost forgot to mention this but…. I have a BOYFRIEND!_

 _Hehehe, shocking right?_

 _His name is Nekozawa Kuroichi…. And sis, he is beyond fine... On top of that, he treats me with respect. Akio and Akira were the ones to initially introduce us and even Hiro seems to like him after Kuroichi-kun told him he wasn't prejudiced against werewolves or other magical creatures (and actually meant it!). Kuroichi-kun is in my grade but I had never really interacted with him before (we only have one coinciding class)…. He's super sweet, I think you'd like him._

 _Anyway thanks for the Honeyduke's candy you sent me, the sweets from England are so different from the Spanish and Japanese ones… (Don't worry I sent you a couple of chocolates, Zilla's Famous Choco Balls, and your favorite marshmallow and vanilla beans)._

 _You sounded a little off in your last letter… is everything alright on your end? I know you told me that Mr. Filch was caught in one of the Marauders' more malicious pranks, but you sounded a bit more upset for it to be just about that… (By the way, I hope he feels better!)_

 _Well, orchestra is starting soon so I have to get going, I love you Niki! Write to me soon!_

 _With lots of Love,_

 _Luka 'Lu-Lu' Alexander Santos_

 _PS. I have the biggest surprise for you this summer! It's going to be so amazing that you'll not only love me forever but you will worship me for the rest of your life! :)_

 ** _O~o~O~o_**

Her brother was getting older so fast, honestly sometimes Nicolasa felt as if he was so far away from her… and she wasn't thinking about the physical distance between them, though that wasn't anything to laugh about, but more of a mental way. He was finally feeling happier… while she was not.

She'd been feeling sadder and more- more…. God, it was even difficult for her to simply describe how she was feeling! She was unmotivated at times, and tired- tired of everything. School, her fellow peers, homework, teachers… just everyone. The worst part though was that Nicolasa knew. She knew that she was heading down a slippery and, at times, inescapable road. The previous night Evans had left her razor in the shower and Nicolasa had felt an unwavering want- no _need_ to run the blade across her skin… instead, she turned tail and ran.

Ever since puberty hit, she'd been using simple charms or beauty potions to rid herself of unwanted body hair. It was the first time she had seen a razor in her current lifetime… the first time that she'd seen a razor since she had _ended_ her first life as Rosie.

It was unnerving how much she _craved_ to litter her body with scars. Over the years she would often trace the 'invisible' scars on her arms when she was feeling anxious or upset, she'd _missed_ them in weird morbid fashion… She had a chance to regain them once more…. But could she put herself through that hell once more? She had a family that cared for her now, it- it wasn't _necessary_ anymore. And yet she couldn't help but wish she had picked up Evans' razor that morning and traced the familiar scars onto her skin.

Merlin, she was so _fucked_ up.

* * *

 **4431 Words**

* * *

 **Notes:**

The song 'I Will Follow You Into The Dark' is sung by Daniela Andrade and you can listen to it through YouTube or through this link: watch?v=uXxTRnxmY-c

Also as a side note if any of you are curious as to how I have imagined Nicolasa's singing voice to sound like… I'd like to think that she sounds like Daniela Andrade, if you've never heard of her… search her up! She has one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard! She was an account on YouTube that you can find under her name, this is the song that got me hooked on her, it's called 'En La Vie En Rose' and you can find it through this link: watch?v=3Ba_WoSZXvw


	8. Chapter 8: Fifth Year,Nothing's the Same

Chapter 8: Fifth Year, and Nothing was the Same Ever Since…..

* * *

"Sup." = English

 _'Hi…' = Thought_

 _"Hey." = Spanish_

 _"What's up!?" = Japanese_

 **~~'How's it going?'~~ = Vision HERE!**

* * *

Nicolasa was _not_ at all excited for school that year… after all she'd be taking her OWL's as a Fifth year student and she knew for a fact that she was extremely bad under pressure. For some unknown reason she would always cave under pressure and promptly forget everything she had learned and studied. Luka had tried to futilely reassure her over the summer break that she was just over reacting, after all they were prodigies of sorts and this definitely wouldn't be the first exam, nor OWL examination, she'd ever taken before.

She simply wasn't convinced that everything would go down smoothly… Nicolasa just had a horrible feeling about this upcoming year that she just couldn't shake off.

Since Hogwarts unfortunately didn't offer music classes to their students, Nicolasa had basically been doing independent study for music all on her own. Their music instructor, Senora Lucero, had taught her and Luka how to read music notes and how to play the instruments of their choice, would send them homework and assignments to complete while they were away. Through the use of Playback Spheres (they were basically a crystal ball looking device that worked as a muggle tape recorder, unfortunately they could only hold one single recording at a time), she would sent her progress to her teacher and be graded accordingly.

She diligently practiced with her ocarina's, guitar and ukulele daily (the only instrument she couldn't really practice with was the piano as she couldn't exactly bring the grand piano from her home to school with her at the beginning of the school year, Luka on the other hand was lucky that his school had a music program and had an abundance of different instruments including the piano)… the previous year, after talking it over with Senora Lucero, she had taken her music OWL's earlier than most did that summer, just before their family vacation to Mexico… Of course, much to her relief, she had passed with flying colors for all of the instruments, despite the fact that she'd only been playing the ukulele for a year and half.

Luka had been trying to use the results of her Instrumental OWL's as a sign that she'd do fine during the exams, but Nicolasa didn't necessarily agree with her brother on that front. Music was her passion, it was her one true talent in this life and she passed that exam because she simply couldn't imagine not being able to play her music. It was an inconceivable thought in her opinion. Simply not possible.

That summer, while not having gone on another wild vacation like the previous year, was just as amazing in its own way. Luka had somehow been able to procure extremely expensive tickets to see Queens live and the two siblings had come home from that concert sweaty, tired and voiceless… but overall they had been absolutely thrilled.

Seeing Freddy Mercury move across the stage erratically as he sang his heart and soul out had been moving and awe inspiring. Luka had confessed to her two days later, when they finally regained their voices after having screamed so much that their throats had been too sore to even speak, that he hoped that he would be able to touch people the same way that Mercury could one day through his own music. Nicolasa privately believed that he would, after all Luka was passionate when it came to music and it showed whenever he performed with his friends, and she had told her brother such… much to both of their embarrassment as their father had overheard their discussion and decided to glomp his 'cute, adorable and absolutely precious children' for being so supportive of each other.

In fact, the older man hadn't let go of them until they both decided to shift into their animagus forms and try escape from him that way… Of course, their father being who he was, simply shifted into a white African lion and chased them down. They grudgingly spent the rest of the afternoon being groomed and cuddled with by the smothering lion as Akio, Akira and Hiro laughed and took blackmail photos of their unfortunate situation.

Other than experiencing the concert, Nicolasa's summer had been one of kind in another fashion. She had finally found her familiars. The same way Socks was Luka's familiar and Blu was her father's familiar, she had finally met her own… and much to her and everyone else's surprise (as they had all believed that her familiar would end up being a dog because of her absolute adoration for them) they were a magical variation of weasels.

She had found them by chance in Magical Menagerie in Japan, the twins had to pick up a couple of items that had ordered in advance from the magical square in Kyoto, while she had been browsing and window shopping. Nicolasa had quite randomly walked into the shop and didn't stop until she was standing in front of them. Itachi (which quite literally meant weasel in Japanese) was a male Stoat (or short tailed weasel) and Hana (meaning flower in Japanese) was a female Stoat from a different litter, both weasels were covered creamy tan fur and had black tipped tails while their undersides were snow white. Itachi's face had black strands of fur intermingled with the brown making his face appear overall darker in comparison to Hana's as the white underbelly fur ended at the top ridge of her cheeks (making her seem to have cute white puffy cheeks in comparison to Itachi's mean looking disposition).

The two stoats had been sharing their tank peacefully, which was one of the main differences the magical variant of the stoat had with its non-magical counterpart (regular short tailed weasels did not share their den's with the same sex, males had a large range of territory to protect which surround the females much smaller territory, normally the two sexes would only come into contact with one another during the mating season… as they were not monogamous the litter of weasel often have different fathers and the male stoat have nothing to do with the child/kit-rearing of their offspring). Magical Stoats mated for life, and the males were quite involved with the raising of their kits… they were also more intelligent compared to normal weasels and often made terrific familiars due to their protective and territorial natures.

Overall, Nicolasa had been thrilled with the two new additions. Both of the weasels were still young when she bought them (but thankfully they weren't blind any longer) and already had their milk teeth, Leia and Quico had been fascinated by the two small weasels at first and Leia had taken to mothering them whenever she could (much to the entire family's amusement). Socks on the other hand treated the new arrivals as he treated other cats… he barely acknowledged their existence unless they approached him first, then he would treat them with contempt while sending anyone passing by pleading looks when the two kits would burrow themselves into his side. Luka had teasingly began to call Socks 'Mama' whenever he'd see his poor familiar in that situation, which would naturally earn him a narrow eyed glare and an indignant hiss from the grey stripped cat.

Secretly, Nicolasa was quite pleased that although fifth year was going to be quite a stressing time for her… she wouldn't be completely alone as she would always have her two familiars by her side for company. She couldn't wait to introduce them to Mr. Filch and Mrs. Olive, she had a feeling that the old cat would love the kits as she couldn't have kittens of her own due to a cruel prank played on her by unknown students before she even started attending Hogwarts.

Nicolasa watched contemplatively as the train began to reach the station at Hogsmede before looking down as Hana chirped quietly at her to get attention. Smiling lovingly down at the small weasel, she pet her gingerly on the head before doing the same to Itachi who had been looking on in stoic jealousy. The school year was starting, and for once Nicolasa could honestly say she wasn't alone.

~THREE WEEKS LATER~

Sometimes, Nicolasa really detested it when she was right. The 'silent' war going on in Britain was finally being acknowledged as such just the week previously when a Dark Lord presented himself and took credit for all of the killings and mysterious murders and disappearances occurring after a horrible massacre of a muggle village.

War was on the horizon.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, was being done.

Sure, the English Ministry assured the people through the Daily Prophet (complete rubbish) that they were doing all they could in order to exterminate the threat that Voldemort and his followers, called Death Eaters, were. Unfortunately the death toll of muggles, squibs and muggle-borns were rising, even half-bloods' weren't completely safe from the destruction.

Headmaster Dumbledore had assured them all after the news went out, that Hogwarts was completely safe from the war's destruction and as long as the students stayed inside of the protective wards they wouldn't fall into any harm. Her father had even contemplated in pulling her out of school when he'd learned of the war brewing in the English isles, that is until he'd learned of all of the safety measures Hogwarts had (Nicolasa might have also begged him into letting her stay there, she might not particularly all aspects of Hogwarts but it was her school… besides what's to say that she would have liked the new school he'd wanted to enroll her in, at least she already knew Hogwarts inside out). On the other hand, Luka was furious. He didn't want his baby sister anywhere near Hogwarts or Britain in general, and he'd been pissed when he had found out that she had basically begged her father not to pull her out.

He'd even informed Hiro and the twins of her not so peaceful interactions with the Slytherin's… they were incensed! Hiro had even threatened to break through the Hogwarts wards and beat her tormentors to a bloody pulp! The twins, on the other hand, had sent her a deceivingly cheerful letter describing how they would 'tear up the prejudiced assholes limb from limb.' In fact, all four of the older boys had yet to stop sending letters! She would receive one every day (from either boy) begging her to leave… But she just couldn't!

Nicolasa had a feeling that she was exactly where she was supposed to be, and her brother's incessant nagging wasn't going to change her mind.

Even if he had a point about the Slytherin's… who, after the reveal of Voldemort and his crazy Death Eaters, had been acting more 'righteous' and prejudiced against non-purebloods than before. In those rare moments when she would sit in the Great Hall for breakfast, they would sit on their table smugly while laughing and pointing out to each other the rising death tolls in the paper. It was disgusting.

They were also getting bolder and less cautious of where they picked on students…. Which definitely sucked for her. She'd already been in the Hospital Wing twice since the beginning of the school year and September wasn't even over yet! Itachi and Hana had taken to following her around at all times (even into class) after the second time she'd had to go to visit Madam Pomfrey, they often both huddled together in her side saddle and occasionally poked their heads out when they thought she was in danger. Thankfully, no one had really noticed the two weasels, as her bag was always hiding underneath her cloak, so her familiars hadn't, thankfully, been targeted by the Slytherin's just yet.

* * *

 **~TWO WEEKS LATER~**

The Marauders had become particularly vicious with their pranks against Slytherin after the initial reveal of Voldemort (and his twisted ideals revolving around blood purity) and had earned the 'marvelous' reputation of being the bane of Slytherin. Though, the House of Snakes weren't really taking it laying down either. They were cruel to all of the other Houses and began viciously tormenting other students who weren't 'pure enough' in their eyes.

It was pure chaos.

And the teachers seemed to be playing blind ostriches! They ignored the Marauders malicious pranks and the Slytherin's cruel ways unless they caught them red-handed… and even then they weren't punished very harshly. They were practically encouraging it in her opinion!

Mr. Filch, on the other hand, became more determined than ever to catch the Marauders as well as any misbehaving student roaming in his halls. Privately, Nicolasa was worried that the man would have an ulcer as he always seemed to miss the perpetrators by a few minutes… On top of that Mrs. Olive was getting old, and Nicolasa was positive that the old feline wouldn't be living much longer either. The cat was over twenty years old already.

"M-Ms. Santos," Mr. Ficlh's familiar voice grouched as he panted heavily while he leaned heavily on the wall, "Have you seen any-anyone run down this hallway?"

Nicolasa watched the older man in concern as he proceeded to explain that he had caught Potter and Black planting a prank in one of his utility closets and had been chasing them down for about ten minutes before he had run into her. Bending down, she cradled a limping Mrs. Olive to her chest as the old cat purred contently in her arms.

"I'm sorry Mr. Filch, but you are the first person I've encountered in this hall so far…" she said apologetically, "But I did hear some scuffling down that way!"

"Thank you Ms. Santos!" The old custodian smiled gratefully before he tried covering up his gratitude by frowning at her, "But that doesn't mean I like you girl! Got that?" he demanded.

She hid a smile into the cat's fur before looking up at him, "Of course ."

"Good." He grunted as he began to turn around to search the other hall, "Oh, and can you bring Mrs. Olive to my office. I'm afraid those hooligans hurt the poor dear." He stated as he began running down the hall while screaming angrily after the Black and Potter duo.

Looking down at Mrs. Olive, they exchanged a small amused glance before Nicolasa began walking towards her new destination. "It looks like Potter and Black are going to end up driving poor Mr. Filch insane, huh Olly?" she cooed to the cat lovingly as Mrs. Olive purred louder and rubbed her head gingerly on her face.

A high-pitched chirp brought her attention to the saddlebag as Itachi poked his head out inquiringly as he saw the old cat catching a ride in her arms. Mrs. Olive was as loud as an engine as her tail began swishing happily as she gently batted her paw at the weasel's direction. Giggling at Itachi's disgruntled expression she reassured her familiar, "Its fine Itachi, we're just taking Mrs. Olive home today… it appears those nasty Marauders hurt Olly today."

The weasel hissed menacingly while baring his teeth at the term Marauders as he looked around the hall imploringly, almost daring for said pranksters to appear before him. Hana popped her out next to her male counterpart as she looked around in alarm.

"Itachi, calm down they aren't here! You even startled poor Hana-chan with all that hissing." She admonished as the stoat visibly calmed at her claim, sometimes it scared her how intelligent her two familiars were… especially since Hana seemed to be glaring a hole into Itachi's head for getting her all worked up for no reason.

Shaking her head in amusement she continued making her way to Mr. Ficlh's office, all the while ignoring the chirps and mews coming from the two weasels and cat.

* * *

 **~TWO MONTHS LATER (DECEMBER 26)~**

Christmas this year been spectacular.

They had celebrated the joyous occasion over at her Aunt Juliana's house, per tradition, and had all gone home stuffed (slightly drunk) and smiling from cheek to cheek. Their youngest cousin Miguel was already one and had been wearing and adorable reindeer suit that she'd made sure to snap various pictures of (it would be perfect blackmail material when he eventually become an obnoxious teenager). Akio and Akira had dressed up as "Santa's" little helpers and had even been able to rope poor Hiro into dressing like red jolly man himself. Much to Nicolasa's and her entire family's amusement Luka had the honor of playing Mrs. Claus, and sweet Merlin, did that boy strut like he owned the place!

Nicolasa and Luciana had dressed up as female elves in honor of the holiday, while Sofia and Mateo were dressed as reindeers as well. Luciana had even managed to wrangle poor Diego into a gingerbread costume!

Now though, she was nursing a slight hangover as she watched her brother and her 'adopted' brothers (the twins and Hiro) moan in pain as they sluggishly ripped their presents open, all the while shushing each other when one of them got too loud. Nicolasa relaxed into the couch as a soft kiss planted itself on top of her head.

"Good morning princesa," her father murmured sleepily as he smiled lovingly at her before shooting the same sincere glance at the four teenage boys laying in a hazard fashion on the ground.

"Mornin' Papi!" she exclaimed as yawn escaped from her lips as he made his way to the kitchen, most likely to find a hangover potion.

"Noooooooo!" Akio whined pitifully as Leia started barking furiously from her perch on the window.

"Pleeaassee! Don't baaaark!" Akira finished as the twins simultaneously whimpered before grabbing their heads. Much to their dismay, Quico joined Leia and began barking as well.

Hiro laughed softly at the twins suffering before groaning himself and burying his face into his arms, "No laughing…" he murmured seriously, "My head might just explode."

Giggling at the boys' predicaments, Nicolasa decided to join in the fun and shifted into her animagus form.

Boo whined mockingly before jumping off the couch gracefully and pouncing on the closet person to her, whom just so happened to be Luka and howled, soon being joined by the two other dogs. She only stopped when she heard her fathers, alpha's, laughter coming from the doorway.

"Silly puppy!" he admonished teasingly, "Look at what you did?" he said as he pointed at the sniveling teens, "You made them cry!"

The white retriever lifted her paw and covered her eyes in mock sympathy before she was tackled by her very irate brother, "Boo!" he cried, "How could you howl in your poor brother's ear!"

"We're deaf!" the twins exclaimed in unison as they joined the dog pile.

Hiro ignored the squirming dog and threw himself over the twins, "You must be punished." He whispered seriously.

Whining pitifully, Boo's eyes lit up as she saw two small familiar figures come running up to her rescue. Itachi growled menacingly before pouncing on Akira's face, earning a high-pitched squeal of fear from said boy, Hana quickly followed his lead and began attacking Hiro. The four teens bolted away from Boo and began running away from her irate familiars as Socks calmly slinked into the room and curled up on top of Boo's back. The retriever snorted in amusement as Luka squeaked, in the most unmanly fashion, when Hana almost managed to chomp on his balls. Leia and Quico began barking happily as they saw their silly humans running away from the kits in horror, only adding to the rising chaos-

ROAR.

All of them stopped and looked up at the frustrated lion standing at the door way before looking at each other and running away. It was never wise to mess with their father before he'd had his morning coffee, much less when he was as hungover as he currently was… it was even more foolish to get on Rey's bad side when he was that irate.

None of them were ashamed to admit that they had bolted and began screaming when the lion gave chase.

Boo ran quickly as she picked up the kits without stopping before bolting out into the backyard through the doggy door as the screams behind her became more panicked as Rey growled once more.

It was official, she loved her family.

* * *

 **~ONE MONTH LATER (JANUARY 30)~**

Coming back to Hogwarts after the Yule Holiday's was always difficult for her. She spent the first week back sulking, per usual, in her corridor at the lack of human interaction that she had after being immersed with her family. Then again it was her own fault for pushing people away and remaining friendless…

That is if she didn't count Mr. Filch and Tiki (the house elf)… Though speaking of Mr. Filch, the man definitely liked her a lot more now, and he hadn't even denied it the last time they had run into each other in the hall way! For Christmas, Nicolasa had purchased the squib a three-month-old grey kneazele kitten that he had promptly named Mrs. Norris. Mrs. Olive was enamored with the kitten and treated her as if she came from her own loins; the kitten had even taken to following the old cat around Hogwarts as she quickly learned the ropes of how to catch annoying trouble makers. Nicolasa had made her a similar collar to the one she'd made for Mrs. Olive for the kitten (the only difference was that it was made to enlarge itself automatically as Mrs. Norris, or Oreo as she called her for short when Mr. Filch wasn't around to hear her call his precious kitten that).

Personally, she was just thankful that both cats had no problem with her animagus form… otherwise she was sure that both cats would have hated her with a passion, and that Mrs. Norris got along well with her familiars (who had become playmates of sorts with the her).

On the other hand Tiki had burst into tears when she received a new cookbook on Japanese cuisine (much to the jealousy of the other elves) and had taken to making a copious amount of food for her whenever she visited the kitchens.

School work itself was a completely different subject all together… The professors were currently bombarding them unrelentingly with copious amounts of assignments and practice exams for their upcoming OWLS, and Merlin was she tired!

It was unending.

Even the fifth year Ravenclaws, the designated house for the brainy people, could be seen succumbing under the pressure. It was stupid, in her opinion, for children of their age to already be worrying about their future careers… much less even know what it is they want to be! But by third year, they had already been prepping for it. Now it all depended on their grades, if they didn't get good grades they wouldn't be able to pass on to the next class level and if they didn't graduate without having taken certain classes they wouldn't be able to apply for the jobs they wanted.

She knew for a fact that Potter and Black, for example, both wanted to work in the DMLE office and eventually become aurors. But if they didn't take Potions, Transfiguration, Charms DADA or Herbology and passed with 'Outstandings' or 'Exceeds Expectations'… they wouldn't even qualify for recruitment. Luckily enough, the two teens did have working brains despite the fact that their efforts were usually put into pranks.

Nicolasa swore that she'd never return to England if the DMLE actually hired the duo, chaos would probably reign supreme if the two Gryffindor's ever got any sort of actual power.

Blankly watching on in silence as Black spoke to his partners in crime mischievously before the four of them broke out into laughter; Nicolasa closed her journal and slumped tiredly into the cushions of the chair she was curled up in.

The Gryffindor Common Room had a peaceful atmosphere despite the loud murmurs coming from all of her lounging peers.

A huddle of third year girls had commissioned a corner of the room for themselves as they gossiped quietly while they completed their homework. Boys from different years were crowded around the sole radio as they cheered for their favorite Quidditch team as the game progressed. The Marauders were sitting in front of the fireplace as they fooled around while Lupin tried to read his book. She could even spot Evans, whom was sitting at the other end of the room with her friends, scowl momentarily at Potter before turning back to her conversation. A group of first and second year students were sitting on the floor behind the couches as they played a giant game of exploding snap.

It was peaceful.

Nicolasa looked down as a small head poked her side; Hana nudged her side again before she began petting her female familiar gently as the stoat purred contently as curled into her side. Itachi was sleeping in her bed upstairs and seemed like Hana wasn't far off from dreamland as well.

A boisterous laugh caught her attention as she looked across the room and locked eyes with a merry Black.

 **~~'Now listen to me, I want you to take the others and get out of here.' An older and more ragged version of Sirius Black commanded seriously as he shielded a black haired and green-eyed teen behind him.**

 **A battle was taking place. Dark wizards were casting malicious spells at their light counterparts as a huddle of teenagers the same age as the green-eyed boy tried to regroup and find shelter behind some debris.**

 **An ominous archway stood in the center of the room as a white cloak of fog-or was it mist- billowed mysteriously inside of it, reminding Nicolasa of curtains.**

 **'What? No I'm staying with you!' the boy protested weekly. He was the spitting image of James Potter, that is if the arrogant prick was shorter and had a smaller build with emerald green eyes that could only belong to one other person. This was Harry, she just knew it!**

 **'Let me be there for you. Let me take it from here.' Black pleaded before the pillar they were hiding behind was hit by a spell almost knocking them off their feet.**

 **'Black!' a cruel voice growled angrily as a pale blond began firing spells at the duo. Another dark wizard apparated to the blonde's side as the four wizards began dueling. Black cast a strong stupefy at the man beside, whom she assumed to be, Lucius Malfoy as Harry cast expelimarmous at Malfoy.**

 **'Nice one James!' Black cheered, confusing the teen beside him for his father, Harry looked at Black in concern as he spelled Malfoy's other wand away from him knocking the wizard to the ground. Black looked crazed compared to the younger version of himself that Nicolasa knew.**

 **'Adevra Kerdava!' a high-pitched feminine voice, Bellatrix Black, screamed as a familiar green light hit Sirius in chest as he fell backward into the archway. Black's eyes were locked with Harry's as his body was consumed by the fog in the archway.**

 **Sirius Black was dead.~~**

Nicolasa gasped almost inaudibly as she teared her gaze away from Blacks. The older version of the happy teen in front of her was completely different from his counterpart… The older Black seemed skeletal and haunted, he had even confused his best friend for his son! That couldn't be normal…. And what the bloody hell was up with that creepy ass archway!?

Trying to slow her breathing as her heart pounded in her chest erratically, Nicolasa quickly scooped up Hana too her chest while clutching her journal in her other hand as she practically ran to the stairs for the girls dormitories.

"Hey Prongs, whose that girl?" Black asked behind her.

She could feel Potter's eyes scrutinizing her as she walked up the stairs, "I don't know Padfoot…"

"I don't recognize her." Pettigrew remarked, "Moony?"

Lupin must have looked up since he answered in a disbelieving voice, "That's Nicolasa Santos, she's in practically all of our classes." He deadpanned, she could imagine the kind werewolf rolling his eyes at his friends' lack of awareness.

"Really!?" Black exclaimed as the other two boys made similar sounds of surprise.

Nicolasa could feel their eyes practically burning her back as she sprinted up the rest of the steps and closed the door of her dorm before crawling under her covers.

* * *

 **~THREE WEEKS LATER (MARCH 15TH)~**

Dumbledore had given her special permission to witness her brother(s) cross the stage and graduate, as long as she kept up her grades and was back to school after the weekend, and it honestly was a magical moment that Nicolasa was positive that she had had to experience for herself.

The twins had crossed the stage together merrily as their formal yukatas swished behind them when Akio was called, much to their headmasters annoyance and barely concealed grudging acceptance, arm in arm before grabbing their counterparts diploma's and turning to the audience to blow them kisses of farewell.

"Now those are two pests I'm not ashamed to admit that we won't miss." the principal stated bluntly and gratefully as the twins simply shrugged and hugged the man they had gotten know quite well (they practically lived in the man's office during the school year) simultaneously ignoring the stoat man's discomfort, much to her and everyone else's amusement, as the twins simply skipped off the stage.

Beside Nicolasa her father chuckled as he tried to conceal proud tears that were threatening to fall down his face as he held up a special magical recorder, she and Luka had collaborated on to give him for Christmas the previous year, as he captured the moment.

When Luka was finally called he stood tall and confident, in fact he practically strutted on the platform as he made his way to receive his diploma, much to Nicolasa's, Hiro's and her entire family's amusement. It seemed that her dear brother was anything but shy, much like the twins, when he was on a stage. He was in his element.

Her father actually shed a couple tears as Luka sat in his seat again and when the graduating class threw their cone shaped hats (traditional with/wizard hats) into the air happily.

"Akira! Akio!" Nicolasa shouted happily as she spotted the twins in the crowd before pouncing the brothers and drawing them into a tight hug, "I'm so proud of you two scoundrels!" she teased good naturedly as they smiled mischievously down at her.

"Thanks imotou-chan!" they quipped together before they were pulled into a manly hug by Hiro.

"I never thought I'd see the day you two would walk down the stage and graduate." Hiro teased before Akira grabbed the younger boy into a headlock.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Akira asked in mock anger as he gave Hiro noogie.

"Are you implying that we not smart enough to graduate Hiro-chan?" Akio continued as he placed his hand imperiously on his hips.

"Boys, you let poor Hiro go!" her father admonished them with a bright smile as he pulled the identical teens into his arms firmly before pressing a kiss on the top of their heads, "I'm so so proud of you boys." He stated sincerely as he hugged them tightly once more, "Akio, Akira… you two may not be related to me by blood, but I have never felt so proud to be your father than this moment. Not even when you managed to mail me a urinal from the boys bathroom last year."

Nicolasa hugged Hiro's side lovingly as she heard the twins' breath hitch as they grabbed their dad into a fierce hug, "Thank you, Dad." They whispered hesitantly.

Her father drew out of the hug as he chuckled lovingly at them, "I love you boys too."

"What is this?" a familiar voice whined teasingly, "Are you guys all having a moment without me? The injustice, the betrayal… the treachery!" Luka exclaimed as he mock sobbed into his arms.

"Lu-Lu!" she chirped before pulling her beloved brother into a sandwiched hug between her and Hiro, "Congrats Onii-chan! You looked super cool up on the stage!" she praised lovingly as the older boy laughed warmly.

"Yea Onii-chan! You were so cool!" Hiro teased, "But seriously Luka, congrats! You finally get to leave all of this behind!"

"Haha, thanks Hiro!" he smiled sheepishly before being enveloped into a tender hug by his father.

"Look at you." He said in almost awe-like tone, "All grown up and graduated from high school… your mother would have been so proud." He stated before planting a kiss on his brow.

Luka blushed before smiling sadly, "You think so?"

"Ha! I know so!" he stated, "Though, knowing that woman she would have been more happy that you have friends that are as close to you as they are now!" their father said in amusement as he herded them towards the closest floo, "Now let's go home! We have a party to get to, and I just know that your Aunt and cousins have started without us!"

* * *

 **~THREE MONTHS LATER~**

He was gone.

And it was all her fault.

She should have never been born.

It wasn't fair.

He was too kind, and loving, and understanding…

He

Didn't

Deserve

To

Die.

And, Luka…

Poor, poor Luka who had his entire future ahead of him.

The Healers kept saying he wouldn't wake up.

She was alone.

She deserved death.

* * *

 **~FLASHBACK TO TWO WEEKS PREVIOUSLY~**

Nicolasa was extremely excited; the summer holidays were finally starting, and she was on her way to Kings Cross Station at that very moment to be picked up (she was diligently ignoring the fact that they had literally just pulled away from Hogsmede station). The small family of three that had recently expanded to let Akio and Akira (plus Hiro) in had decided to go on a celebratory vacation to New York, in honor of Luka's and the twin's graduation. They would be going straight from the train station to the airport and she couldn't wait to explore the Big Apple, as it had always been a dream of hers to go in her past life. But that wasn't necessarily the main reason she was so excited to get to the station that year… this was going to be the first time Luka was going to go pick her up with their dad!

He hadn't been able to experience dropping her off or picking her up since the school years in Japan started and ended at a different time than they did in England, so she was rather excited to see his reaction to the beautiful red train that brought her to Hogwarts. On top of that she would finally be able to point out her classmates to him, and after writing so many letters to him describing all of her observations she knew that he was dying to place faces to the names she'd given him over the years.

Hana and Itachi seemed to be able to sense her excitement and hadn't stopped chirping merrily as they skipped and chased each other around the compartment in an intense game of tag. Giggling at their adorable antics, Nicolasa hadn't noticed that there was someone standing at her compartment door until they cleared their throat.

"Excuse me?" a familiar deep voice asked quickly gaining her attention as her two familiars dive into their basket (aka their traveling case) that was leaning against her booth below her on the floor.

Looking up resolutely at the boy's forehead she responded, "Yes, Black? May I help you with something?"

Black looked startled at the fact that she knew his name but quickly recovered from it as he sauntered into the room flirtatiously, "You have me at a disadvantage love, you know my name but I don't know yours."

Sighing, Nicolasa turned to the window, "Of course you don't…" she whispered morosely before turning back to her year mate, "Nicolasa Santos, Gryffindor, we share almost all the same classes." She replied monotonously.

"Ah! I remember now!" Black gasped, "Remus pointed you out a while back when we were at the Common Room, must've forgotten about that." He admitted sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head.

"Hmm," she shrugged, "Was there something you needed?"

"Yes, you see all of the other compartments are full, and we were looking for a compartment to sit in…" he trailed off.

"And?" she asked bluntly.

"Well I was wondering if we could sit in here." Black quipped back almost pleadingly.

Nicolasa sighed tiredly, if she refused to let Black and his annoying friends (excluding Lupin of course) to sit in her compartment they would most likely make the following school year a living hell for her, "That's fine." She stated hesitantly.

Black smiled triumphantly as he pulled his trunk into the room and lifted it up into the overhead compartment, her own trunk was already shrunk and tucked away in her bag, "Prongs! Wormtail!" he yelled as he poked his head out the door, "Moony! I got us a compartment!"

"On our way, Padfoot!" Potter shouted back as she heard the stomping feet of the other boys as they made their way to her compartment. Bending down she lifted the basket holding her two familiars and placed it on the seat next to her as she put her feet squarely on the ground, there was enough space that another person could sit next to the basket on the other side, but she didn't want to risk coming into contact with any of the Marauders.

Black plopped himself in the seat across from her as Potter walked into the compartment and lugged his trunk to the overhead, "Nice spot you got us Sirius." He declared before looking down at her, "Hey, James Potter." He introduced as he sat down beside Black, "Thanks for letting us sit here."

Nicolasa nodded timidly before looking away from the boys as she stared outside the window while her stray fingers played with the ocarina hanging from her neck. The other boys must have arrived and settled into the compartment while she was daydreaming since Lupin seemed to be sitting at the other side of the basket and was looking at her expectantly.

"Ah, I'm sorry… did you say something?" she asked quietly as she tried to stop herself from blushing.

Lupin smiled softly, "That's fine, I was just asking how your year went. We haven't spoken in a while."

Smiling back at him, Nicolasa responded casually, "Oh, you know, it was fine. I'm positive I passed all of my exams and I just can't wait to get to Kings Cross station. You?"

"Same," he responded, "Although I can't wait to have break away from these three scoundrels." He teased as the three boys screamed 'Hey!'

"Are you doing anything over the break Santos?" Potter asked curiously as he tilted his head to the side subconsciously, reminding her strangely of Quico.

Swallowing down a giggle, Nicolasa responded excitedly, "We're going to New York this summer in celebration of my three brothers' graduation from school."

"That's cool, I've always wanted to go to the Big Apple." Lupin stated wistfully before he asked curiously, "I didn't know that you had brothers."

"Hmmm, oh that's because they attended the Mahō to Majutsu no Gakkō or the School of Magic and Witchcraft/Wizardry in Japan. My brother Luka was obsessed with the Japanese culture when we were children, just as how I was interested in the English and American culture, and he managed to convince our father to let him go… that was where he met the rest of my honorary brothers." She explained as she smiled softly thinking about her four siblings antics, "Luka is actually coming to pick me up today with my father for the first time, since school starts and ends at different times then it does here, so I'm pretty excited to see him."

"I'm guessing you aren't British then." Black stated as the four boys' postures practically screamed curiosity.

"No, I'm not." She elaborated, "I'm a Spaniard."

"Oh, what made you decide to come to Hogwarts then?" Pettigrew asked squeakily.

Smiling mischievously, Nicolasa replied, "It was closer than Salem." She stated before pulling out her journal and fountain pen to begin writing. The boys seemed to understand her subtle dismissal as they began talking amongst themselves and let her be. The rest of the train ride seemed to go by quickly as they finally pulled up to the station.

Nicolasa smiled excitedly as she stared out the window towards the station, before her previous joy and excitement turned cold and horror burned her insides viciously. The Dark Mark that had plagued the Prophet for months was above the station ominously. There were bodies strewn across the platform and people screaming in fear or pain as they looked for their family members. Aurors were running around as they tried to help as many people as possible.

Her terrified gasp must have attracted the attention of the other four boys in the compartment since they crowded the window to see what was going on, "Bloody hell…" Black whispered.

Nicolasa bolted from the compartment as she began running out onto the platform, "Papi!? Luka!? Where are you!?" she shouted as she began searching for her family members, her heart was pounding restlessly in her chest as she walked blindly around the platform. She only stopped her search momentarily when Hana and Itachi began tugging at her ankle length skirt, she'd forgotten them in the compartment; she lifted them up gently despite her haste and placed them in her side saddle before continuing her search again.

"Luka! Pap-" she yelled desperately before she caught sight of their two prone bodies on the ground a couple of meters in front of her. Her legs felt like jelly and all the air seemed to have deflated form her lungs. Nicolasa broke out into a sprint before collapsing be her father's side, "Papi? Are you okay?" she asked tearfully as she shook him futilely, his blueish-grey eyes that had always looked at her lovingly were staring up blankly at her in frozen terror, his glasses were thrown on the floor broken and his wand laid by it precariously. Grabbing her father's wand she tucked it into her bag numbly.

Swallowing a scream as she let go her father's arm, she stumbled backward before crawling over to Luka's side shakily, "Lu-Lu?" she asked as sobs began to escape from her lips as she began tugging on her brother's sleeve, a puddle of blood laid underneath his head, "Luka? Luka!" she screamed loudly as her brother remained still as death, his wand was still held by his left hand loosely as if he was still trying to defend himself. Raising her trembling hand to his neck she sobbed in relief as she felt a pulse beneath her fingers. He was alive!

"Help!" she shouted in a panicked frenzy, "My brother needs help! He's alive, please someone help us!"

A nearby auror ran towards her as kneeled beside her, "What's wrong?" he asked as he began checking her brother.

"I-I'm not sure." She stuttered, "He's breathing but I ca-can't wake him up and he's lousing s-so much bl-blood."

The auror tried to smile at her reassuringly, "Hey everything is going to be alright. We're going to get him help, what's his name?" he asked before shouting behind her to get some Healers.

"Luka S-Santos." She whispered monotonously as she clung to her brother's hand as if it were a lifeline.

The auror nodded, "Okay, I'm Winston, what's yours?" he asked as he began inspecting her father's body.

"Nicolasa." She murmured, before she stared at her father brokenly, "He's gone isn't he?"

Winston snapped up to look at her, "My papi is gone isn't he?" she asked as she began sobbing brokenly, "It's all my fault!" she cried as Healers began surrounding Luka and prepping him for travel to St. Mongo's.

Nicolasa's heart was pounding and her vision seemed to be failing her as she cried silently, she couldn't breathe.

"Shh," Winston hushed as he pulled her into a hug, "Hey, hey.. It's okay. It's not your fault shh-"

Everything went black.

* * *

 **7343 Words**

* * *

 **Notes:**

The next chapter will definitely not be as long, hopefully…. It has taken a really long time to write this chapter, especially since I really didn't want Ricardo to die, but it was important for the plot for him to pass away. I just wish I didn't get so attached to him. This won't be the last time you see him though, he will be making appearances in flashbacks.


	9. Chapter 9: Gryffindor's Wallflower (pt1)

**Chapter 9:** _Sixth Year;_ _Gryffindor's Wallflower (pt. 1)_

* * *

"Sup." = English

' _Hi…' = Thought_

" _Hey." = Spanish_

" _What's up!?" = Japanese_

 **~~'How's it going?'~~ = Vision HERE!**

* * *

 **! TRIGGER WARNING !**

* * *

Hell.

Nicolasa was in a place _worse_ than hell. She stared blankly at her brother as the sounds of healers treating patients filled her ears. Her hand was griping Luka's so tightly that she was positive blood had stopped circulating into her hand.

Akio and Akira were sleeping together fitfully in the chairs across from her, and Hiro was close to falling asleep as well as he blinked drowsily by the door. Her Uncle German, and legal guardian unless Luka miraculously woke up, was outside the room speaking to the Healer assigned with Luka's case.

He wasn't going to wake up.

At least that was what the healers kept saying. They didn't know what spell Luka had been hit with, but the head trauma that he had suffered when he hit the ground indicated that he might never wake up. The twins kept saying that she needed to have faith; Hiro even agreed with them and kept telling her that Luka was strong and that he'd recover from the experience completely. But after the last two months with no results indicating that Luka could even hear them, Nicolasa had lost hope.

She had lost her father (the selfless man that taught her that there were actual adults who cared about her well being and loved her with his all heart) _and_ her brother (her _confidant,_ the only person in the entire world that truly understood her, her _Lu-Lu_ ) in one go.

Her entire world seemed to be crumbling from underneath her. Why couldn't she have _seen_ it!? Why couldn't she have prevented it!?

It wasn't fair! What was the point of having her so-called _gift_ if she couldn't even prevent the destruction of her own family?

They were going to be discharging Luka from the hospital in a couple of days, where he would then be transferred back home with all the equipment he needed. The healers had hypothesized that Luka might wake up if he was in a familiar and comforting setting (something about the family magic saturated in the home kickstarting Luka's); one of the healers specializing in-home care would even be living with them in the guest room of the house. The twins had already moved into their house permanently, and Hiro's folks practically pushed him out the door when they realized that someone else was willing to take him in and had made himself comfortable in the room he always slept in during the holidays (Hiro wasn't a full werewolf like his parents and was shunned and outcasted from the pack when he was a child due to his differences, Nicolasa hadn't even known until the previous year when she found a morose Hiro drunk off his ass sitting on her porch swing... honestly how fucked up was that? Werewolves were shunned by the majority of society and they had the _gall_ to shun one of their own? Really? Dumbasses. All of them).

Akio and Akira had opened up the music store already, in honor of Luka who had wanted to open up the store no matter what after their two-week vacation to New York, and business was already booming. Many people were flocking around the store and paying for music lessons, apparently, the rates they were asking for was cheaper than most and on top of that their own band had pretty much advertised their skills as well as their own grades in music class. In fact, the only time the store was closed was during the weekends so that they could spend that time in the hospital by Luka's side.

Hiro was preparing for the next school year grudgingly, as her Uncle had insisted that _both_ of them had to finish their education no matter what.

Her father would have been extremely disappointed in them if they didn't.

 _(Nicolasa begrudgingly accepted that she needed to finish her magical education. Even if she had to resist the urge to pull out her hair whenever the topic was mentioned)._

Hiro was leaving tomorrow and she was being dropped off by the twins next week to go to Hogwarts. She didn't _want_ to go back. She wanted to stay by her brother's side and never leave him alone again. England had taken away the two most important people in her lives and she didn't want to have anything to do with it. After all, if the Ministry had taken the threat of Voldemort and his blasted Death Eaters more seriously from the beginning her father wouldn't be dead and her brother wouldn't be in a comatose state.

She wouldn't be able to handle the bullshit that was always thrown at her by the Slytherins anymore or the _suffocating_ loneliness… the only plus Nicolasa saw was that she would _finally_ have privacy. Ever since puberty had hit, she had felt her depression silently growing with her and the need to have a razor against her skin pulsed even stronger. She couldn't find _release_ in Spain, the twins and Hiro were clingy beyond normal (not that she blamed them as she was just as dependent on them) and when Nicolasa finally had some alone time from the boys her Aunt and cousins would be bombarding her with their presence.

She needed her father. But he was dead. Gone.

She needed her brother. But he was in a coma. He would never wake up.

So Nicolasa had given up.

She needed her razor.

She needed to bleed.

Nicolasa needed to die.

Her familiars seemed to pick up on the dark thoughts that were plaguing her mind once more since the two of them started chirping wildly to get her attention.

* * *

 **~ONE WEEK LATER~**

Kings Cross Station was packed with families. Teenagers returning to Hogwarts were buzzing around with energy as they loudly greeted their companions; younger children were either crying or running around obnoxiously.

They were too happy.

It was beyond aggravating.

Akio tugged on her sleeve gently as he led her to the train, " _Come on Niki…"_ he whispered as he smiled softly, " _You wouldn't want to be late now, would you?"_

Akira smiled bitterly as a harsh chuckle escaped from his lips, " _Right._" Before he looked down at her as he grabbed her other hand gently showing her that he wasn't mad at her, " _You don't have to go, you know that right? We don't give two shits about what your Uncle wants."_ He stated bluntly.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Nicolasa turned to look at him, " _I know 'kira-nii… but I-I deserve it. "_ She mumbled under her breath as the twins exchanged concerned looks above her head as they pulled her into an empty compartment. Akira placed down Itachi and Hana's basket on the booth across from them as they plopped down on the other chair and dragged her down between them before enveloping her into a comforting hug.

Nicolasa closed her eyes tiredly as she curled into the twins, they smelled like home. She had barely slept the night before, spending the entire night staring at Luka morosely while petting his hair sadly as she laid by his side in the bed... that is until she passed out around five in the morning.

Akio squeezed her tightly, " _Luka would be so jealous if he saw us right now."_

" _Yea,"_ Akira agreed, " _He would be so red-in-the-face and he'd be yelling at us for trying to steal his baby sister... and how tricky-pranksters such us shouldn't be allowed anywhere near his precious baby sister."_

Laughing brokenly, Nicolasa smiled teary-eyed, " _He would, wouldn't he. "_ she agreed as the Hogwarts Express whistled loudly, letting everyone know that it would be pulling away from the station in ten minutes. " _I guess you guys better go now, huh?"_ she asked rhetorically as she detangled herself from the identical boys.

Akira moaned, " _I don't want to let you leave. "_ he whined as his brother nodded fervently in agreement.

" _I know, but papi would have wanted me to finish my education… besides Luka would have a fit when he wakes up and he learned that I had missed an entire school year because I was too busy moping by his bedside, right?"_ she asked softly as the twins smiled at the optimistic statement that inferred that her brother would wake up.

Nicolasa didn't believe that he would, not because she didn't love her brother, but because she was _unlucky_ and _cursed_ in that sense… but the twins didn't need to know that, it made them happy to hear her have 'hope.'

" _Yea, but dad wouldn't have wanted you to continue you going to this sch- "_ Akio stated before he was cut off by the whistle, five-minute warning.

" _Come on Aki', we have to get off."_ Akira sighed as he pulled his brother up reluctantly, " _I'll miss you Niki, you better write us every day!"_ he demanded.

Rolling her eyes in mock annoyance, Nicolasa sighed in dismay, " _If I must write, it'll only be once a week my dear twins… I'm a busy girl after all. "_ she said with a flourish.

Akio laughed, " _Burned!" _he teased his brother who was barely holding in his own laughter.

" _Alright, alright… I can take a hint. I can see that we're not wanted. "_ Akira sniffed in offence.

Nicolasa giggled as the twins walked arm-in-arm off the train and onto the platform. " _Goodbye our precious, beautiful princess Nicolasa! "_ they shouted as they blew kisses to her from below her window, turning heads to look in their direction.

" _You guys are doofuses!_ " she yelled in response as the train pulled away from the station. Nicolasa felt her throat constrict as silent tears streamed down her face, her _papi_ always dropped her off at the station. He always pulled her into one of his loving hugs and kissed the crown of her head and called her _princessa_ … Ricardo Santos, her beloved father would never do so again.

Wrapping her arms around her knees, Nicolasa allowed herself to sob quietly. No one would bother her as she had locked the compartment door after the twins had left and she had cast a 'Notice-Me-Not' spell on the compartment. Her eyes felt heavy and oppressive and her nose was so stuffed that she couldn't breathe properly.

She probably looked like a right mess

Her familiars seemed to agree with that sentiment since they seemed to have been chirping in concern as they curled around her in comfort. She sniffed morosely, " _I'm okay…"_ she whispered unconvincingly as Hana twitched her nose before climbing up onto her shoulders and curling around her neck, Itachi tilted his head to the side cutely before snuffing in disbelief and burrowing himself between her arms and resting on her folded legs determinedly. Giggling at their antics she allowed herself to relax and stared out of the window to look at the scenery passing her by.

* * *

 **~TWO WEEKS LATER~**

The first two weeks of the school year had passed by in a blur… though to be completely honest Nicolasa often found herself lost and trapped in her own mind as the rest of the world seemed to speed on by her. She had learned that her family wasn't the only one to be struck and changed by the tragedy at Kings Cross at the end of the previous year, but she was the only one to have become an orphan as a result of the event. And while the other students who had lost a family member were full of remorse, they were also _happy_ and had the support of their friends and House.

Of course, since the majority of her house didn't even know that she existed, she had no such support. In fact, the only human being to offer her condolences was Mr. Filch and he had taken to hovering over her discretely when she was traveling in the hallways. Even Mrs. Olive and Oreo (Mrs. Norris) had taken to stalking her alongside her own familiars, who refused to even let her out of their sights.

Speaking of which, Mrs. Olive was currently rubbing herself languidly on her leg as Nicolasa walked slowly to her Charms classroom. There weren't many people roaming in the ancient halls of Hogwarts yet, she was walking to her class early after spending her free period completing her homework assignments in her favorite alcove. Sighing in defeat, Nicolasa kneeled down to carry the cat in her arms the rest of the way. There were just too many stairs for the old feline to be climbing up and down daily.

A perpetual frown seemed to have permanently fixated on her face as she stared blankly ahead of her as Professor Flitwick continued the lesson. Nicolasa felt numb as she vaguely noticed her peers take out their wands and begin practicing the spell from where she was sitting in from the back of the classroom. Her father had never been particularly good at charms, swallowing the lump in her throat Nicolasa fingered wand sadly as she blinked rapidly, trying to dissuade any tears from falling down her face.

"Ms. Santos?" the squeaky voice of her Charms Professor questioned, breaking her out of her reverie, "Are you alright?" he asked quietly as his eyebrows furrowed.

Clearing her throat, "Y-Yes Professor…" she whispered in response as she lowered her head timidly making her hair cover her face in a curtain-like fashion.

"Are you sure?" the half-goblin asked dubiously, "Ms. Santos you _are_ rather pale and appear ill. You are a good student and if you aren't feeling well, spending the rest of the afternoon in the infirmary won't impact your grades, after all we are just reviewing spells."

"I'm fine." she stated morosely, "It isn't something Madam Pomfrey could fix."

Professor Flitwick's eyebrows shot up in surprise before mellowing down as he looked at her concern, "I see." he said demurely as he continued his rounds throughout the classroom.

Nicolasa had never felt so broken before.

She stared unblinkingly at Evans razor as she crouched frozenly in the bathroom. Wrapping her arms around her legs she let her head rest down on her bare knees, should she or should she not?

Her arm was aching and practically pulsating, as if it were begging her for release. For the feel of a blade slicing through her skin, for the old scars that once littered her old body in her first life… Merlin, she was fucked up, but Nicolasa couldn't resist any longer. Luka would probably, _definitely_ , disapprove but her older brother wasn't _around_ any longer to save her from herself... and that was her _own_ damn fault for being born in the first place.

Reaching her hand out she grasped the razor tightly before bringing it to her chest as she breathed in deeply through her nose as she quelled the tears threatening to spill over her cheeks. Expertly, Nicolasa pulled the blades out of the plastic razor and tossed it to the side as she collapsed against the bathtub. The metal blades glinted and sparkled under the candle light in the bathroom, in a weird way it was comforting and nostalgic. After all, when she was Rosie the only she could unwind was having a blade to her wrist.

Bringing the blade to her arm she pressed the metal into her skin until it drew blood and then swiped it across her wrist. Nicolasa watched as blood formed across the self-inflicted wound blankly as she sighed in relief.

It felt good.

It wasn't nearly enough.

Blood dripped onto the white tiled floor as her thick life essence continued to escape from her wrist as she brought the now stained blade back to her arm and swiped it harshly against her skin once more. Closing her eyes in euphoria, Nicolasa let her head fall back and rest against the rim of the bathtub languidly. For the first time in _months_ she wasn't thinking about her father or her brother, for the first time in months she wasn't thinking at all, she was just _feeling_. Opening her eyes lazily she brought the razor to her wrist once more and watched absentmindedly as it painted her skin red.

Giggling, Nicolasa shakily stood up and made her way to the sink in a drunken fashion before leaning heavily against it. Turning on the water she let her arm run under it. Hissing at the stinging sensation, she smiled as she saw the new scars decorating her arm as the blood washed away. Her dorm mates would be waking up soon and she needed to get rid of the evidence, not that they would care that she was cutting herself, but she was sure that she was the only Gryffindor in her year that comfortable with the sight of blood. On top of that Itachi and Hana would have a fit if they saw the scars… they would probably think that someone had accosted her and they would never leave her alone again!

Nodding resolutely she cast a small glamor spell she learned from a Witches Weekly cosmetic magazine on her wrist as well as a 'notice me not' charm just in case someone noticed that there was a glamor on her arm. Banishing the blood from the floor as well as Evans razor, barring the blades which she was intending to keep, she looked around the bathroom in accomplishment before grabbing her towel and wrapping it around her nude form and walked out of the bathroom relaxed.

* * *

 **~THREE WEEKS LATER~**

Nicolasa leaned against the cold stones of her alcove as she stared blankly out of the window. It was already October 25th, and the Scotland air was cool against her skin. She could spot some of her fellow Gryffindor's out on the Quidditch pitch, most likely practicing for their next game against the Ravenclaws. Her beloved, if slightly over-protective, familiars were sunning themselves as they cuddled into each other from their spot underneath the sun.

"Finite." She whispered expectantly as she stared at her now scarred arm underneath the warm sunlight. Lines crisscrossed each other in a seemingly unorganized fashion across her flesh. The newer wounds were slightly inflamed and stood out in an angry red color against her pale skin, while the older ones were now a lighter color of new skin that was forming over the original flesh but were forever marred to be permanent fixtures on her arm. Since Nicolasa had originally begun cutting herself back in September, her left arm was already as scarred as it had been when she died the first time around. Nicolasa couldn't find it in herself to care.

The scars were as _beautiful_ as she remembered them to be.

They were also a _gruesome_ scene painted on her arm.

It felt _right_.

She absentmindedly let her fingers trail the scars lightly across her skin in remembrance to the moment when Nicolasa had originally… placed them into her flesh.

It was so easy now to hide them now, nothing like how it had been when she was Rosie. All she had to do was cast a quick glamor charm over her arm and go on with her day, but in her first life as Rosie, she hadn't had magic to depend on. She would wear long sleeved shirts or sweaters every day, even if it was ninety degrees outside. As a result, all the other kids thought she was a weirdo and she didn't have any friends other than her stuffed animal… then again she didn't have any friends _now_ anyway.

The teachers rarely paid attention to her and the majority of her Housemates didn't even know that she existed, so who would care if she cutting?

 _No one._

So why exactly was she putting the effort into hiding her arm underneath spells, especially when the school uniform had long-sleeved in the first place?

Luka. Her older brother might be in a coma and her honorary brothers in another country, but she didn't even want to _risk_ the information getting back to them. Especially since the twins were already out of their minds with worry. She didn't want to stop. She didn't want to stop cutting, she needed it in order to feel better. To forget all the shit she's been through.

The seemingly never-ending visions, her murdered father, her comatose brother, the Slytherin's whom seemed to be getting cockier every day, her damn fucked up life altogether!

But if her family found out what she'd been doing, Nicolasa would probably never get to hold a blade in her hand again. And that was simply unacceptable.

God, she was tired. She always was.

Nicolasa sighed as she rubbed her forehead gingerly, she was falling behind in her studies… not that she really cared anymore, it wasn't worth the effort. She knew that Mr. Filch and Tiki were worried about her, but it was easy for her to dodge their questions and avoid them if necessary. Mr. Filch was busy with trying to hunt down the Marauders who were more vicious with their pranks then they had ever been, even when the Dark Lord and his followers were made known to the public they hadn't been this bad (Nicolasa inwardly suspected that they had also lost someone during the incident), and Tiki was stuck in the kitchen so she began eating in the Great Hall more often.

Though that did have its own unfortunate consequence. Mulciber, Avery, and Rosier had taken to waiting in a secluded corner outside of the glorified cafeteria to jump her daily. Her paranoia was at an all-time high, and she often refused to even walk down a hall if it was even slightly dark. After all, they could be waiting for her in the shadows. Nicolasa was so twitchy that it was even affecting Hana and Itachi, her poor familiars were constantly on alert as they craned their heads from side to side in search of unknown dangers surrounding them.

Not that the two stoats could really do anything against the Slytherin's… other than getting help that is.

* * *

 **~FLASHBACK TO ONE WEEK AGO~**

Nicolasa clutched her school bag to her chest tightly as she made her way to the potions lab, which was unfortunately located in the dungeons. She was the only one visible in the hallway and her black dance shoes lightly clicked on the ground as she moved. She had just finished eating lunch and had decided that it would be best for her to get to her classroom before the Slytherin trio decided that she would be a wonderful target for the afternoon. When she had left the Great Hall the three of them were still eating and conversing with their friends so she estimated that she had five or so minutes before they realized she was gone and they set chase.

Hana was curled around her neck protectively as surveyed the area behind her tensely as her male counterpart scurried in the shadows beside her as he quickly investigated the hall in front of them before letting out a chirp to let them know it was safe. They had been traveling this way for the last two weeks after Avery and his gang of sheeple jumped her on her way to the Charms classroom shortly after the school year started.

And to be honest, it was starting to drive Nicolasa insane. She was constantly hyperaware of her surroundings, jumping at the slightest sounds and pulling her wand out in defense at even the smallest indication of movement. The only way she could relax was in the early mornings when she would lock herself in her dorm bathroom and forget the rest of the world once the razor blade was in her hand.

She was terrified out of her mind on just thinking about _what_ they would inflict on her next. The last time they jumped her they had almost cast an Unforgivable on her before Mrs. Olive and little Oreo stumbled across them and started screeching and yowling loudly… but she knew for a fact that Mr. Filch and his cats were nowhere near her location at the moment, as the squib liked to patrol the area around the kitchens during lunch to see if he could catch students (the Marauders) in the act of doing something wrong, to save her if something went wrong.

Nicolasa was jarred out of her thoughts as Itachi hissed menacingly, his fur began to stand up angrily on his back as he glared angrily at a nonchalant Avery.

"Well, what do we have here?" he asked rhetorically as an ugly smirk marred his face as he twirled his wand in his hand, "Does the little mudblood have a friend?"

How on earth had they gotten ahead of her? They were still in the middle of eating lunch when they had left, and they'd even had their backs turned to her, _so_ how!?

"Phfft!" Rosier choked in amusement as he came out from behind the other teen, "How pathetic is it, that it's only friend is an animal?" he asked as Mulciber patted his back gently.

"That's because the rat and it are both on the same level Evan." He drawled cruelly.

A growl ripped itself out of Itachi's throat as it stood protectively in front of her and Hana. Thankfully her female familiar was silent as it stared tensely at the threats in front of them. It didn't appear that the others had noticed her yet, Nicolasa looked at her from the corner of her eye before whispering as quietly as she could without alerting the teens that she wasn't paying attention to them, " _Hana get help."_

The stoat looked at her firmly before she slinked sneakily off her shoulder and hid in a shadowed corner before she began making her way to the only person she trusted her human with, Mr. Filch and his cats.

Nicolasa stared firmly at the trio as they continued to insult 'her less than stellar pedigree' as they fingered their wands suggestively. Now that they were aware of Itachi's existence, his life was in danger… after all, Avery and his gang practically lived just to make her life miserable, and killing one of her beloved familiars wasn't below them. Her familiars didn't deserve that kind of fate.

Clicking softly under her breath with her tongue quickly got the stoat's attention before he quickly moved by her side and crawled up to her shoulder as he was commanded. His dark creamy fur was still standing straight as he bared his teeth aggressively to the Slytherin's, his eyes were trained on the three threats determinedly. If the situation wasn't so dire, Nicolasa would have cooed at Itachi's over protectiveness.

"Now little mudblood… we didn't get to finish our little game last time." Avery stated excitedly as maliciousness practically oozed from him.

Nicolasa closed her eyes and took deep breaths in to calm her rapidly beating heart before she looked blankly at them. Show no emotion. Reveal no weaknesses.

Mulciber laughed, "That's very true Reginald… Where should we start?" he asked eagerly.

"Hmm, I think that we should just start where we left off." Avery stated before whipping out his wand and shouting, "Crucio!"

Her legs turned to jelly under her as she collapsed onto the ground, Nicolasa could barely withhold a scream as the torturous feeling of white-hot knives piercing every single inch of her skin continuously. She couldn't remember who she was or where the hell she was from how pain-inducing the spell was, and as suddenly as it had come it was gone. Breathing deeply as she struggled to get ahold of herself she let a few traitorous tears run down her face.

Itachi was on the ground beside her growling angrily at the three boys before he began attacking Avery furiously. The Slytherin screamed in pain as her brave familiar drew blood after chomping down viciously on the teen's calf before he continued using his claws and teeth on the rest of the leg. Rosier immediately went to his aide as he tried to get the weasel off Avery, only to be bitten by the feral looking stoat.

Mulciber turned to her angrily before kicking her side in fury, "Call it off mudblood! How dare you attack one of noble blood!" he shouted as he kicked her once more. Nicolasa moaned in pain as she shielded her face from her attacker.

"What is going on down there!" the familiar grouchy voice of Mr. Filch shouted scratchily as he ran towards them. The three Slytherin's cursed before simultaneously deciding that running away was there best option.

Hana and Ms. Olive reached her first as they inspected her broken body in a worried fashion before the old squib kneeled down beside her carefully, "Ms. Santos, are you alright?" he asked in a panicked fashion as he helped her sit up.

Nicolasa moaned, "I'll be fine, Mr. Filch." She rasped, "Thank you for saving me." She whispered as Hana began inspecting Itachi for wounds as the male stoat stoically made his way to her side.

"Stupid girl." He snapped back as he hugged her tightly before helping her up, the man would never admit it to the young witch but he did have a soft spot for the girl.

* * *

 **~END OF FLASHBACK~**

Nicolasa sighed tiredly, she didn't want to remember her experience under the cruciatus curse, but the curse now often starred in her dreams after that event. She couldn't forget that feeling no matter how hard she tried. But the worst part was when the curse starred in a dual dream of her father dying and Luka blaming his death as well as his own injury on her. Those dreams in her opinion were more painful and heart-wrenching than actually suffering under the malicious spell.

Thankfully she hadn't come into contact with the three Slytherin's since then, she assumed that the trio was going to be staying away for a while after they were almost caught, but the paranoia of when they would strike again was eating her alive once more.

A soft coo broke Nicolasa out of her thoughts as Hana crawled up on her stretched out legs onto her lap and looked at her in concern. Smiling softly at her female familiar she rubbed the top of her head gingerly before picking her up and bringing her into a gentle hug against her chest. The stoat purred under ministrations as she nuzzled Nicolasa's cheek lovingly before chirping up at her in her own language.

" _I'm okay Hana-chan."_ She promised before kissing the stoat on her nose. A snuffling sound made Nicolasa look down at the slightly jealous male stoat as he tried burrowing himself into her arms. Giggling at Itachi's antics she lifted him up into her arms as well and kissed his forehead, " _We wouldn't want to leave you out Itachi-kun."_ She teased gently before leaning back against the stone wall and looking out the window as the afternoon sun shined brightly over their spot on the window sill.

Her familiars were already half asleep in her arms when Nicolasa's eyes began to shut closed, a small catnap was just what the healers would have ordered…

* * *

 **~TWO MONTHS LATER (THREE DAYS AFTER THE YULE HOLIDAYS)~**

Nicolasa sighed in frustration as she looked at all of the happy faces sitting and fooling around in the Great Hall as she glumly pushed her food around on her plate. Don't get her wrong she was actually glad for once to be at Hogwarts, but at the same time, she couldn't help but wish she was by her brother's side. She couldn't relax at home, since she was constantly surrounded by people and she knew for a fact that Hiro would be able to smell blood on her if she decided to partake in her… extracurricular activities due to his partial werewolf status.

And being around Luka was a new torture in of itself. He was so still and silent, completely unlike his normal personality which was vibrant and warm. It hurt just to be around him, but she couldn't force herself to move from his side. She had been clinging onto a single thread of hope for months that her brother would wake up from his coma… they all were. The twins were shadows of their rambunctious selves and even Hiro who had been the quietest out of three boys was even more skittish and silent than ever!

It just wasn't the same without Luka. Sure he was alive, but at the same time, it felt like he really wasn't. Sock's practically lived on Luka's bed and he only left when he had to use the bathroom, in fact, she was positive that her brother's poor familiar would have withered away by now if it wasn't for the twins force-feeding the poor thing.

Even Quico and Leia weren't the same. They weren't as energetic or happy, sure when she first entered through the doorway (aka the floo) they had been excited to see her but after the initial excitement they- they just _wilted_. They moped around together either by the fireplace or by the window facing the front of the house as if they were waiting for her dad to suddenly walk through the door. But he was never going to, and it was her own damn fault.

Even her Uncle's German and Tulio, who were busy raising their own toddler Miguel, practically lived in her house. Her Uncle Tulio took care of Luka along with Healer Gwen during the day on top of looking after baby Miguel, then the twins would look after him with Gwen when they got home. Sometimes Aunt Juliana would come over and make them dinner and keep them company. They kept repeating that they needed to have faith and that Luka was going to pull through and wake up.

They were lying.

She had overheard the Healers talking with her Uncles and Aunt. The likelihood that he would wake up from his coma _now_ was a million to one. Luka wasn't responding at all and the only thing keeping him alive was the equipment being used to keep his heart pumping. Her brother truly _was_ gone. And with him, she was sure to follow soon.

She couldn't take it anymore. The pitying glances her family threw her when they thought that she wasn't looking, the horrible jeers and taunting's that the Slytherin's tormented her with, the invisibility she had amongst her peers and even amongst some of her teachers, the damn visions that never seemed to stop plaguing her dreams. No one would miss her from Hogwarts other than possibly Mr. Filch and Tiki. Poor, poor Tiki whom she had been avoiding for months out of self-hatred.

Sure her family, including her honorary brothers, would probably mourn for her… but not for long. They would eventually realize that she had brought it upon herself to begin with. She was a monstrosity that never should have been born.

Now all she was waiting for was the perfect moment.

* * *

 **~FOUR DAYS LATER~**

Being a dog was less painful than being human. Nicolasa had discovered that during the Yule Holidays when she had shifted into her animagus form for the first time in months since the incident. She enjoyed being Boo, whose emotions were dulled considerably. Boo didn't suffer from nightmares, and if she occasionally dreamed it was only about innocent things like running through her backyard with Kaizoku (Luka) on her back as a familiar giant white lion playfully chased them around merrily.

In fact, most nights now she always shifted before going to sleep, it was nice to remember something actually good about her immediate family, even if it hurt like a bitch when she woke up in morning and remembered that they were gone. It didn't seem that her dorm mates suspected her nightly activities, nor her early morning ones, and for that she was grateful. After all, she wasn't a registered animagus in England and she technically wasn't supposed to shift on English soil without running into trouble.

At the moment she wasn't Nicolasa the broken teenager whom had lost all of her family, she was Boo a white-furred retriever who had no real cares or worries in the world. Boo stretched, arching her back gracefully before yawning lazily and plopping down on her soft bed. Nuzzling the sheets beneath her contently she rolled over onto her back and squirmed as she tried to find a comfortable position. A curious chirp brought her attention to the two weasels at the edge of the bed. Her tail began waving in excitement as she gave the smaller mammals a doggy grin before rolling over onto her tummy again.

The smaller female weasel, Hana her mind supplied, cooed happily before burrowing herself into her side as the male, Itachi, leisurely made his towards her and curled up onto her back. Boo yawned loudly before resting her head on the mattress. Boo was tired, so she would sleep.

* * *

 **~DREAM/FLASHBACK~**

Nicolasa laughed merrily as she watched the twins chase Luka down the beach while Hiro cheered them on. Mexico was beautiful; the sights, the people, the culture… the music! It was a dream. And the beaches were nothing to snort at either. The water was clear and shiny as the sun's rays reflected off the water, the sand was warm against her skin and gentle breeze kissed her skin gently from where she was perched in her beach chair.

" _Boys will be boys…"_ her father sighed from beside her as he sat up form where he was laying on his beach towel, " _They can't ever just sit and relax, can they?"_ he asked rhetorically.

Snorting in amusement, Nicolasa smiled down at the man, " _No I suppose not Papi… than again, they are only this rowdy when they're together. I can personally vouch for that."_ She quipped.

Her father groaned in mock-pain as he plopped his hat onto his face, " _Not the twins. They are always loud."_ He stated seriously, " _That I can vouch for. Hiro and Luka on the other hand, I can believe."_

" _Hey!"_ Hiro shouted over, getting their attention rather quickly before running up to them with a wide smile on his face, " _The tide is low, wanna come out with me onto that sand dune?"_ he asked her as he pointed it out in the water. It looked as if the water had given birth to a little island in the ocean.

Smiling up to the older boy, she grabbed his hand and pulled herself up, " _Sure! Do you think we'll find any good seashells over there?"_ she asked curiously as the dark-haired boy bent down to pick up a plastic bucket.

" _Maybe!"_ he chirped, " _Race ya!"_ he shouted before sprinting down to the shoreline.

" _No fair!"_ she screamed before bolting off after him. Her father laughed behind her as sand was kicked off the ground from how hard she started running. " _Wait up, Hiro!"_ she shouted as she reached the water, Hiro was already calves in deep as he stared at her expectantly.

" _Well?_ " he teased with a cocky grin, " _Aren't you coming in?"_

Nicolasa pouted before huffing in mock anger, " _You're a cheater Okami Hiro!"_ she declared earning a laugh from the older boy. She sniffed 'snootily' as she glared down at him, " _Carry me to the dune peasant."_

Hiro snorted in mirth before acting along, " _Of course my queen._" He said dramatically as he walked up to her before kneeling down, " _Get on your majesty._ "

" _Hmm,"_ Nicolasa looked down at the elder teen's shirtless back, " _Fine."_ She quipped as if she was the one doing Hiro a favor, " _Y ou may carry me on your back peasant."_ She stated before wrapping her arms around his neck as Hiro hooked his arms around her legs so that he was now carrying all of her weight. They both giggled in amusement before Hiro waded confidently through the water until they reached the sand dune and let her down gently, " _Thanks Hiro-nii! "_ she chirped.

" _You're welcome,"_ Hiro stated with a gentle smile as he looked out beyond the sea. The sun was going to set soon and the orange glow illuminating the sky was breathtaking.

Smiling at the natural beauty surrounding them, Nicolasa giggled happily before turning to her equally awestruck companion, " _Come on, Hiro! Let's see if we can find some treasures, yeah?"_ she teased as she began inspecting the sand for shells.

The duo must have been searching for shells for a while since they hadn't noticed how low the sun had gotten while they were fooling around. " _Nicolasa! Hiro!"_ the deep kind voice of her father shouted, the two teens immediately looked up to see her father standing at the shoreline in his bathing suit trunks and blue t-shirt as he waved at them, the twins and Luka were still fooling around as they playfully wrestled each other into the ground behind him, " _Come on guys! It's time to head in!"_ he shouted as a joyful smile stretched across his face.

Nicolasa shared a smile with Hiro before looking back up at her dad, " _Coming Papi!"_ she yelled as she and Hiro raced back to the mainland.

* * *

 **~END OF DREAM/FLASHBACK~**

Boo woke up slowly, yawning she leisurely stretched before sitting up on her bed sending Itachi tumbling off her back and onto the mattress. Itachi glared in sleepy annoyance before curling into Hana's side. Boo stood up shakily and jumped off the bed gracefully before shifting.

Nicolasa stretched out her now human limbs before making her way to the bathroom and shutting the door behind her quietly. Mechanically she crouched down beside the sink and moved the tile hiding her razor and placed the blades at the edge of the bath tub before letting the water run a warm temperature. Pulling her nightgown off in one fluid motion while she kicked her panties in another direction, Nicolasa slowly let herself sink into the water not even pausing to look at herself in the mirror. She already knew that looking at her own reflection was painful in itself. She looked too much like her brother. Sighing as the warm water relaxed her tense muscles she reached over and turned off the running faucet before leaning her head on the porcelain rim of the tub.

She loved the mornings, no one was awake except for herself and no one could judge her. She didn't have to hide under glamors, which were now shielding her full body... she had lost a ridiculous amount of weight and Nicolasa didn't really want anyone noticing, and she could participate in her most relaxing activity.

Fingering the blades almost lovingly, she traced one of the lines on her skin softly, not breaking the flesh but almost teasing it. The blade was cool against her arm and felt comforting in her hand. Without even paying any real attention, Nicolasa cut into her flesh with the blade. The familiar sting of having broken into her own flesh didn't take away from the experience of watching as blood quickly built up across the wound before droplets began dripping down into the water, staining it a pinkish-red color.

Pressing the blade once more to her skin, she reopened another old scar before dropping the blade onto the ground, having already served its purpose, before leaning back against the tub and closing her eyes gingerly as she saw spots race across her vision from the euphoria.

Damn, she was tired… deciding that it wouldn't harm her to take a small cat nap (it was four in the morning after all) in the tub, Nicolasa let herself fall into a light sleep.

Banging on the bathroom door woke Nicolasa up with a jolt. Practically jumping out of the tub with fright, she pulled her towel around her body. What time was it that someone was already awake and trying to get into the bathroom?

Fear bloomed throughout her chest as she quickly let the water drain from the tub before quickly hiding the blade in its hiding spot. She quickly banished any blood from her body and cast the full-body glamor before opening up the door with haste.

She could practically feel Evans emerald green eyes glaring into her as she tiredly made her way into the bathroom, "Why were you in here for so long?" she accused in a frustrated voice, as Nicolasa looked around the dorm to the other two girls quickly running around the dorm as they tried to get ready.

"I apologize…" she mumbled as her hair covered her face like a curtain, "I fell asleep in the tub."

Evans sighed, "Just don't do it again, we're all going to be late now."

Nicolasa blushed darkly as she made her to her bed and pulled the curtains around her before she manually began getting dressed in the school uniform. That had been a close call, she had almost been discovered.

* * *

 **Words: 7,465**

* * *

 **WARNING: cutting, suicidal thoughts, bullying, death of a loved one, grief, depression.**

* * *

 _Quick Note:_ The next chapter is going to be a difficult one to read. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts and/or is feeling depressed is free to contact me if they need someone to talk or vent to. **REMEMBER**! No matter how hopeless or alone you feel, suicide is _not_ an option. It can be hard to talk to someone about all of the shit you're going through, but I promise you that it does get better. You're going to have bad days, but the good days will always outweigh the bad. You are important. Someone would be absolutely devastated without you in their life.

* * *

 _ **Suicide Hotline in the US:**_ 1-800-273-8255


End file.
